While the advice is generally good, it ignores the fact that sometimes changes in the marriage may be needed. After the person who had the affair apologizes and genuinely pledges fidelity, they need to review whether there are any legitimate grievances. For example, I know of a marriage where the husband is remote, dictatorial, frequently unpleasant, and the wife had an affair. She decided to stay together for the children. To have real improvement and a better marriage, he would need to acknowledge the need for change and try to address her needs in addition to voicing condemnation of the behavior. .