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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Perla first is that your photo because if it is people might know you from it ,

I can understand your new to the UK and I don't know what your status would be if you leave this man ,
you are using him to get ahead in your job , he is taking advantage of you and lying to you ,
I would not be surprised if he is cheating on you . that night he said he stayed at his fathers sounds like he was with that other woman for the night .
he might even know that you feel trapped and does not mind not respecting you .

I would say get legal advice and then plan how you can get away from him and get your own place
If I go to my country I will be fine.
My mother is a dentist, she has her own clinic and because I am a dentist in my country too then it will be great.
But it has cost me 4 years of effort and money to make the uK accept my registration and allow me at least to register as dental hygienist to then drop it all to go back. I have worked really hard to pay for my own car and save money for us to improve our home to then leave it all :/ plus I do love my partner and I want to have a family with him but as other people has said, if there is no trust there is nothing… and recently I feel confused and I am not sure if I had been played all this time…
 

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We had been married for 4 years now… I feel we shouldn’t be getting yet to that point of loosing interest for one another because we are still on the first years of marriage.
I want to have kids but this issues are stopping me.
Plus I am from Mexico and I don’t know how to start over by my own in another country. I feel quite trapped. And I don’t want to go back because I just managed to progress in the dental field and I just got my registration as dental hygienist….
It sounds like he won't change, and he's way unable to be trusted.

You'll be best served to start planning financial and immigration status independence so you're working towards being able to live on your own.

That is always best, no matter how this goes. Your confidence will grow, your thoughts will become more clear the more you prepare.
 

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He told me once he was going to a “work dinner” and he did apparently but he ended up in a nightclub. I was awake all night hoping to receive a message he was on the way home but no…. He texted me at 3:30am saying he was going to crash at his dad’s because it was closer and he was quite drunk… (which was ok)
He arrived home at 3pm of the next day and when he arrived he left his phone charging and in that moment a message of a coworker (a one he complained about several times saying he couldn’t tolerate her) texted him saying “thank you for last night” —— I cried, I yelled at him, I pushed him and he said nothing happened, that she was saying thank you because he ordered her a taxi (apparently)
Did you ask his dad if he actually slept there that night?
 

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I live in france now where often women do go topless at the beach , not as much now as years ago , the French have become more conservative ( I think you might call it .)
when a woman is topless men and boys children take little or no notice because you see so many you get used to women topless ,it is part of life ,

I have been to shopping malls in France and the odd time a woman would be setting on a bench feeding her child and as I walk past I pretend not to see her so as not to make her feel uncomfortable , there was some type of protest made to a woman in the last week or two when she was feeding a newly born out somewhere in france and it started a other people supporting her
on facebook , so this last weekend there is a lot of photos of women feeding their children on my news feed .
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
I live in france now where often women do go topless at the beach , not as much now as years ago , the French have become more conservative ( I think you might call it .)
when a woman is topless men and boys children take little or no notice because you see so many you get used to women topless ,it is part of life ,

I have been to shopping malls in France and the odd time a woman would be setting on a bench feeding her child and as I walk past I pretend not to see her so as not to make her feel uncomfortable , there was some type of protest made to a woman in the last week or two when she was feeding a newly born out somewhere in france and it started a other people supporting her
on facebook , so this last weekend there is a lot of photos of women feeding their children on my news feed .
I have nothing against breastfeeding but it does make feel uncomfortable if my partner is there staring... plus is our friend and feels even more awkward. I just don't like it and I don't blame her I blame him... :/
 

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Openly lusting over your breastfeeding friend is really creepy and very disrespectful. I understand the sexual appeal of a woman who’s breastfeeding. After 4 kids, my wife has a nice rack but when she was breastfeeding they jumped up to amazing. I was definitely enjoying them but she is my wife. I would NEVER openly lust over one of her friends or a friend’s wife. Not going to lie and say that I might not take a quick glance but to leer in front of people is outrageous. You need to put husband in check.

btw: He may want to have you pregnant to enjoy your body but you need to be sure he’s trustworthy.
 

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I live in france now where often women do go topless at the beach , not as much now as years ago , the French have become more conservative ( I think you might call it .)
when a woman is topless men and boys children take little or no notice because you see so many you get used to women topless ,it is part of life ,

I have been to shopping malls in France and the odd time a woman would be setting on a bench feeding her child and as I walk past I pretend not to see her so as not to make her feel uncomfortable , there was some type of protest made to a woman in the last week or two when she was feeding a newly born out somewhere in france and it started a other people supporting her
on facebook , so this last weekend there is a lot of photos of women feeding their children on my news feed .
Lots of people topless on beaches where I'm from... nobody pays any attention. Plus, breastfeeding in public spaces is not a problem (like in the UK).
 

