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Discussion Starter #1
Question for those who have been through this:

Is it possible to go through a divorce cheaply, quickly and easily if it is uncontested without children?

My husband and I have practically no assets, no joint debt-just student loans, almost no property to split up and no children. We do not even own a home as we rent our current home.

I am curious if anyone has been down this road before and how it worked out. How long did it take and how much did it cost?

I really do not want to get a lawyer and I know he has no means to get one himself either. Neither of us have much money.

I do understand that once the word "Divorce" is uttered, people can change and do unpredictable things we never could have imaged. I do understand there is that possibility. However, if both sides can remain calm about this and reasonable, is an easy divorce possible?


Also, for those of you who have gone through this...how did you start that conversation? How did you serve the divorce papers?

I am at a loss right now. I really do not know what to do. I have already started looking at apartments behind his back and trying to figure out how to bring this up to him.
 

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I have a close friend who did exactly that. His wife had left him and moved to another state. A year later he called her, she was on board for the divorce. No kids, no property or major assets to split, they agreed on everything on the phone in 15 minutes. He called a lot of lawyers to explain the situation and ask for the lowest rate possible, knowing there would be no fight. He found one who would do it for $350 and was told to simply bring a list of how they would split their assets/accounts "like he keeps his car, she keeps hers. Her bank account has $ XXX in it and she keeps it, same for him, no other assets will be contested, etc." Along with both of their legal information, etc. She told him that as long as no neither him or his wife wanted to dispute anything, and he didnt start calling her with tons of questions that would require that she bill him for more time, it wouldnt go over $350. Basically, "Do what i tell you to do, when i tell you to do it, dont waste my time, and i wont be able to charge you anything more." Simple enough. That paid her to simply legalize the property settlement for them, file the petition with the court, then show up for the brief court hearing to grant the divorce and approve the signed property settlement. Pretty easy.

So are you sure your husband wants the divorce too and wont be interested in fighting you for anything? (Or is there even anything you would care enough to fight over?)

I hate to see a divorce anytime though. Do you care to share more about what has led to this decision or why you want a divorce?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks for that insight.

I am not really sure if he will contest it. I assume he will. If he tries to, hopefully I can spell things out to him as to where he realizes there is no point.

For one, I KNOW he cannot afford a lawyer. This is actually one of the many reasons why I feel I need to move forward with a divorce. We have NOTHING. There honestly is no property to fight over because we have nothing. There is no money to fight over, because we have nothing but personal student loan debt. He squanders all of his money. As soon as it hits his bank account, it is gone and I never see a lick of it. He makes really decent money and where does it go? I work my butt off more than 70 hours a week, working 3 jobs to try and make ends meet. I am _so_very_tired_ of it all. He makes twice the amount of money I do and I have triple the student debt he does.

If anything, I could sue him for alimony and try to contest a portion of my student loan debt. I am not going to do that. This is why I believe he will not contest the divorce. I will have to move into a ****ty apartment in order to make ends meet once I leave him (unless a miracle happens).

There are far too many reasons why I feel I NEED (not want) a divorce. My heart aches each and every day. I am on the verge of tears at very inappropriate moments. I do not smile or laugh anymore. I cringe at the thought of him crawling into bed with me at night. I have not gotten a restful night of sleep in I cannot remember how long. He is thoughtless and lazy to a terrible fault. He works less than 30 hours a week and does next to no chores around the house. He doesn't eat meals I prepare. He belittles me. He is jealous of me. I suspect he has substance abuse problems. He constantly lies about bull**** things. I catch him in his lies quite often and he still lies about it or tries to make excuses. He is not the man who courted me years ago.

Most of all...I cannot have children with him. He has seemingly not only changed his mind on wanting children, but he has also shown his true colors through the years as being someone I do not want children around. With each passing year he becomes more bitter, enraged, bigoted, inappropriate, racist, sexist, etc. and he does not even realize it. It is as if video games and Tosh.O/Family Guy/South Park have influenced and informed him through his adult years. It really is odd.

Instead of doing chores around the house, he sits in his underwear and plays video games all day long if he doesn't get called into work. And for the past couple years he started a habit where he can go for 3 or 4 days without a shower and not even realize it. He has sleep apnea (undiagnosed, but I know when he stops breathing for 5 seconds and gasps, chokes and shudders that this is sleep apnea) and refuses to do anything about it. His snoring is epic and it vibrates the bed. Earplugs do nothing. You can hear it through the second story of the house and into the basement. I have not slept in I cannot tell you how long. And he gets angry with me when I ask him to sleep in the spare room or on the couch.

We were at a Chinese restaurant with our nephew who was 3 years old and I caught him teaching our nephew to "how to make chink eyes" and say "prease" instead of "please." I cannot tolerate this sort of behavior. I did not realize what a horrible person I married. It is as if he is becoming less socialized and more narrow-minded and ignorant as time passes.
 

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Long story short, yes you can do it cheaply. If you do all of the leg work, research, filling out the forms, filing with the court, and appearing for court. Should only be a couple of forms but you will have to pay the court fees.

The speed of the divorce depends on your state, you need to research your states statutes on divorce and figure out the requirements. Some require a year separation, some only require 60 days if you don't have kids.
 

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My sister did it twice cheaply. The first one cost her $800 and the second one $1,500. Biggest thing is coming to an agreement with your spouse. Its when you bring attorneys into the picture is when things get expensive.
 

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Online Divorce in Minnesota | DivorceWriter.com

Depends upon the state, some states you can draw up the papers on your own, file them and voila 6 months later (or whatever time frame) you are divorced.

It's called an uncontested divorce.

Divorce Support - Minnesota Uncontested Divorce


I'd get out as quickly as you can. Irreconcilable differences. He wants to stay a teenager and you want an adult mature Family with kids and a picket fence (or whatever your dreams are ;)

Smart woman to see that he will not change, and his priorities are not in-line with yours.

Don't say a word until you have your ducks in a row and everything in place to move on along.

Serious good luck to you. And concentrate on you and how to make yourself happy in your career, figure out what kind of adult lifestyle you wish to have. Take some time to mend and re-evaluate your goals before you start dating again AFTER your divorce.

Should cost you about $300-500 to get er done

I suspect he will be happy to get back to his video games and partying with his on-line buddies etc.
 

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You might be able to use a divorce mediator instead of a lawyer if you can both agree on everything. It's a heck of a lot cheaper from what I can tell. It's the route I'm hoping that I'll be able to use too.
 
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