Hello all,
My husband and I each have one child from previous marriages. He has always said that he doesn't want anymore. His ex-wife stopped taking her birth control without telling him even though he said he wasn't ready. When things got rough in their marriage she left and moved to a small town half way across the country before filing for divorce. He was extremely hurt by this and doesn't want anymore children because he feels like his daughter may feel left behind. I completely understand and see his point of view. I would never want his daughter to feel like he loves other children more than her.
My ex-husband has never been involved in my son's life by choice and my biggest concern for him was a stable home and him knowing that he was loved. I was alone during my pregnancy and a single mom to a very difficult baby. I wasn't sure I wanted to go through that again. Because of all of the drama in the past with ex's I agreed that the two children we had previously was enough.
Fast forward several years...
The problem is now that there is no drama in our life and we have a very stable household, I want nothing more than to have his child. It is a totally overwhelming and all consuming feeling. He is the greatest man and father I have ever met. I would also love a sibling for my son. With my step-daughter living half way across the country that isn't really a sibling relationship. I absolutely agreed to no more children, but I can't seem to let this go. I don't bring it up because I know it just makes him feel guilty for not giving me what I want, and I don't want that. I know what I signed up for. Divorce is also not an option. I love him far too much.
Does anybody have any thoughts or words of wisdom about how to let this overwhelming feeling go? I very much doubt he will change his mind (he is thinking about a vasectomy), so I need to move on from it. Does the want for another child ever go away?
Oh and my husband is in the military, so moving closer to his daughter is not really an option.
My husband and I each have one child from previous marriages. He has always said that he doesn't want anymore. His ex-wife stopped taking her birth control without telling him even though he said he wasn't ready. When things got rough in their marriage she left and moved to a small town half way across the country before filing for divorce. He was extremely hurt by this and doesn't want anymore children because he feels like his daughter may feel left behind. I completely understand and see his point of view. I would never want his daughter to feel like he loves other children more than her.
My ex-husband has never been involved in my son's life by choice and my biggest concern for him was a stable home and him knowing that he was loved. I was alone during my pregnancy and a single mom to a very difficult baby. I wasn't sure I wanted to go through that again. Because of all of the drama in the past with ex's I agreed that the two children we had previously was enough.
Fast forward several years...
The problem is now that there is no drama in our life and we have a very stable household, I want nothing more than to have his child. It is a totally overwhelming and all consuming feeling. He is the greatest man and father I have ever met. I would also love a sibling for my son. With my step-daughter living half way across the country that isn't really a sibling relationship. I absolutely agreed to no more children, but I can't seem to let this go. I don't bring it up because I know it just makes him feel guilty for not giving me what I want, and I don't want that. I know what I signed up for. Divorce is also not an option. I love him far too much.
Does anybody have any thoughts or words of wisdom about how to let this overwhelming feeling go? I very much doubt he will change his mind (he is thinking about a vasectomy), so I need to move on from it. Does the want for another child ever go away?
Oh and my husband is in the military, so moving closer to his daughter is not really an option.