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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a question...

I grew up not celebrating Christmas, Easter, so on and so forth. Although I am not a regular attendee of services anymore, I still intend on teaching my child not to celebrate these occasions as well... How do I go about doing that, without looking like a hypocrite? My reasons for not attending are personal, not faith-based. So I could explain to her fully WHY I don't celebrate these things, but I don't attend regularly...
(My husband's fine with this arrangement, by the way)
 

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You know what I think is ultimately going to suck for your kid is having to explain this "personal issue" to every person in the world as she grows up.
Kids in public school have xmas gift exchanges.
Kids in public school have easter egg hunts in the school yard (at least at our public school they do)
Kids in public school have valentine card exchanges
Are you going to take your daughter out of all of these things because of your hangups about the holiday?
Why not give her the option. Don't sway her. If you dont let her at least experience it then she wont have anything to go on if she ever wanted to "celebrate" with her own family one day.
Is it the Santa claus thing LOL or Easter Bunny? I mean I know people who dont believe in telling their kids this ~farse~ so they tell their young kids Santa isnt real and they still give gifts on Christmas to make it special, though they focus more on Jesus--they arent Jewish.
You're the parent tho, you have your reasons, I have to say that its pretty uncommon to just not celebrate such major holidays just "because" I think its going to take a really strong minded little girl to handle the repercussions of other children making fun of her, or her having to leave the classroom during their easter party or xmas party or vday exchange...or all the kids showing off new toys and clothes and goodies that they got when your daughter will get nothing and feel left out.
You might actually be doing more damage then good to be quite honest.
 

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I forgot to add too that you mentioned services thru your post...are you also saying that you dont want your child to attend church on holidays like Easter and Christmas? I don't think thats entirely terrible to tell your child...not EVERY family goes to church on Easter but they still celebrate it and arent hypocritical....you can tell your daughter the Faith based reasons for Easter and Christmas and just tell her that maybe one day if she wishes to go to church on those days she can attend and you'd take her. I think it's good to let her choose its kind of bad to push away something like that or holidays...i could be completely wrong tho.
 

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I think it would be helpful for us to know faith based religion you are a part of to help us better understand. I think it would also be a learning opprotunity for us to learn more about other faiths.
 

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I just seen something like this at my son's school. I am not to sure why they don't celebrate holiday's but this little girl got so upset because she could not participate in the Halloween and the Christmas Parties. It wasn't called Christmas party the school called it a Winter party. I volunteered at both parties and both times she got so upset that she couldn't be involved. The teacher tried to come up with other fun things for her to do but she was just so upset.
I am not to sure how you would go about it. I would just make sure before they start school that they understand why you don't celebrate these holiday's.
 

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I think the belief's one has is their own between them and their God. Each family will make their own ways and traditions as they see fit. Most school functions are open enough to be inclusive for everyone.

draconis
 

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I have lots of friends who do nont celebrate these either and they teach their children not to because they really believe what they believe, their kids on growing choose their own paths, some retain the teaching while others do their own thing. I think you should teach your children your faith and let them choose later on. Explain to them as they grow why you don't do things the way others do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Draconis and Liza...I appreciate YOUR replies...
I do NOT appreciate, however, being told told I have "hangups" regarding certain things. "Hangups" usually implies lack of knowledge or experience. I have neither.
I was intending to tell my daughter what I believe and why...
 

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I don't attend regularly either, but I still talk to my kids about my beliefs. I think it's a big part of raising children to teach them what you believe and why. That will probably have more of an impact on the person she becomes than attending a weekly service.
 

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I am very surprise at some people and how they claim to have a certain religon yet they dont practice it or regurly or go to service to me that means you have no religon.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, Mrs. Negestie, if you were taught that the sky is blue in school, would you suddenly NOT believe it, once you got out of school?
Things that you are taught when you are young, tend to stick with you.
I know my BIL NEVER goes to church, yet he believes in God, and believes you go to heaven when you die.
So if he never goes to church, does that mean he's not ALLOWED to have those beliefs anymore? And that he's a hypocrite for now teaching his kids there is a God?
 

