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My husband and I are thinking there is nothing left to do, but I found this site and hope that you wonderful people can shed some light on the matter.
I busted my sister-in-law in an EA (not sure if it's gone physical). This is the sister of my husband.
My SIL is late 20's, has been married to BIL for 5 years, and have two small children (ages 4 and 2).
I'll try and break it down by timeline.
3 weeks ago:
I noticed that SIL was getting more texts than usual.
Although none of her other contacts has a ring tone or text tone,
she had assigned a very loud one for one person in particular. Each
time the phone went off, she would not hesitate to go get,
regardless of what she was doing.
2.5 weeks ago:
SIL's phone was rec'g text msg's and I was closest to the phone. I
grabbed it to walk it over to her, and while I was holding it,
it kept going off. 1 text. 2 texts. 3 texts. 4 texts. 5 texts.
All from a contact we'll call John.
2 weeks ago
It's established that John and SIL/BIL are all best friends and
have known each other since they were 10 years old. BIL
seems to have no problem with John texting SIL repeatedly.
He makes a comment that they all go "way, way, way back."
8 days ago
SIL updated her facebook status. John commented on it, and
I followed. The thread resulted in over 70 comments and him
referencing his ex-wife. John seemed to be funny, and a made
me crack up...something a single girlfriend of mine is looking
for in a man. I clicked on John's FB, PM'd him a pic of my
friend, and said "what do you think?" He said "she's beautiful!"
Within a minute or so, he's giving me his cell phone to give
to her. I do not tell my SIL this at that time, because it's late and
I figure I'll just tell her sometime the next day.
Next day, 7 days ago
At 6:30am I receive a text msg from SIL. She has never txt
msg'd me this early. She asks me a mundane question that
she already knows the answer to, but I answer it again to be
polite. One minute later, she asks "what's up with my friend
and that chick?" and it catches me off guard. She follows up
with 5 or 6 questions, all referencing my friend, "that chick."
6 days ago
John and my friend begin texting. SIL tells me I'm going to
have to give her the gossip in regards to them because John
won't give her any. I ask why. She says she doesn't know.
We make conversation and she seems over protective of
John. I ask her point blank if she's having an emotional affair
with this man and she denies it. She advises me they have
a long history together, yes they are flirty, but her
husband/BIL knows all about it and he's fine and isn't jealous.
5 days ago
John and my friend are still texting.
SIL updates her FB status with "sometimes you wanna grab
someone by the shoulders and yell at them, but you just
put it on a facebook status instead."
A couple hours later at 11pm, she updates her status with
"it's funny how you work so hard to get something back, but
in the blink of an eye it's gone."
I was already expecting a call from her, and when she does
return my call, she sounds upset. It's now midnight and it
sounds like she's in the car. I ask her where she's going.
She says she's going to the store to pick up milk for her
2 year old. She tells me, after my prodding, that yes her
husband knows she left and yes she leaves this late to
pick up milk often. She tells me
she bought the milk while on the phone with me, but
nothing I hear even remotely sounds like her getting out of a
car, going into a store, paying, etc. I assume that she's fighting
with her husband/my BIL, and after asking a few times what he
did wrong, she replies "we're fine." It takes a few seconds for
me to realize who she's arguing with.
She tells me that her and John are fighting. She refuses to
tell me about what. When I accuse her of an EA, she says
they fight, and they have for years. It's what they do.
She also advises me that she unfriended him on FB, but
she's probably just being dramatic. She tells me not to worry about
it, and this is just how it works in their 17 year long friendship.
2nd part following...
I busted my sister-in-law in an EA (not sure if it's gone physical). This is the sister of my husband.
My SIL is late 20's, has been married to BIL for 5 years, and have two small children (ages 4 and 2).
I'll try and break it down by timeline.
3 weeks ago:
I noticed that SIL was getting more texts than usual.
Although none of her other contacts has a ring tone or text tone,
she had assigned a very loud one for one person in particular. Each
time the phone went off, she would not hesitate to go get,
regardless of what she was doing.
2.5 weeks ago:
SIL's phone was rec'g text msg's and I was closest to the phone. I
grabbed it to walk it over to her, and while I was holding it,
it kept going off. 1 text. 2 texts. 3 texts. 4 texts. 5 texts.
All from a contact we'll call John.
2 weeks ago
It's established that John and SIL/BIL are all best friends and
have known each other since they were 10 years old. BIL
seems to have no problem with John texting SIL repeatedly.
He makes a comment that they all go "way, way, way back."
8 days ago
SIL updated her facebook status. John commented on it, and
I followed. The thread resulted in over 70 comments and him
referencing his ex-wife. John seemed to be funny, and a made
me crack up...something a single girlfriend of mine is looking
for in a man. I clicked on John's FB, PM'd him a pic of my
friend, and said "what do you think?" He said "she's beautiful!"
Within a minute or so, he's giving me his cell phone to give
to her. I do not tell my SIL this at that time, because it's late and
I figure I'll just tell her sometime the next day.
Next day, 7 days ago
At 6:30am I receive a text msg from SIL. She has never txt
msg'd me this early. She asks me a mundane question that
she already knows the answer to, but I answer it again to be
polite. One minute later, she asks "what's up with my friend
and that chick?" and it catches me off guard. She follows up
with 5 or 6 questions, all referencing my friend, "that chick."
6 days ago
John and my friend begin texting. SIL tells me I'm going to
have to give her the gossip in regards to them because John
won't give her any. I ask why. She says she doesn't know.
We make conversation and she seems over protective of
John. I ask her point blank if she's having an emotional affair
with this man and she denies it. She advises me they have
a long history together, yes they are flirty, but her
husband/BIL knows all about it and he's fine and isn't jealous.
5 days ago
John and my friend are still texting.
SIL updates her FB status with "sometimes you wanna grab
someone by the shoulders and yell at them, but you just
put it on a facebook status instead."
A couple hours later at 11pm, she updates her status with
"it's funny how you work so hard to get something back, but
in the blink of an eye it's gone."
I was already expecting a call from her, and when she does
return my call, she sounds upset. It's now midnight and it
sounds like she's in the car. I ask her where she's going.
She says she's going to the store to pick up milk for her
2 year old. She tells me, after my prodding, that yes her
husband knows she left and yes she leaves this late to
pick up milk often. She tells me
she bought the milk while on the phone with me, but
nothing I hear even remotely sounds like her getting out of a
car, going into a store, paying, etc. I assume that she's fighting
with her husband/my BIL, and after asking a few times what he
did wrong, she replies "we're fine." It takes a few seconds for
me to realize who she's arguing with.
She tells me that her and John are fighting. She refuses to
tell me about what. When I accuse her of an EA, she says
they fight, and they have for years. It's what they do.
She also advises me that she unfriended him on FB, but
she's probably just being dramatic. She tells me not to worry about
it, and this is just how it works in their 17 year long friendship.
2nd part following...