My wife and i have been together since she was 17 and i was 18. we are now 24 and 25. we've been married for 2 years and have a 1 year old child.
we have had problems in the past when we first started dating with cheating and flirting. we've made up and broken up a few times since we met and got married. since our last break up (before we got married) ive snooped through her emails phone etc, because i was insecure and scared it would happen again. (prior to the break up we were engaged). and this has continued since. she hated the fact that i did it because even if i saw her texting or emailing to a guy she had been with or i didn't like id freak out even if it was nothing. sometimes however i would find something that really bugged me or betrayed my trust and sometimes i would find something really bad. she has also told me she hated that i would play games and ignore her, that's shes stuck looking at the side of my head when she wanted to watch tv or do something with me.
we would rarely talk about what was bugging her because she would never tell me anything was wrong or she was unhappy about something she would pretend to be happy and she would just bottle it all up until it came to a breaking point which usually lead to a break up. we have done this a few times, we would talk and things would get better for a while then we would fall into the same slump again, she would never correct me when i slipped up so after a while she would bottle it up enough again to where we would hit a breaking point.
were married now and we've hit another breaking point, she says shes unhappy and things have to change or we wont make it. she says she loves me as the father to the kid and loves me and cares for me but not in a way a wife should love a husband. we went over all the things that bugged her and was causing her to feel this way and i have stopped doing all of it, admittedly i do slip up sometimes but we both know its gonna take some time for things to change, we have both agreed to go to counselors and try to figure things out. her biggest fear is that things will be fine for a while and go back to the way things were again and she doesn't want to live like that.
shes at the point where she doesn't want to be with be physically or emotionally and just want to take a step back and just be friends for a while while she figures out what she wants to do. she also says even after we go through counseling and if we do fix all our problems there is a chance that she may still not be happy and will want to leave. i have stopped doing everything that bugs her and have taken up all the house work to try and help her relax and have time and a clear head to think things through, i have bought her things and left notes with them telling her how special she is to me and how there's nothing and no one in the world i could want more. yet she is still unsure if she wants to be with me.
i know she is tired of the roller coaster our relationship has been in the past, fixing a problem and it going back to the way it was, and i know i have neglected her over the years and should have told her more often how much she meant to me, but i had no idea how she was feeling and that it had gotten this bad as to want to leave me. were married now and have a family thats not something that i'm willing to risk fixing and falling back into a slump again, i wont let us fall back into that slump, but she doesn't seem to believe me when i say that.
i don't know whats going on in her head and i don't know what i should do. i want to be the one to make her happy i just don't know how. someone tell me whats going on in her head and what i should do!
we have had problems in the past when we first started dating with cheating and flirting. we've made up and broken up a few times since we met and got married. since our last break up (before we got married) ive snooped through her emails phone etc, because i was insecure and scared it would happen again. (prior to the break up we were engaged). and this has continued since. she hated the fact that i did it because even if i saw her texting or emailing to a guy she had been with or i didn't like id freak out even if it was nothing. sometimes however i would find something that really bugged me or betrayed my trust and sometimes i would find something really bad. she has also told me she hated that i would play games and ignore her, that's shes stuck looking at the side of my head when she wanted to watch tv or do something with me.
we would rarely talk about what was bugging her because she would never tell me anything was wrong or she was unhappy about something she would pretend to be happy and she would just bottle it all up until it came to a breaking point which usually lead to a break up. we have done this a few times, we would talk and things would get better for a while then we would fall into the same slump again, she would never correct me when i slipped up so after a while she would bottle it up enough again to where we would hit a breaking point.
were married now and we've hit another breaking point, she says shes unhappy and things have to change or we wont make it. she says she loves me as the father to the kid and loves me and cares for me but not in a way a wife should love a husband. we went over all the things that bugged her and was causing her to feel this way and i have stopped doing all of it, admittedly i do slip up sometimes but we both know its gonna take some time for things to change, we have both agreed to go to counselors and try to figure things out. her biggest fear is that things will be fine for a while and go back to the way things were again and she doesn't want to live like that.
shes at the point where she doesn't want to be with be physically or emotionally and just want to take a step back and just be friends for a while while she figures out what she wants to do. she also says even after we go through counseling and if we do fix all our problems there is a chance that she may still not be happy and will want to leave. i have stopped doing everything that bugs her and have taken up all the house work to try and help her relax and have time and a clear head to think things through, i have bought her things and left notes with them telling her how special she is to me and how there's nothing and no one in the world i could want more. yet she is still unsure if she wants to be with me.
i know she is tired of the roller coaster our relationship has been in the past, fixing a problem and it going back to the way it was, and i know i have neglected her over the years and should have told her more often how much she meant to me, but i had no idea how she was feeling and that it had gotten this bad as to want to leave me. were married now and have a family thats not something that i'm willing to risk fixing and falling back into a slump again, i wont let us fall back into that slump, but she doesn't seem to believe me when i say that.
i don't know whats going on in her head and i don't know what i should do. i want to be the one to make her happy i just don't know how. someone tell me whats going on in her head and what i should do!