My wife and I have been married for just over 2 years now. She is older than me by 12 years, and has 2 children that are married and have children of their own. She was married for about 16 years before. About a month ago, she went on my computer, not a big deal, my computer is open to all who come to our house. She found porn on there, and when she asked me about it, I didn't want to lie and say it wasn't me so I told her the truth, that I watched porn from time to time, maybe a few times a month.
She lost it. She considers all people that are in a relationship that watch porn are cheaters. She feels that she is not pretty enough or skinny enough for me now. She is disgusted with me and won't speak to me. She is moving out at the end of the month, I am living in the camper. Her children won't tell her that their husbands watch porn also because they are scared of her reaction to this. They say they support me, but if they don't tell her, is it really support? She has agreed to sit and talk to me twice since she found the porn 30 days ago. I of course have begged and pleaded with her that it meant nothing, that it was just fantasy. That when I look at her I look at my wife. She doesn't believe me. She thinks it is cheating plain and simple. I should point out that she was cheated on in her first marriage. I know that porn is wrong, how would you feel if it was your daughter, etc. And I can honestly say that I will never watch it again. She says that even the thought of me being close to her makes her feel sick to her stomach.
I don't know how in depth to get here, but I need advice and I am willing to answer any questions. I am truely lost without her in my life. She took me from being a drunk that had no future to being a person that people really find to be a happy person.
She says she doesn't have any self esteem and that I have put her back in that dark place she thought I brought her out of. She says she has no strength, but she is the strongest person I know. I also know that she doesn't like to admit when she is wrong, so I believe that once she walks out that door, she will never let me back in her life.
I have been seeing a counciller to help myself with these feelings that I have been going through, but it just doesn't work. She truly is my best friend, and I don't feel that I really have anyone else to fall back on to talk to.
I am just looking for some advice here. I have given her all the space I can, and let her be with her thoughts.
She lost it. She considers all people that are in a relationship that watch porn are cheaters. She feels that she is not pretty enough or skinny enough for me now. She is disgusted with me and won't speak to me. She is moving out at the end of the month, I am living in the camper. Her children won't tell her that their husbands watch porn also because they are scared of her reaction to this. They say they support me, but if they don't tell her, is it really support? She has agreed to sit and talk to me twice since she found the porn 30 days ago. I of course have begged and pleaded with her that it meant nothing, that it was just fantasy. That when I look at her I look at my wife. She doesn't believe me. She thinks it is cheating plain and simple. I should point out that she was cheated on in her first marriage. I know that porn is wrong, how would you feel if it was your daughter, etc. And I can honestly say that I will never watch it again. She says that even the thought of me being close to her makes her feel sick to her stomach.
I don't know how in depth to get here, but I need advice and I am willing to answer any questions. I am truely lost without her in my life. She took me from being a drunk that had no future to being a person that people really find to be a happy person.
She says she doesn't have any self esteem and that I have put her back in that dark place she thought I brought her out of. She says she has no strength, but she is the strongest person I know. I also know that she doesn't like to admit when she is wrong, so I believe that once she walks out that door, she will never let me back in her life.
I have been seeing a counciller to help myself with these feelings that I have been going through, but it just doesn't work. She truly is my best friend, and I don't feel that I really have anyone else to fall back on to talk to.
I am just looking for some advice here. I have given her all the space I can, and let her be with her thoughts.