"Grabs popcorn"

 

Man, you sure called it! What interesting subject matter we have here😂

 

No limit. If I love someone, I wouldn’t care either way and it wouldn’t make any difference - given that they had an sti check before we slept together unprotected.

Also the truth is that your ‘number’ has a lot to do with when you began a committed relationship. At an average of 1-2 partners per year, which is quite low, someone who gets married at 24 will have a much lower number than someone who gets married at 31 with the same level of promiscuity.

 

But if you DON’T love them yet. You don’t know them well.

Example, you are at a friends party and notice someone. You inquire about them and are told that person has been with over 100 partners.

Would you still be as interested?

 

Fun - and fraught - topic! As the above said, age may factor into the number someone has. I don't really care, except perhaps if the number is over 100 and they haven't had any long-term relationships that could show that they can commit and make a relationship work.

 

I think it's hypocritical for someone to want a number lower than their own, or to judge someone for making the same mistakes. For me, if someone's number was 30+, I'd probably be out. The circumstances MIGHT make a difference, but I doubt it.

I'm not a fan of little to no partners either though. In my younger years I didn't want to date girls with 0-1 partners because I assumed (usually correctly) that they'd cheat or break up to ride the carousel.

When my wife and I started dating, I (incorrectly) was led to believe she had only been with one guy, so I almost didn't date her. It went against my "rule". I also felt bad about my number being higher, so I told her mine (even though she told me not to because she gets too jealous and insecure). She hated it, it caused issues and insecurities. I wouldn't give her names, so any time she met a friend of mine she wondered what I did with them and hated my friends. A miscommunication made it worse... To me, my number was who I went all the way with. I didn't include all the oral sex only partners in that number... So when that came out years later, it was an issue again. She asked how many people I've kissed which is a much higher number and I have no clue what it is, that didn't go over well either (her number is the same for everything).

Probably should have kept my mouth shut, but it's not an issue anymore.

 

I think it's hypocritical for someone to want a number lower than their own, or to judge someone for making the same mistakes. For me, if someone's number was 30+, I'd probably be out. The circumstances MIGHT make a difference, but I doubt it.

I freely admit my hypocrisy. If I knew a gal had a count equal to mine, I’d not like that.

I do not deserve my lovely bride😎

 

My count is three and even that I’m ashamed of. My husband always made me feel ashamed anyway. That’s a whole other messed up story, I’ve probably not even shared here. So even though he did anything with T’s and a V he met, I was promiscuous for having three partners. He was one of the three. 🙄

I think, going forward for me will be what kind of relationships were you in before me, vs the count of them.

 

My count is three and even that I’m ashamed of. [...] So even though he did anything with T’s and a V he met, I was promiscuous for having three partners.

Given that there is a fixed 1:1 M/F ratio, and the vast majority of women report low-low numbers relative to the men they end up with... you gotta wonder who in the world is facilitating high counts for so many men? And what would those numbers look like. This discussion happened on that other forum, and there was one gal who said she quit keeping score at 300, which was some time ago. Those must be some interesting stories. Like an underground society or something.

I'm no prude, but I gravitate toward women with relatively low counts.

 

I have limited interest in someone with high numbers because I'd feel like ms right now. I'd also feel like sex probably isn't bonding for him like it is for me..

My numbers aren't that high.

If those numbers were from a long time ago in their youth and their attitude had changed I'd consider it.

 

17,262 😁

 

I viewed my wife's promiscuity and high number (disclosed prior to marriage) as a positive.

 

My wife was far from promiscuous, I am her 3rd partner and she is my one and only. However, at 16, when I met her, the fact she wasn't a virgin was one of the things that attracted me to her. I was a horny teenager and I wanted sex, lol. I figured if the glass had already been broken so to speak my chances would be better. Prior to her I only dated girls with no experience and it felt like trying to break into Fort Knox. I guess I didn't push the right buttons for them.

As far as a line goes it is really hard for me to say. So many circumstance at play here. Again, going back to my 16yo self I think a higher number would have been more acceptable than when I matured some more. However, even at 16 I would have thought someone my wife's age at the time, 19, with a count at or near 10 is a bit of a ****. I knew girls like that pretty much gave away sex or a BJ if you were the right "type". Quite honestly we all saw those girls as throwaway, not relationship material.

I genuinely don't think I can put a number on it without all the context around that number. 10 guys in a month is different than 10 in a year or 10 in a decade. I think what would matter to me more is were they monogamous or not. Do they have the same mind set that when you are engaging in sex it is with a committed partner. I would be very accepting of a woman that had 5 partners that were all relationship based, even if those relationships weren't all that long, maybe just several months long. I would be turned off by a woman that had 5 partners and 4 of them came from night club ONS or a couple threesomes. Even then, if the order of things is changed it matters. Did the have 2 threesomes while in college then had a 5 year LTR that recently ended? That might be more acceptable than the other way around. Again, very complex.

