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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
On my birthday my W told me she was having her period and that sexual acts were out of question between us. The thing is I don't understand the fuss surrounding birthdays. Surprisingly enough another Lady I have contact with asked me what I did for my birthday on the day of my birthday. The way she asked gave me pause for thought. Was this a come-on and she wanted me to suggest we go out for a drink? I am clueless to flirting hints by women but there was some hair fiddling and a coy look she gave me that has me wondering.

At any rate I feel somewhat anxious at the minute. I get the impression that my W is planning something sexual that my current mood cannot handle. If a spouse plans something sexy that may disturb you is there a subtle way to turn it down without hurting your partner?
 

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huh?

What is your question? Do you turn your wife down because you think another woman was flirting?

Asking a man what he did for his birthday isn't flirting. It's conversation.
 
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If she's going out of her way to plan something special, her feelings will probably be hurt regardless of how you turn her down.

It seems that you have some time to prepare for this, what is your current mood that would stop you from having a romantic evening with your spouse?
 

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I too don't see what's going on - has she turned you down? Do you fear some kind of wild monkey sex or maybe some bad news on your birthday?

Particularly if you have a bit of time, discuss how you feel preemptively so as not to ruin any good plans she may be making. Ask to plan something together, etc - and perhaps let her know if you're open to a surprise in future.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My only reason to mention the other woman was to emphasize that some people feel a birthday is a special day that needs to be marked by doing something whatever that something might be.

That_girl you could be right it might have been just normal conversation and I took it up all wrong but someone else also mentioned my birthday to me and it wasn't said in the same manner.

My mood is tending towards a deep depression at the minute and I feel a need to keep to my own company. I don't like to lie so if I asked I say I feel bad. This cuts no ice as I've been ill for so long that it is just a shrug of the shoulders thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
TrustInUs yes I am on a low dosage of lexpro for depression. I am waiting to see a Psychologist as I cannot get access to a Psychiatrist at the moment. I hope this might help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
What I'd like is to be able to ejaculate during V sex. And that by doing so my wife might get some enjoyment from sex. Its been a long time since we have both enjoyed full sex.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
What do we enjoy together? Sometimes a good movie but it can be potluck to find a good one that suits both our tastes. We might do a spot of decorating together but that aside my W shys away from doing lots of things with me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
T&T I had these problems prior to being on antidepressants so it isn't the tablets.

Michael A. Brown it might be just wishful thinking on my part as I am not very good at reading the signs. So far 18 years on I'm still faithful.

To continue this story : Yesterday my W came on to me strong and I decided to just let it happen and see if relaxing would help me ejaculate. She tried out a squatting type sexual move that I'd never seen her do before but it hurt me a bit. We reverted to her on top but once she was tired she stopped without me being satisfied. After us laying side by side for a bit I told her I was still tense and unfinished. This led to the normal rigmarole about how I should finish. The long and short was I didn't finish.

I asked that from now on before we begin that she consider first how I might finish. It ended with me asking her to smile to which she said she had lost her smile long ago. To which I stated " what are you doing still with me then, if I make you unhappy. I told her we are great friends but lousy lovers.

This morning it was back to normal for her and as if yesterday's words/actions never occurred.
 
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