[gbrad]

Any recommendations for a book that I could get my wife to help her in this whole marriage process that she would not take offense to. Books are something I like to get people for Christmas, but I want to make sure I don't get her one she will be upset about or take the wrong way if I get it for her.

 

[EleGirl]

Take a look at the links in my signature block for building a passionate marriage.

These might be good because really you should read them as well and both of you should do the things they suggest. Perhaps they could be a gift to you marriage/relationship and not just to her.

 

[gbrad]

Thank you for the ideas. I would prefer to get something that doesn't come from that site, was not a fan of the people there. And I am still not sure how to give her the book without her getting upset or reading too much into it.

 

[This is me]

I would personally avoid self help books as a Christmas gift, it is not the point of the season.

Buy one seperately that either one of you could read. Read it yourself and then leave it out on the nightstand, if she is interested.

 

[gbrad]

I would personally avoid self help books as a Christmas gift, it is not the point of the season.

Buy one seperately that either one of you could read. Read it yourself and then leave it out on the nightstand, if she is interested.

I try and use Christmas gifts as an excuse to buy things that are needed, though I often would not buy them other times during the year.

As for the buying one we could both read and leaving it out on the nightstand; I am reading the no more nice guy book. I have not told her and kept the book hidden. If I want her to know I am reading it, how do I approach that. Do I just leave it out for her to find and then what do I say is the reason I am reading it when she asks?
Obviously I am not good with dealing with potential conflict.

 

[anchorwatch]

Thank you for the ideas. I would prefer to get something that doesn't come from that site, was not a fan of the people there.

I don't care for the people who run the post there either, but they didn't write those books. You may be missing something do to your judgment.

Here's a different view, if you wish.

"Passionate Marriage" and "Intimacy & Desire" by David Schnarch

or

"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" and "Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage" by John Gottman

Good reading.

 

[alte Dame]

I recommend this all the time & it never fails to positively surprise people, men and women. It's completely neutral & is basically the result of academic research, but written for a popular audience.

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation: Deborah Tannen: 9780060959623: Amazon.com: Books

 

[DrDavidCOlsen]

Several suggestions: Any books by John Gottman are great.
Getting the Love that you Want by Harville Hendrick,
and our book, The Couple's Survival Workbook

David Olsen, Ph.D, LMFT

 

[gbrad]

Several suggestions: Any books by John Gottman are great.
Getting the Love that you Want by Harville Hendrick,
and our book, The Couple's Survival Workbook

David Olsen, Ph.D, LMFT

I still don't know how to bring it up to her. How to get her a book like that and not have her get upset or react.

 

[EleGirl]

If you give a book like that to her as an xmas present it will be a disaster. So just get her something else... something that she will really like.

The get the book(s) and start reading them and talking to her about them, and ask her to read them too so that the two of you can discuss them further.