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Discussion Starter #1
Recently I was surprised to find out that part of being bipolar is hyper sexuality. My wife was suffering from bipolar when we met. She had been to therapy and was on meds. She has been off the meds for a while still takes one for anxiety. I did not really figure the amount of sex she had before we met was due to this and her depression was related to so much casual sex. She compulsively fooled around between ages 16-24 i think with a total of almost 20 guys maybe more. I figure thats got to do something to your head? I just worry that she might some day relapse? Or with so many partners that she might get sick of me or something married for 10 years.
 

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Women who are promiscuous in their 20's have a very hard time pair bonding with anyone later in life.
No she's not sick of you. She just no idea how to have a correct, stable relationship.
Your wife sounds like my ex. I was married 25 years to her. Divorced a couple years ago. She still cannot form a meaningful relationship with a man.
Was you wife abused as a child?
 

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Recently I was surprised to find out that part of being bipolar is hyper sexuality. My wife was suffering from bipolar when we met. She had been to therapy and was on meds. She has been off the meds for a while still takes one for anxiety. I did not really figure the amount of sex she had before we met was due to this and her depression was related to so much casual sex. She compulsively fooled around between ages 16-24 i think with a total of almost 20 guys maybe more. I figure thats got to do something to your head? I just worry that she might some day relapse? Or with so many partners that she might get sick of me or something married for 10 years.
Don't confuse being very sexual with being very promiscuous.

Someone can be 'hyper sexual' while being bipolar while on a manic phase because they're hyper everything. Then while on a depressive phase, it can be quite the opposite.

Someone can be very promiscuous, and not be hyper sexual or sexual at all. They may be looking for validation, or self-worth, or distraction from their life. I'm not saying all promiscuous people aren't also very sexual, I'm just saying that they are two different but related things.

I know of more than one woman that was promiscuous in her youth and has happily settled down with one guy for life. It's all on how you think about it. I'm a guy, but the way I think about it is that there's very little I haven't experienced so there's a sense of 'been there and done that' about random women.
 

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No she was not abused as a child . Great parents that are still together. She just was diagnosed with bi polar . We have a really solid relationship. Thanks for the input. One thing is she is not super touchy not into kissing and touching nearly as much as iam always wonder if the past figures into that but she says that's how shes always been.
 

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It's a symptom of an illness, and bipolar is not the only mental illness with hypersexuality as a symptom. The illness needs to be treated and under control for the symptom to be under control as well.

If your wife has regrets about her sexual past, that's a good sign that it wasn't her normal state. Though, plenty of people choose to have many sexual partners, without a mental illness being a factor.

You said she's off her meds, except the anxiety medication, was that discussed with her psychiatrist or therapist? Or did she decide to stop the meds without consulting?

Having a lot of partners doesn't mean someone will get bored of their spouse. Nor is it an excuse for the future.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
It's a symptom of an illness, and bipolar is not the only mental illness with hypersexuality as a symptom. The illness needs to be treated and under control for the symptom to be under control as well.

If your wife has regrets about her sexual past, that's a good sign that it wasn't her normal state. Though, plenty of people choose to have many sexual partners, without a mental illness being a factor.

You said she's off her meds, except the anxiety medication, was that discussed with her psychiatrist or therapist? Or did she decide to stop the meds without consulting?

Having a lot of partners doesn't mean someone will get bored of their spouse. Nor is it an excuse for the future.
She did everything with professional help and still gets into the doc when needed. She doing awesome right how.
I get the feeling that she would take about her sex past back when she tell me it was meaningless and some of the pitfalls of that kind of behavior like i so lucky i didn't get into more trouble.
 

