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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,

ok so me and my wife have been married for 10 years, she is a few years older then I am but that has never been an issue.
I could out recently that when we first got together and before we were married that she cheated on me on a ladies night, she flashed her tits to a stripper and ended up giving him a bj, he didn’t cum but she did it for about a minute. I know it happened as I have seen a video of it.
She has also sent a nude pic and video of herself to a lad when I was away on business.

we have 2 kids together and I just do know what to do.
 

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Hi @Mastersongym sorry you're here mate!
You will get help from experienced people who went through infidelity.
But I want you to answer these questions:

The guy she sent nudes and videos to is he local, and is there a possibility she could have meet him?
What she did, is it a dealbreaker for you?
 

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If a guy I was with had done that with a stripper I wouldn't have married him. She showed you then what she was like. You overlooked that and now she has acted badly again at least once.
What does she say about the recent event? How did you find out?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
If a guy I was with had done that with a stripper I wouldn't have married him. She showed you then what she was like. You overlooked that and now she has acted badly again at least once.
What does she say about the recent event? How did you find out?
My post was a little misleading. I didn’t know she had done that with the stripper when I married her, it was only in the last few weeks that I found that out.
she had a massive fall out with a friend, and her friend sent me the video!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi @Mastersongym sorry you're here mate!
You will get help from experienced people who went through infidelity.
But I want you to answer these questions:

The guy she sent nudes and videos to is he local, and is there a possibility she could have meet him?
What she did, is it a dealbreaker for you?
the guy lives about 15 miles away so there is a chance that they could have met.

we have been threw a rocky patch recently. Had a few problems and things have been a bit weird. I have recently had to retire from my work at 32 and found it quite hard to deal with
 

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Hi,

ok so me and my wife have been married for 10 years, she is a few years older then I am but that has never been an issue.
I could out recently that when we first got together and before we were married that she cheated on me on a ladies night, she flashed her tits to a stripper and ended up giving him a bj, he didn’t cum but she did it for about a minute. I know it happened as I have seen a video of it.
She has also sent a nude pic and video of herself to a lad when I was away on business.

we have 2 kids together and I just do know what to do.
Have you heard of this cool new thing called divorce?
 
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Serial cheater. DNA the kids and divorce her.

You probably only know the tip of the iceberg.
Yup.

Serials don’t stop — never ever.
 
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STD test, DNA test for you and kids, and call a lawyer.

You've found the tip of an iceberg.

Call the friend who sent the video and probe for information, just so it bolsters your decision to divorce.
 

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My post was a little misleading. I didn’t know she had done that with the stripper when I married her, it was only in the last few weeks that I found that out.
she had a massive fall out with a friend, and her friend sent me the video!
Sorry. There is much more than you know. I recommend call it a day with this marriage.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
STD test, DNA test for you and kids, and call a lawyer.

You've found the tip of an iceberg.

Call the friend who sent the video and probe for information, just so it bolsters your decision to divorce.
I’m sure if she had an STd then so would I?
 

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3 years ago is fresh. Do you know the motivation for the friend who is sharing these things with you? Just curious. You need to get out. She did stuff long ago and has had a chance to change even though you weren't aware and she has done more in the last few years. It is what it is
 

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Were you engaged during the stripper event or casually dating.... or what ?

Define “first got together”
 

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I suspect the collective and majority opinion will say you must divorce.

At first red blush, and her second red flag, your wife has twice betrayed you.

There may be mitigating circumstances that you might apply.
This remains to be seen.

As others have mentioned, you need to talk to her friend, the one who held that secret for all those years, now giving it up to you.
Why did she do this?

You mentioned a fall-out.
Are there new revelations to be had by her?

If you are a black and white thinker, she must be divorced.
If you are a very reasonable man, one easily given to forgiving, you might get past this.

Yes, provided your wife does all those humbling things, plus owning admissions, and her having true remorse.

What say you?



Nemesis-
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
3 years ago is fresh. Do you know the motivation for the friend who is sharing these things with you? Just curious. You need to get out. She did stuff long ago and has had a chance to change even though you weren't aware and she has done more in the last few years. It is what it is
her friend sent me the video as they had fallen out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I suspect the collective and majority opinion will say you must divorce.

At first red blush, and her second red flag, your wife has twice betrayed you.

There may be mitigating circumstances that you might apply.
This remains to be seen.

As others have mentioned, you need to talk to her friend, the one who held that secret for all those years, now giving it up to you.
Why did she do this?

You mentioned a fall-out.
Are there new revelations to be had by her?

If you are a black and white thinker, she must be divorced.
If you are a very reasonable man, one easily given to forgiving, you might get past this.

Yes, provided your wife does all those humbling things, plus owning admissions, and her having true remorse.

What say you?



Nemesis-
her friend passed the video on to me after they had a fallout. She said that I was a good guy and could t keep it from me any longer.
We have had a rocky patch due to me retiring from professional sport after 15 years. I had to retire due to injury so my mental health has struggled with normal day to day life as it was an injury that forced me to retire immediately.
She don’t know that I have found out about the nude pics yet or the video of the stripper.
 
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