 

I have always though 23.5 was a good number as a baseline.

 

Inquiring minds want to know which half of #24

I would have been ok with high counts for past gfs. I've literally never asked any woman this question though.

 

Kind of depends on the age of the person being asked? Say a LTR is a few years. The number will differ from a 24 year old and a 50 year old.

At the time I was married anything above 3 and I would be out.

Mind you mine is 1. Will always be 1.

 

Wife and I like to lay in bed and talk about interesting topics. We get to do more of this now that the kids are adults. We recently rolled onto the subject of body count and she flat out asked me what mine was. I was actually hesitant to answer, but I did. She knows well that I was much more active than her in these ways, but to actually quantify it…. eh… I was hoping she wouldn’t be too surprised. So, we shared numbers. Of course, mine was higher. Sad part is, I couldn’t even be accurate. I had to guesstimate.

Got me wondering… I wonder if she knew my number before she ever had feelings for me, would that have made a difference? I did not ask her that. Not sure I want to LOL. For me, her number would not have deterred me.

Put yourself in that situation. You just happen to know someone’s body count before the first date. Is there a number that might make you cancel that date?

In my opinion, I think more than 10 would have me second guessing. I really don’t know what the deciding factor is, but if I knew it was, like, 60 or something, I would not want to go through with the date.😂

Like women say..."it's fine as long as it's not too big or too small".. and I mean the body count of course

I have no idea of my body count and couldn't even fathom a guess

 

Boy, that really hit a spot! When my wife and I dated then married, very short courtship, I never thought about that. I wasn't looking for a virgin. Didnt matter. I fell in love with her as she was in the moment we met. Now after we'd married, she'd already told me how many she had been with before me, 2. She asked me and I really didn't wanna tell her. In fact I said she'd get pissed. She goes no I won't. I said yes you will. So I relented and gave her my best guesstimate. She got pissed! Only for a bit though. We married almost 39 years ago and she still remains the only real #1 for me.

 

My wife didn‘t seem to have any real reaction. I think she was not surprised. As I tried to give an accurate count, I felt kinda weird that I could not put a hard number to it. I had never thought to quantify it. I gave her my best guess, but that got me wondering🤔

Had a slow day at work the next day. I tried listing every one to see just how many. I‘d think my list was done, then remember another. I do believe I got it within 2 or 3, not counting non PIV encounters. It was interesting that I came up just shy of the number I gave my wife. I was pretty darn close.

 

Body count doesn't matter to me. And I will repeat what I said on the last thread on this subject....

Never ask her how she got so good at giving head. You don't want to know the answer.

 

Some are just born naturals sir. 😆😆. But seriously.

 

It simply doesn't matter to me anymore. It did when was younger during my locker room talk years. But after living life a bit and getting to know myself and my preferences. I don't even think I have asked that question of anyone in decades. I do prefer partners with higher numbers. I guess I find I am more sexually compatible with them. I don't really worry about them being "tainted" or that they'll cheat more easily than others.

 

This is something that I'm curious about as well. My wife and I have a combined total of "one" prior to us getting married. I had had one LT girlfriend prior to us meeting, and my wife had been a virgin when we started dating. However, does it have to be...ahem...penetrative to count? We'd both had dates that got pretty physical with other partners in our respective youths--up to third base, but striking out trying to steal home. Those seem like they should count given our young ages at the time. Not that we're trying to rack up a high score, but those clumsy, handsy encounters in cars are pretty emotional events when you're 17 and do represent milestones in a young person's life.
I'd like to add a wrinkle here that is tied to a discussion I had with a friend some time ago. What constitutes "body" count for same sex partners, especially women?

 

However, does it have to be...ahem...penetrative to count?

NSFW

 

What's alarming is the new trend called "stacking". Even more alarming are the adults that admire their following generations to remain relevant. "stacking"i.e…multiple partners –separately per night, with backups if needed. On YT.

 

So a Saturday for me? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

Wife and I like to lay in bed and talk about interesting topics. We get to do more of this now that the kids are adults. We recently rolled onto the subject of body count and she flat out asked me what mine was. I was actually hesitant to answer, but I did. She knows well that I was much more active than her in these ways, but to actually quantify it…. eh… I was hoping she wouldn’t be too surprised. So, we shared numbers. Of course, mine was higher. Sad part is, I couldn’t even be accurate. I had to guesstimate.

Got me wondering… I wonder if she knew my number before she ever had feelings for me, would that have made a difference? I did not ask her that. Not sure I want to LOL. For me, her number would not have deterred me.

Put yourself in that situation. You just happen to know someone’s body count before the first date. Is there a number that might make you cancel that date?

In my opinion, I think more than 10 would have me second guessing. I really don’t know what the deciding factor is, but if I knew it was, like, 60 or something, I would not want to go through with the date.😂

I can do the math. I saw a lot of the guys I was interested in out and about all the time just like they saw me out and about at gigs all the time, and it's apparent which ones are playing the field. But it didn't deter me. What deterred me was in the 80s when diseases became a danger.

