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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So many posts so little time. My situation is not unique. My husband and I have had serious marital difficulties starting the day before our wedding a year and a half ago. He is 28 and I am 33. He is very attached to his family, who hate me. Him and his family have disrespected me so many times. He lies all the time. He had 12,000 in debt that he lied to me about last year and then he made me itemize all my spending and made me feel terrible about spending a dollar on coffee, etc.
He lies about small things too and makes up elaborate scenarios around the lie.He lies to his boss at the college and his work and his parents, too, so it is not just me. He is angry and negative most of the time.
Anyways, the only reasons I put up with this is that we have a son, who was newborn last year. And my husband finally started seeing a psych and got on meds for depression (which has improved things).
His latest lie was yesterday about why he was going into college at a certain time every week. He said he was embarrased to tell me the truth and that is why he lied.
Yesterday, he said I was the only woman he could ever love, etc. when I just let it slide. BUt the more I thought about him lieing again the more it bothered me and I wanted to talk about it tonight. He got pissed and shut down and said he didn't want to talk, etc. Like usual. Now we aren't made for each other and he has been unhappy since we got married, etc. Tomorrow it will be that he loves me and can't live without me, etc. He says that it is because we love each other but can't work well together. I think it is because I won't let him get away with all his lies and dodging responsibility that makes him angry and want to give up.
Graduate school with a kid is hard, but all this back and forth and the lies and disrespect? Will he get better if his depression leaves? I don't think it has completely lifted and he has still to start therapy. Just meds for about a month and a 1/2 now. Thank you so much for reading my boring life- love to you all:smthumbup:
 

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Why hasn't he started therapy yet after six weeks of meds? That's odd!

No, his lying will not get better when his depression lifts. They're unrelated. You'll have to decide whether to accept that in your life or not, or find a way that prompts him to change.

I described elsewhere how I got my ex to stop lying about dumb stuff: I "fined" him $20 each time and told him I'd charge something to his credit card if he didn't pay up. It made it easier for me to tolerate a lie, but I only had to fine him twice. He stopped lying. Money's not a big motivator for everyone, but everyone has *a* big motivator.
 
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