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you husband seems to have a very childish and immature way about him in ways about breastfeeding ,
I would expect better from a 10 year old boy , like as if he has some strange fetish

when women are at a party with a new baby they feel uncomfortable enough having to find a quite spot
to feed the baby with out the local fool sticking his head in to have a look .
and most women that feel their baby with the breast find themselves at a party and the last thing they want is to have to feed there but there is not much they can do

the smocking in the back room like a kid is again showing to be child like ,
and makes you look like his mother or a boss but it is not a big deal
if he can't stop smoking it is his own responsibility and health that is at play .

what I don't like is he out partying and you at home and what ever he had going on with that other woman you will never know
but at 3 am his place was not out with her , if it was just his fetish for women breast feeding and his smoking I would say you have little to worry about
.yes it is wrong of him to act as he does
just on a side question if you had a baby how does he feel about it if you wished to breast feed it .. normal most women never think about this until they are expecting

if his lying to you about other things and you can not trust him and if there is any chance he is out with other women you need to think about your opinions
we all invest into our lifes and get everything turned up side down when it comes to an end
it is only some of the costs of getting out of a bad marriage
yes you love him but you seem to have droughts
 

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I think it's creepy when men stare when women are breastfeeding their baby. I also think it's creepy when women (who are doing this in public) don't cover up while doing so.
 

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normaly it is done in a way that there is little to see most often only the childs head

,
I think it's creepy when men stare when women are breastfeeding their baby. I also think it's creepy when women (who are doing this in public) don't cover up while doing so.
I would advise not getting pregnant


Openly lusting over your breastfeeding friend is really creepy and very disrespectful. I understand the sexual appeal of a woman who’s breastfeeding. After 4 kids, my wife has a nice rack but when she was breastfeeding they jumped up to amazing. I was definitely enjoying them but she is my wife. I would NEVER openly lust over one of her friends or a friend’s wife. Not going to lie and say that I might not take a quick glance but to leer in front of people is outrageous. You need to put husband in check.

btw: He may want to have you pregnant to enjoy your body but you need to be sure he’s trustworthy.
until she is happy she can trust him
 

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I have nothing against breastfeeding but it does make feel uncomfortable if my partner is there staring... plus is our friend and feels even more awkward. I just don't like it and I don't blame her I blame him... :/
If this happens again, CALL HIM OUT.
Just say "I think xxx would like some privacy while feeding the baby -- please go outside until she is done". That would embarrass him enough (I HOPE) that he would leave. He may have a lactation fetish, but from what you said, he just has NO boundaries (esp with the work folks you mentioned). His actions are HIGHLY questionable, i.e. him having an affair (or more).
 

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Lots of women do breast feed here in public, but they often do it discreetly. It's nice they think of others.
I hardly seen any, to be honest. And I've heard of cases where customers in bar/restaurants asked the women to cover themselves completely or move away...

You do know that women can't still breastfeeding in the House of Commons chamber?

Also this...



There are hundreds of articles about it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
If this happens again, CALL HIM OUT.
Just say "I think xxx would like some privacy while feeding the baby -- please go outside until she is done". That would embarrass him enough (I HOPE) that he would leave. He may have a lactation fetish, but from what you said, he just has NO boundaries (esp with the work folks you mentioned). His actions are HIGHLY questionable, i.e. him having an affair (or more).
I had been wanting to do that I just need to grab courage. But I always coward up because I don't want to make a scene.

Last time we were in that same group and he was hiding he was smoking in that party, when I was there too. One of the girls thought I know and she said a comment and when they realised I was confused and getting angry they understood I had no idea. They apologize to him and told me to stop being so dramatic.For them it wasn't the big thing. For me it wasn't the smoking factor but the lie. But that day, they though I was making a scene. The guys even stated that that that's why they didn't like the girls around. And I felt like crap.

Ps. There is a reason why I don’t want him smoking (bad asthma issues that block his throat completely for quite a few seconds at night time. One night we ended up in hospital for that issue)
 

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If this happens again, CALL HIM OUT.
Just say "I think xxx would like some privacy while feeding the baby -- please go outside until she is done". That would embarrass him enough (I HOPE) that he would leave. He may have a lactation fetish, but from what you said, he just has NO boundaries (esp with the work folks you mentioned). His actions are HIGHLY questionable, i.e. him having an affair (or more).
If your courage re confronting him in the moment is lacking, it can be done with some humor / outrage eg "Get OUT of here you idiot! " or equivalent head shaking disbelief.

That's what my wife would do, and then never let me forget that moment of my stupid awkward behavior by bringing it up at social gatherings as a story to remember. That would teach me.

Not that I would ever do this, it's just creepy and downright embarrassing.
 
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