[Hailey2009]

I am 26yrs old, married for three years to the love of my life, and things are wonderful. Every day truly is a blessing.

Hoping some of you may be able to shed light on something though. I'm beginning to notice a change in my husband's behavior in bed. The sex is still wonderful, but there is an edge to it some nights that I don't recognize. (Hope that makes sense?)

My concern is that he has some really tough days at work (I know he does) but his personality is such that he always puts on a calm and happy face. He's a very optimistic, positive energy force!

Lately, and I'm wondering if it's on days when work has been frustrating to him, he's a bit more forward and aggressive and intense when we make love. Little things like less whispering and asking and hinting and more just being physical and repositioning me at times without warning.

Am I reading way too much into this? Is this just normal variation over time with a married couple? Worried about two things. First, is he bottling up emotions that are going to have a negative impact on him over time? Second, is he still making love to me those nights -- or is he almost using me to get even with someone from work?

This may not make sense, but thanks for trying to see through my description to the underlying concern.

Appreciate your thoughts and wisdom!!

 

[missymrs80]

I think the first order of business would be to talk to him about your feelings. He may be unaware that he is doing this. Then maybe it will open up a dialogue about his feelings about work.

 

[2ntnuf]

For me, there is a difference between making love and having sex. That is having sex.

 

[WorkingOnMe]

Women all over the planet complain that their husbands aren't aggressive enough. That they want to be taken. Then when your man does it you complain that he's not making love. we just can't win can we.

 

[wiigirl]

I think the first order of business would be to talk to him about your feelings. He may be unaware that he is doing this. Then maybe it will open up a dialogue about his feelings about work.

:iagree:

Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Hailey2009]

Wow, thanks for the quick responses. Few replies:

-- I already ask him about work from time to time and he says everything is fine, so I'm a bit worried he'll think I'm nagging him or he'll get incredibly self-conscious and restrained in bed -- which I don't want!!

-- Having sex v. making love. I understand that. But having sex is okay too sometimes right?

-- Omg, not complaining about passionate sex, being taken, anything like that. Just concerned if I'm not the motivation but something else is?

Thanks again!

 

[Woodchuck]

My wife and I have been married almost 50 years. My job was in manufacturing. I was a designer of equipment used in various manufacturing processes. If a tool or machine could not be bought commercially, it was my job to invent it.

In 30 years I only had the luxury of a prototype on one occasion...The rest of the time, I had to come up with a machine, on time, under budget, and capable of getting the job done.

In those years, I never brought my job into the bedroom....I saw early on that forgetting about the job as you walked out to the car to drive home was essential to my mental health, and the well being of my marriage.

I really think you are over thinking your husbands moods in the bedroom...It was always the nature of our lovemaking that our moods dictated the tempo of the sex....

Learn to adapt to the different tempos, and respond in kind...Sounds like fun.

 

[the liberal one]

well sex is actually relieve yourself from stress itself, good for the well-being in general but if you feel uncomfortable then you should talk to him about it "the big talk"