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I don't celebrate traditional birthdays or holidays. In fact we actually reinvented whole holidays (including dates/lengths) and celebrations that are specific to our own family. Some of these reinventions were decided when they were 'very' young(even younger lol) and some of them in time will be family designated decisions.

The fact that we do anything different from anyone else is comparable to the fact that some people celebrate Hanukkah others Kwanzaa while others celebrate Christmas. And not everyone celebrates Easter or Halloween, or many of these 'holidays'. In fact there are some religions where it's forbidden to celebrate holidays at all.

This was a personal choice based on the personal beliefs in our household.

I don't try and push my beliefs on my children. I want to give them a choice so I try and educate them on all the religions out there. Even the misunderstood ones. I see nothing wrong with showing them these because they do it to children all the time, just in a 'one religion is best' sorta way. I want them to question. I am raising them to question what they don't understand. To ask questions not just to accept the answers given, to search. Maybe that is wrong but I want them to find their own answers to life.

I guess my goal is to guide them not tell them what to believe or control them. I want them to find their own path. In time I will explain why I don't believe in what I believe in, but they should have the choice to choose.

Since what I believe in, effects the holidays they celebrate I try and explain in terms that they can understand, but as they get older I will elaborate and modify for their level of understanding that why other kids celebrate this and that is because many families celebrate different things or do things differently. That is what makes us unique. I explain how we are just another family that does things differently from them. I even educate them on how other people celebrate other holidays. I will one day ask them to write about our holidays and why they mean as much to us as other holidays mean to other families.
 

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Lol! I don't think I answered a question. I guess I saw the title, and read the first post and wanted to explain how we don't do things traditionally either and how we deal with that difference in our family to our children.
 

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I am very surprise at some people and how they claim to have a certain religon yet they dont practice it or regurly or go to service to me that means you have no religon.

yes I agree. You should see where I live in the bible belt, some people just go to church to date to go to the church socials where they get sloshed drunk... and for dating to find partners.
lol
They do not know anything about God and don't care, its just a social activity, yet many of them call themselves christians.
Its very disturbing.
I tend to not talk to people much about religion and their religious doings because it only serves to make me scared of being around people ;)
lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Well, even though we didn't celebrate most TYPICAL holidays, my dad always explained why, and we got to experience OTHER fun things. Instead of Halloween, my dad used to take us all for a drive and out to dinner. And instead of just saying: "There is no tooth fairy, too bad", he still gave us money for our teeth...
Instead of getting presents just at Birthdays and Christmas (obligatory giving), we were given gifts "just because".
We came to learn what everyone celebrated, and why... Christaians, Jews, Muslims, etc. So all was explained...
My sister, after growing up and having her own kids, DID go on to celebrating Christmas and such, but also telling her kids the truth, that there is no Santa, but not all people believe the same things...
So her kids are growing up knowing about different types of beliefs as well...
 

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I believe Christmas gift giving ends when kids are old enough to know there is no santa claus, and certainly by age 18.
Christmas is far too commericialized and pathetic. People forget Jesus is the reason for the season.
My husband and I don't exchange gifts........... this is something new to him because his ex was really caught up in the commericalism of the holiday often wanting expensive jewelry.
We exchange cards and I am happy with that. I tell him not to buy me anything as I do not want to celebrate the holiday in commercialism.
Because his kids live with the ex and are used to getting very expensive gifts from her, I can only feel sorry for them as they are missing the point of the holiday.
 

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You said that the reasons where "personal, not religious". I really can't tell you how to explain it to anyone if we don't know anything about the why other than "personal, not religious".

Also, I know somethings tend to stick with you as you get older, but it's not always the case. My parents took me to church (Lutheran if anyone cares), I was baptized, went to Sunday School, took First Communion Classes, Confirmation (or Caticisim), and everything.

Now, I don't hardly tell this to anyone, but I'm basically an Atheist (or Agnostic depending on who you talk to or definitions you look up). It is something I decided on my own very early on. Actually, from about the time I was in 4th grade, I didn't really believe much of what was taught in Sunday School. Of course I didn't say anything to anyone at the time. I have done the classes, read the Bible, and have a better knowledge of Christian beliefs than a lot of practicing Christians I know, but I still decided on my own.

So just because you teach someone doesn't mean that it can't change.
 
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