 

Wife and I like to lay in bed and talk about interesting topics. We get to do more of this now that the kids are adults. We recently rolled onto the subject of body count and she flat out asked me what mine was. I was actually hesitant to answer, but I did. She knows well that I was much more active than her in these ways, but to actually quantify it…. eh… I was hoping she wouldn’t be too surprised. So, we shared numbers. Of course, mine was higher. Sad part is, I couldn’t even be accurate. I had to guesstimate.

Got me wondering… I wonder if she knew my number before she ever had feelings for me, would that have made a difference? I did not ask her that. Not sure I want to LOL. For me, her number would not have deterred me.

Put yourself in that situation. You just happen to know someone’s body count before the first date. Is there a number that might make you cancel that date?

In my opinion, I think more than 10 would have me second guessing. I really don’t know what the deciding factor is, but if I knew it was, like, 60 or something, I would not want to go through with the date.😂

I respect people who care but I don't.

If a woman has the required attributes, I don't care if she's banged a thousand as long as she has managed to keep her past in the past and be a reformed creature. That takes work but I really don't care as long as she satisfies me.

 

Well y'all already know my answer from many threads.

I can't understand why a person's sexual past wouldn't matter to someone.

 

Didn't even enter my mind.

For my part, I had three experiences before Mrs. JH, only one of them was with my prior consent. Mrs. JH is boringly familiar with them. I think she even knows the max orgasms I had with at least two.

 

Biggest problem with the body count thing for us, was that aids hit the news right after we got married! I had sewn a lot of of seeds and I mean a lot of seeds before meeting my beauty! Breathed the biggest sigh of relief when we hit ten years and no positive tests. Was in the navy then and they tested every 6 months for a very long time. Saw a few guys just suddenly transfer to later find out they'd tested positive. One the benefits of monogamous relationships!

 

Lots of great scenarios here. Good reading.

 

For me it's more about a person's attitude to sex. If they had had a lot of casual sex that would show me that we weren't on the same page. When you are a person who sees sex as an expression of love and commitment then you need to find a person why feels the same.

 

These values are important to me as well. The most important factor for this barbarian though is, is she redeemed?

 

It would be pointless to enter this discussion, I guess, no one can tell the exact number.

My limit is those who keep exs in their lives as friends or other names.

 

I guess the question was more hypothetical for an interesting Friday discussion. I realize there’s no hard number that somebody could actually come up with. But we do have ranges. I think.

 

In my dating days, this is something that I never even thought of unless it was glaringly obvious the guy was a player (slept around a lot). Enter: My (then) future husband.

I didn't know how many women he had slept with, but I was hesitant to go out on a date with him because mutual friends told me he was a player/had a lot of one night stands. It gave me the impression he was a clown and I'd just be another notch in his belt. I was a young, divorced, single mom and had no time for such men.

He kept asking me out and I finally agreed to meet him for coffee, but told him I didn't see it going beyond that. Well, we've been married for 15, almost 16, years now!

Eventually, I got curious and asked how many women he'd been with and his estimation seemed like a lot to me. He told me he woke-up one morning and felt disgusted with himself for having had so much meaningless sex.

Of course we all have ups and downs in marriage but I feel he treats me as nothing short of being a queen and I feel very much loved and respected by him.

Yeah...he doesn't always put the seat down and I've learned to live with picking-up his dirty socks tossed about, but these are such small things when considering the bigger and very wonderful picture. Okay, so I'm a queen who deals with dirty socks and toilet seats! LOL!

In short, in my experience, if all else is good, I don't think it matters if a person has slept with a lot of people. People change and my hubby is living proof of that.

 

In my dating days, this is something that I never even thought of unless it was glaringly obvious the guy was a player (slept around a lot). Enter: My (then) future husband.

I didn't know how many women he had slept with, but I was hesitant to go out on a date with him because mutual friends told me he was a player/had a lot of one night stands. It gave me the impression he was a clown and I'd just be another notch in his belt. I was a young, divorced, single mom and had no time for such men.

He kept asking me out and I finally agreed to meet him for coffee, but told him I didn't see it going beyond that. Well, we've been married for 15, almost 16, years now!

Eventually, I got curious and asked how many women he'd been with and his estimation seemed like a lot to me. He told me he woke-up one morning and felt disgusted with himself for having had so much meaningless sex.

Of course we all have ups and downs in marriage but I feel he treats me as nothing short of being a queen and I feel very much loved and respected by him.

Yeah...he doesn't always put the seat down and I've learned to live with picking-up his dirty socks tossed about, but these are such small things when considering the bigger and very wonderful picture. Okay, so I'm a queen who deals with dirty socks and toilet seats! LOL!

In short, in my experience, if all else is good, I don't think it matters if a person has slept with a lot of people. People change and my hubby is living proof of that.

That is awesome🙂
Like your husband, I am also living proof of that.