Unfortunately, I think it's inevitable, too. I think it's too far gone."You want a divorce?", she responded with "I don't want to but I think it's inevitable."
I don't know if you could ever do enough to win her trust again. She undoubtedly feels that you won't change.She has also said that she feels like the parent in the relationship, and she doesn't trust that I want to have kids
This is truth. Frankly, you are too immature to be married.Sorry this is harsh but,
I think your wife deserve a better partner. Let her go. You are the one writing this and I still feel for your wife. What would she say if she came on.
You have broken trust in the relationship and with the money. You watched porn while not having sex with her.
You have no ambition and you aren't pulling your weight but you are taking money and funneling it someplace that she didn't even know about.
Please don't get her pregnant. She deserve a better partner. I'm sure she is partly sad because women who want healthy children only have until about 35 and she has spent how many years with you? How old is she. And it isn't like a loving suitable partner is something she can just run down to the store and pick out. Let her go so she can fulfill her dream of being a Mom with someone who will be a suitable Dad.
You never know what the future holds. But for now, it may be better for you to focus on being a better person, more of a grown up, if that is what you want.I know it's just talk but I do want to change. I'm not proud of any of the decisions I've made or the way I've gone about our relationship. I want to be better and want to be the person she deserves to be with. I did make a lot of personal progress since going through individual therapy, but clearly I still have issues with my morals and ethics that have caused us to get to this point.
Yeah, I get it. Already started working with a coach and a therapist. My plan is to just better myself to make sure I don’t make these same mistakes again. Not that it matters but I do have a professional-salaried job but could be earning more if I ditched the comfort and put myself out there.You never know what the future holds. But for now, it may be better for you to focus on being a better person, more of a grown up, if that is what you want.
But you need to do it for you, because frankly, she is gone. You get that, right?
And, you kind of can see that the things your have been doing is not the way to go right. You know, at some point you do want a real life, and job with maybe some earning potential, stuff like that right?
I am just not sure that you are going to have it with her. And, if you keep thinking like you are going to show her and attract her back, that just really almost never happens.
What you could do is get yourself togther and be better for when the next woman comes along.
Maybe you should try and find a theripist/life coach to help you plan where you want to go????
Sit her down.Y'all are right. I've shown my character and why would she think I could change at this point. She will be 35 this year and I wasted her prime years being selfish and immature. Thanks for the honesty even though none of this is what I want to hear.
Yeah, I’m an idiot. I actually appreciate the harsh truth. Reality is I’ve been coddled and enabled my whole life, and given infinite chances to do better. Never had to fully deal with the consequences for my actions.Wow so that is why she is so desperate to have children. And you let porn stop intimacy? 35 she is really between a rock and a hard place. A husband who has betrayed her. Or not having children or risk the children having issue like autism or defects of some kind.
Well good news for you is you might actually have a chance. I mean I really don't think it is fair to her but she didn't come here for advice. If you can talk with her and show her that you are prepared to become a better person AND if you approach her about getting to those children. Well if you can get her knocked up she will probably stick around at least 3 - 5 more years. That would also give you time to prove to her you are serious about the better person thing. Now if she was here... I'd tell her to run and hope to meet someone compatible soon or to just pick a baby daddy without you.
I think you know what you need to do.Yeah, I’m an idiot. I actually appreciate the harsh truth. Reality is I’ve been coddled and enabled my whole life, and given infinite chances to do better. Never had to fully deal with the consequences for my actions.
I know I need to take ownership for the porn, but it was supposed to be a temporary fix while she dealt with her trauma and couldn’t have sex. Only the temporary turned permanent and I couldn’t man up and confront or communicate about the problem when she needed me to.
I have a lot of work to do regardless of it’s with her or without her.