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I just started reading this book, after it was recommended by a couple of people. I wanted to thank those who have posted about this book.

As I read the first couple pages last night, and mentioned it to my wife, she agreed that is exactly who I am - good things and bad.

Anyone else reading this book? Feel free to share and comment about your own personal experiences!

Thanks
 

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I am. It highlighted some behaviour and past experiences that I've had that I just never really thought about. There are some really good theories and pieces of advice in their.

Some of it doesn't apply to me though.
 

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My H read it, and enjoyed it. He is the epitome of the "nice guy" characterized in the book. I didn't read it myself, but he did share some passages with me that he thought were enlightening.

I see the term nice guy thrown around a lot on this forum and I really don't think you can appreciate the true definition of the phrase until you have read the book. Many people jump and say, what's wrong with being nice? There's nothing wrong with it, nice is an admirable trait, but its all about where you fall on the spectrum. There's such a thing as being too nice, just like there's such a thing as being too much of an a-hole.

I love my husband dearly and his nice guy qualities did help attract me to him, but as time wears on and he refuses to express his wants, needs and desires to me it gets old.

He read the book and I do see slight changes in his behavior. For example he is getting better about plainly voicing his opinions and making clear statements about what he wants, but his habit is still to hide and expect me to guess.

So, I think you have to really be willing to absorb and change those ingrained habits when you read the book. Otherwise it was nothing more than an interesting read. I am not sure my H was fully ready to implement changes when he read it.
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I love my husband dearly and his nice guy qualities did help attract me to him, but as time wears on and he refuses to express his wants, needs and desires to me it gets old.
I read it and yes this is my husband as well. He isn't a reader so I've tried to convince him that yes it gets old. I tell him I WANT to meet his needs and desires but I can't if I don't know what they are and my mind reading skills leave a lot to be desired.

He's finally seeing my side of what it's like to live with a 'nice guy' and is trying to change but it's a challenge. These habits are deeply ingrained from his childhood.

I just keep on encouraging him and making it safe for him to speak up. What else can I do?
 
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