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I know it probably sounds sexist but I caught my husband in what was an obvious EA and I assumed automatically it was a PA. After drilling him for the details he said "no, no sex" and from the emails I read from him to her there is nothing there that implies it got to a sexual point. With that said as much as I want to believe him I just cannot grasp that men can have EA's. Is there any guys out there that have sincerely had one, and can you tell me if I should believe him?
Heres the story in a nutshell. We have been together for 5 years, 4 together and almost 1 married. Married in dec of 2011 and 6 weeks later he had to go for a 8 month long job in another state. We both agreed to this as hard as it was because it was an incredable opportunity for him carreer wise and great money. We had no clue the toll it would take on us. I did not tell him how much I missed him out of fear that he would feel more guilty for taking the job, and he did not tell me how hard it was for him and how lonely out of fear I would tell him he could never travel again. His story is he confided in the OW looking for her perspecitive on our situation.. well this OW always liked him so I called bs, told him he was looking for trouble. The skank then flew out to the other state to see him and stayed in his room. He divulged this of his own will, I had no clue, but says no sex. He did have 2 beds in the room. I call bs. Now knowing my husband he is not the player type and took an eternity to put any moves on me when we first met so I can believe that there was no PA. He said they kissed and that was all.
When he came home he was acting like a total stranger and after a month of questioning I hacked his email and got the answers I was looking for. He said they decided to break it off the night I busted him ( and the email I found confirmed that- although I feel it was her wish to break it off more than his)
And so now after many fights, making up etc we are both still here, things going good, except I feel he should be graveling more. I told him that it did not matter if they had sex, the EA was just as devistating, but in reality to me it does matter. And I dont know if I will ever know the truth. Even if he is telling me the truth- why should I believe right? I just needed to vent tonight, and I know you guys are always there to help so I want to ask from a guys perspective- who has had a EA- is it really possible- and what drove you to it? Any other advice is welcome as well. Thanks
Heres the story in a nutshell. We have been together for 5 years, 4 together and almost 1 married. Married in dec of 2011 and 6 weeks later he had to go for a 8 month long job in another state. We both agreed to this as hard as it was because it was an incredable opportunity for him carreer wise and great money. We had no clue the toll it would take on us. I did not tell him how much I missed him out of fear that he would feel more guilty for taking the job, and he did not tell me how hard it was for him and how lonely out of fear I would tell him he could never travel again. His story is he confided in the OW looking for her perspecitive on our situation.. well this OW always liked him so I called bs, told him he was looking for trouble. The skank then flew out to the other state to see him and stayed in his room. He divulged this of his own will, I had no clue, but says no sex. He did have 2 beds in the room. I call bs. Now knowing my husband he is not the player type and took an eternity to put any moves on me when we first met so I can believe that there was no PA. He said they kissed and that was all.
When he came home he was acting like a total stranger and after a month of questioning I hacked his email and got the answers I was looking for. He said they decided to break it off the night I busted him ( and the email I found confirmed that- although I feel it was her wish to break it off more than his)
And so now after many fights, making up etc we are both still here, things going good, except I feel he should be graveling more. I told him that it did not matter if they had sex, the EA was just as devistating, but in reality to me it does matter. And I dont know if I will ever know the truth. Even if he is telling me the truth- why should I believe right? I just needed to vent tonight, and I know you guys are always there to help so I want to ask from a guys perspective- who has had a EA- is it really possible- and what drove you to it? Any other advice is welcome as well. Thanks