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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Looks like I may be celibate for a full year after all
Should have just kept my mouth shut and just banged someone else without telling her but now NO... I just HAD to be honest didn't I? I just had to have made a promise didn't I? Sh-t

Any hints on dealing with the lack of physical touch and lack of release? How about the temptation of other women? How about dealing with my mates who insist that I need to get laid lest I go crazy - think I'm already nuts. Hell this sucks
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We only just seperated a month or so ago

She made me promise to keep it in my pants and to give her another chance however I don't see how it's really going to work - I can't feel sh-t towards her no more. I'm only giving her a chance for the sake of giving her a chance as she said herself if things don't change she'll be able to let go but feels we still have a chance so whatever...

That means, because I'm nice, now I have to be celibate until I can legally divorce her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
We're a toxic couple, she used the D word, and I put the D into overdrive. Only to have to wait a fking year before we can divorce (laws here). She broke down and said she still loves me and wants another chance, yadda yadda, I pitied her. But I don't love her. I'm wondering if I can fall back in love but I doubt it, still, I'm open for surprises but I'm not holding my breath

Besides a quick split doesn't seem to be in her best interests considering how she broke down but she did mention that we don't change then she will be able to move on so I'm giving her this. Sucks though, cause that means celibacy. *sigh*
 

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If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have agreed to that. Despite all your mouthiness about not loving her and whatnot, I fully believe you are in fact in love with her still.
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:iagree:

Sounds like you both decided to try and make it work. If you half-ass it you'll be unhappy all year, so either try with both balls or stop waffling.
Get into a pro-marriage counselor and work on fixing your snnnit, individual snit and couple too.
 

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If you didn't love her, you wouldn't have agreed to that. Despite all your mouthiness about not loving her and whatnot, I fully believe you are in fact in love with her still.
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RD, I soooo agree with Pidge on this! :)
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PBear that sounds on cue. They do seem to be extreme to extreme. Thinking about sh.t for a whole year? Why don't they let the proceeding take place, and use the year to go day by day. THAT'S WHY they have the year rule in place.... use it ppl.

I agree. I think DK is very well in the love mode with her... I think he's fighting it. Either consciously or subconsciously. At least that what it looks like to me going by a few posts I've read.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
LOL! Well if I love her I wouldn't be wanting to bang other women, I made this stupid promise out of pity. I know this feeling very well, it's not love, it's the same feeling I had with my ex gf before my STBX about 7-8 years ago. I thought it was love but it wasn't, and it took me months to get rid of her because I was not sure. Now I am, and I won't make the same mistake with my STBX and lead HER on

As for letting things calm down they were calm for a while, until I opened up the sex during seperation topic and then she jumped on my ass and eventually broke down yesterday. I should have just done it and not say anything sure, less dramas that way, besides I could have got away with it too considering she gave me free reign - well... sort of, more like she said she was going to give me free reign and tried to test me with it.

I rejected her offer then, but as I realised there's no longer any point to our marriage, I opened up the topic again, only to have her break down and whatever. I don't know, maybe I SHOULD just step out and fk this. But as you said, yes, I told her that I'll give us a shot, not really - more like giving us some TIME. But this will take a while, I'm not letting us get back together until I know I love her but I know I don't, and probably won't by the time I can finally get rid of her.

I don't know what I got myself into, hell maybe to be fair, so give it 3 months or so? At least it's more bearable than a year yes?
 
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