Talk About Marriage banner

21 - 31 of 31 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
My Data Forensics guy got her passwords first (all e-mail, icloud, messaging apps)...all deleted texts, messages...2 years worth...all of it. If your guy has the actual phone? He will be successful.

So...my post is to support you in the best way I can. Be PREPARED for the worst. Make sure that you are 100% ready to see what you may not want to. Suspecting it is one thing...but when you come face to face with the betrayal and deceit...it can be more than hurtful. Stay focused on making YOUR life better. Starting with getting rid of the person who doesn't care about you enough to stay loyal.

Good Luck!
Jon
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
866 Posts
It sounds like things didn't go well. @Bigjalann, can you share what you found and what you're going to do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
It sounds like things didn't go well. @Bigjalann, can you share what you found and what you're going to do?
Happy too.

I "used" the information as leverage to keep myself from losing my house and my Daughter. In essence, without disclosing what I "had" to the EW...I let her know I had some details and I wasn't afraid of court. She wanted to keep her "appearances" and "reputation" in tact. I have primary custody of my 14 year old, and final decision making as well. I kept my home, my 401k, and everything else.

What I found was that my gut had been right. For about 7 Months she had been betraying me, speaking about my marriage to a strange man. What started as a "emotional relationship" developed into sexual, verbal (phone sexting / picture exchanges, etc.) all right under my nose. Bottom line, I felt it for a year, and was too scared to confront her, to stop it. I blame myself there.

But, at the end of the day, I was trying to let the OP know that if you go down this road...90% of the time, your instinct is right. What you see is very tough...but if you can be prepared, it can be an asset to you if you stay focused, if you don't go off the "rails"...you can use the information to help you get some semblance of "justice". I did...at great personal cost to myself. Seeing what she did behind my back, is something I will never unsee.

Hope this helps someone. I hope anyone in this situation does well.

Good Luck!
Jon
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
My Data Forensics guy got her passwords first (all e-mail, icloud, messaging apps)...all deleted texts, messages...2 years worth...all of it. If your guy has the actual phone? He will be successful.

So...my post is to support you in the best way I can. Be PREPARED for the worst. Make sure that you are 100% ready to see what you may not want to. Suspecting it is one thing...but when you come face to face with the betrayal and deceit...it can be more than hurtful. Stay focused on making YOUR life better. Starting with getting rid of the person who doesn't care about you enough to stay loyal.

Good Luck!
Jon
How was your forensics guy able to get all that information without the phone? And how do you find this kind of person? I just uncovered my husbands affair and could really use this to help me through the divorce.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
How was your forensics guy able to get all that information without the phone? And how do you find this kind of person? I just uncovered my husbands affair and could really use this to help me through the divorce.
Luckily, she had plugged her I-phone into our laptop. Most people don't know that when you do, the entire phone is backed up...all of it. Easy to extract, and decode for data Forensics folks. You can even do it remotely without removing the computer.

There are also other ways to get info, buy that would be difficult for me to offer here.

I used a Company I found locally that was suggested to me by a PI. I didn't use the PI because I had found more than enough on my own using a GPS tracking device (Family First - has easy to use app) and a hidden camera.

Hope this helps!

Jon
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Luckily, she had plugged her I-phone into our laptop. Most people don't know that when you do, the entire phone is backed up...all of it. Easy to extract, and decode for data Forensics folks. You can even do it remotely without removing the computer.

There are also other ways to get info, buy that would be difficult for me to offer here.

I used a Company I found locally that was suggested to me by a PI. I didn't use the PI because I had found more than enough on my own using a GPS tracking device (Family First - has easy to use app) and a hidden camera.

Hope this helps!

Jon
I’m going to look into PIs and see what I can find. Unfortunately my husband is pretty good with technology so I’m not hopeful I would get as lucky. I do have call logs with THOUSANDS of hours of evidence at least. Thank you!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
866 Posts
I’m going to look into PIs and see what I can find. Unfortunately my husband is pretty good with technology so I’m not hopeful I would get as lucky. I do have call logs with THOUSANDS of hours of evidence at least. Thank you!
The most sophisticated tech nerds get lazy sometimes and make careless errors, particularly if they think their spouses are not technically savvy enough to follow their trails. That's where the forensic investigator comes into play.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
I’m going to look into PIs and see what I can find. Unfortunately my husband is pretty good with technology so I’m not hopeful I would get as lucky. I do have call logs with THOUSANDS of hours of evidence at least. Thank you!
Good Luck. As someone who "saw it all"...I can say 100% I wish I hadn't. If I could give you anything to help, it would be if you already "know" only get this stuff to use as "leverage". It is VERY painful to see.

Wish you well! I am so sorry you are going through this. Chin up...I promise you it gets better!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
81 Posts
Bigjalann, I read your original post and am sorry you went through that. But thank you for sharing it, because it will help countless others.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43 Posts
Bigjalann, I read your original post and am sorry you went through that. But thank you for sharing it, because it will help countless others.
Absolutely. Anytime. A lot has happened since that original post...but I can tell everyone, that the pain will subside, and better days are ahead.

As long as we all understand people are sick, not evil, we can begin to work on ourselves and our happiness. With the help of a few good friends. :)
 
21 - 31 of 31 Posts
Top