In my opinion "addiction" is a problematic term for when a relationship is interrupted by sexually explicit materials and solo masturbation. Yes there are problems, but the driving issue is likely deep seated in emotions like shame and guilt. Many people hide things from a spouse to "protect" the relationship and in doing so it actually serves to harm the relationship by creating distance and emotional boundaries. Some people just can't get over that. Some people allow shame and guilt to build and continue to grow the associated emotional barriers to protect the relationship. As a result of the other person not having any control or access to this behavior or emotional activities involving sexually explicit content, it tends to look and feel like the other person has an addiction. Emotional shame and guilt may be overlooked as the source of the problems.As long as the level of use fails to reach addiction. Use of erotic material is not keeping my wife in touch with sexuality, it has replaced it. There is nothing for the sexually explicit materials to complement. Women are not all immune to the problems with porn that men fall into.
Since Esther Perel cites the fact that eroticism thrives on a elements of risk and adventure, it is easy to see how risking exposure to one's shame and guilt actually serves to make something extremely erotic. Porn thrives on this. Take away the shame and guilt and it very well could become boring. Also northing can kill eroticism more than turning over your porn collection to someone that is upset with it and wants it to be taken away. Nothing can be more erotic than getting forbidden porn back and enjoying it again in the form of contraband.