Okay....well, it's hard for me to know where to begin. I posted here a while back about the possibility of my husband cheating, among other thoughts that could be going on. 2 very long months later and my husband and I have kind of reunited.
For the record, my husband did cheat on me. We are in counseling now, and according to the psychologist he went through a manic spell which made him feel like he could make any choices he wanted, and the consequences were really no big deal. These actions were NOT my husband. We've been together 8 years, and married for 4. Not one day in those 8 years did I ever believe he was capable of such insanity. I was wrong.
These things included:
1. Changing his bank account and moving his check over to that account. For the two months that he was gone, I did not receive a dime from him to help care for our now 17 month old daughter. I made ends meet, but it was a very scary time for me. I am proud of myself for staying strong though and not sinking, when I felt like my ship was going under fast. It was all for my daughter.
2. Pawned many personal belongings of his to buy who knows what?! I still haven't figured that out. I think he was basically giving her money for whatever she needed, and they were living the "high" life at the time.
3. Got himself a duplex to rent. Found out that his girlfriend was staying the night there, on the nights she wasn't working. She works Thursday night through Saturday night. In case you were wondering what she does for a living....she's an 18 year old stripper. Winner!
4. There was a 3 day span where he did not text or call me. Not to see if me and my daughter were okay. Not to check in. Not to even say "kiss my ass.". Nothing. I tried to get ahold of him a few times. I knew he was still showing up at work, through a mutual friend, so that was enough to know he wasn't dead I guess. :scratchhead:
5. He quit sleeping. There were nights where he stayed up all night long and would then go into work. She was on a night time "work" schedule, so I guess he decided to join her.
6. He/She gave me an STD. This one takes the cake. It was treatable, but something I will never get over. It was the most degrading moment of my life. Especially since I have ALWAYS been faithful.
So what did I do in the meantime? Well, I decided to work on myself. I lost 35 pounds. Not that I was fat by any means, but I got myself into tip top shape. I'm 6'1, and am now a size 6. At 27, I'm in better shape than I was my first year of college. I went tanning, bought some new clothes and just decided it was time to feel better about me.
So, Stripper decided that she could do better than my husband and moved on. Now, she has a new boyfriend who is willing to drive her around. Oh, I didn't tell you? She has no means of transportation. lol He is more her age. My husband is 26and her being 18 and fresh out of High School...they just didn't have anything in common?! I know, I'm totally shocked too.
Husband decided he wanted to come home and he missed me and our daughter. I'm going to guess because he got dumped. He's been on medicine that evens him out and helps stabilize his moods and think more clearly. In the meantime, she still texts him and he still responds. They snapchat each other as well. I've just had it with the whole thing. I've lost my ability to care anymore. As long as my daughter and I are happy doing our own thing, then I call it a good day. He says he only talks to her because he feels sorry for her and she needs a friend. He says that her dad beat her as a child, and so he's trying to be a good person in her life. Because I care so much about her sob story??
We have even met! Yes, stripper and I met because she texted him asking for money and I told him that if she wants money so damn bad, then she can pull into our driveway and I'll give her 20 bucks. Guess what....she did. She's that freaking low. It was actually good for me though. I wanted her to see that there was a real person, with feelings, behind this mess they have created together. I was very direct with her, and she told me she understood and that she had no desire to be with him....and yet she still contacts him. She abuses pills, and enjoys her free bird lifestyle. My husband feels he needs to help, and no doubt has feelings for her still. This I know.
Seriously....wtf guys? How did my life get here. In all my life, I have never had so much drama. I worked hard to get my degree, find an awesome job, and helped support my family. Not one day went by that I didn't tell my husband that I loved him, before this mess started. He was my best friend in the entire world.
I'm trying to hold on, but a huge part of me wants to just give up. I'm scared and alone. Thank God for my daughter. She is the only light at the end of this very scary tunnel. I just want to do right by her.
For the record, my husband did cheat on me. We are in counseling now, and according to the psychologist he went through a manic spell which made him feel like he could make any choices he wanted, and the consequences were really no big deal. These actions were NOT my husband. We've been together 8 years, and married for 4. Not one day in those 8 years did I ever believe he was capable of such insanity. I was wrong.
These things included:
1. Changing his bank account and moving his check over to that account. For the two months that he was gone, I did not receive a dime from him to help care for our now 17 month old daughter. I made ends meet, but it was a very scary time for me. I am proud of myself for staying strong though and not sinking, when I felt like my ship was going under fast. It was all for my daughter.
2. Pawned many personal belongings of his to buy who knows what?! I still haven't figured that out. I think he was basically giving her money for whatever she needed, and they were living the "high" life at the time.
3. Got himself a duplex to rent. Found out that his girlfriend was staying the night there, on the nights she wasn't working. She works Thursday night through Saturday night. In case you were wondering what she does for a living....she's an 18 year old stripper. Winner!
4. There was a 3 day span where he did not text or call me. Not to see if me and my daughter were okay. Not to check in. Not to even say "kiss my ass.". Nothing. I tried to get ahold of him a few times. I knew he was still showing up at work, through a mutual friend, so that was enough to know he wasn't dead I guess. :scratchhead:
5. He quit sleeping. There were nights where he stayed up all night long and would then go into work. She was on a night time "work" schedule, so I guess he decided to join her.
6. He/She gave me an STD. This one takes the cake. It was treatable, but something I will never get over. It was the most degrading moment of my life. Especially since I have ALWAYS been faithful.
So what did I do in the meantime? Well, I decided to work on myself. I lost 35 pounds. Not that I was fat by any means, but I got myself into tip top shape. I'm 6'1, and am now a size 6. At 27, I'm in better shape than I was my first year of college. I went tanning, bought some new clothes and just decided it was time to feel better about me.
So, Stripper decided that she could do better than my husband and moved on. Now, she has a new boyfriend who is willing to drive her around. Oh, I didn't tell you? She has no means of transportation. lol He is more her age. My husband is 26and her being 18 and fresh out of High School...they just didn't have anything in common?! I know, I'm totally shocked too.
Husband decided he wanted to come home and he missed me and our daughter. I'm going to guess because he got dumped. He's been on medicine that evens him out and helps stabilize his moods and think more clearly. In the meantime, she still texts him and he still responds. They snapchat each other as well. I've just had it with the whole thing. I've lost my ability to care anymore. As long as my daughter and I are happy doing our own thing, then I call it a good day. He says he only talks to her because he feels sorry for her and she needs a friend. He says that her dad beat her as a child, and so he's trying to be a good person in her life. Because I care so much about her sob story??
We have even met! Yes, stripper and I met because she texted him asking for money and I told him that if she wants money so damn bad, then she can pull into our driveway and I'll give her 20 bucks. Guess what....she did. She's that freaking low. It was actually good for me though. I wanted her to see that there was a real person, with feelings, behind this mess they have created together. I was very direct with her, and she told me she understood and that she had no desire to be with him....and yet she still contacts him. She abuses pills, and enjoys her free bird lifestyle. My husband feels he needs to help, and no doubt has feelings for her still. This I know.
Seriously....wtf guys? How did my life get here. In all my life, I have never had so much drama. I worked hard to get my degree, find an awesome job, and helped support my family. Not one day went by that I didn't tell my husband that I loved him, before this mess started. He was my best friend in the entire world.
I'm trying to hold on, but a huge part of me wants to just give up. I'm scared and alone. Thank God for my daughter. She is the only light at the end of this very scary tunnel. I just want to do right by her.