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No she was not abused as a child . Great parents that are still together. She just was diagnosed with bi polar . We have a really solid relationship. Thanks for the input. One thing is she is not super touchy not into kissing and touching nearly as much as iam always wonder if the past figures into that but she says that's how shes always been.
Sounds just like my ex....
My ex told me one "I don't dote on men"
She was very promiscuous when she was younger as well.
My ex was also bi polar.
The past figures in to EVERYONE'S present.
The best you can do is to start educating yourself about how your behavior can effect her outcome.
Read "The Rational Male"

I seriously think there's something in her past she has not told you about.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Sounds just like my ex....
My ex told me one "I don't dote on men"
She was very promiscuous when she was younger as well.
My ex was also bi polar.
The past figures in to EVERYONE'S present.
The best you can do is to start educating yourself about how your behavior can effect her outcome.
Read "The Rational Male"

I seriously think there's something in her past she has not told you about.
Very interesting. I will check out the book for sure thanks. Is there some big secret she is hiding still ? Dont know does it figure into her lack of touching but desire for intercourse only?
 

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Not to jump in & interrupt about my own thing, but this is actually very interesting. I had posted something about my husband & his porn addiction& being a sex addict. Has been his whole life, and he's 49... Well, he's also Bipolar/manic depressive. I never thought to connect the two. When we first got together, he was on a bunch of meds for it. But they caused a ppl ot of problems w/ sex. Soon after, he quit taking them & hasn't taken them since bc we have had a great sex life for 11 yrs & don't wanna interfere lol sounds crazy, but we handle his moods ok w/out the meds i suppose...but he's the kind of man that has to have sex/affection/reassurance to feel loved/wanted. Since he's been an addict for so long, it's going to be a long road w/ this..... Any advice? Lol before i legit start considering what our future looks like....
 

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Oh, and also in his younger days he slept with a LOT of women...and I'm his 4th wife...2 of his wives he cheated on...a lot... So yea, definitely something there....
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Not to jump in & interrupt about my own thing, but this is actually very interesting. I had posted something about my husband & his porn addiction& being a sex addict. Has been his whole life, and he's 49... Well, he's also Bipolar/manic depressive. I never thought to connect the two. When we first got together, he was on a bunch of meds for it. But they caused a ppl ot of problems w/ sex. Soon after, he quit taking them & hasn't taken them since bc we have had a great sex life for 11 yrs & don't wanna interfere lol sounds crazy, but we handle his moods ok w/out the meds i suppose...but he's the kind of man that has to have sex/affection/reassurance to feel loved/wanted. Since he's been an addict for so long, it's going to be a long road w/ this..... Any advice? Lol before i legit start considering what our future looks like....

Just look at videos on hypersexuality on YouTube it’s related to bi polar pretty eye opening .
Don’t know what do do about the porn I’m afraid . He needs to quite that’s only messing with his head more think I replied to your topic 🙂
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Women who are promiscuous in their 20's have a very hard time pair bonding with anyone later in life.
No she's not sick of you. She just no idea how to have a correct, stable relationship.
Your wife sounds like my ex. I was married 25 years to her. Divorced a couple years ago. She still cannot form a meaningful relationship with a man.
Was you wife abused as a child?

Was your ex distant at times and also not into touch and kissing ? We have a connection as she says but the touch stuff bugs me a lot at times .
 

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was your ex distant at times and also not into touch and kissing ? We have a connection as she says but the touch stuff bugs me a lot at times .
yes yes yes
"We have a connection"...if you did you would not be here.
You are in love with a ghost. An ideal that is not your wife.
Your wife is not telling you everything.
"touch stuff bugs me"...That's not natural!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
was your ex distant at times and also not into touch and kissing ? We have a connection as she says but the touch stuff bugs me a lot at times .
yes yes yes
"We have a connection"...if you did you would not be here.
You are in love with a ghost. An ideal that is not your wife.
Your wife is not telling you everything.
"touch stuff bugs me"...That's not natural!!!!
Yeah I will find out more . Not sure how much more I can did . The abuse thing I must ask now . Never had that crossed me !
I don’t feel like I’m living with a ideal vision . I was just wondering what other people’s experience is with a wife or significant other with the same issue .
 

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Yeah I will find out more . Not sure how much more I can did . The abuse thing I must ask now . Never had that crossed me !
I don’t feel like I’m living with a ideal vision . I was just wondering what other people’s experience is with a wife or significant other with the same issue .
Every man loves a woman idealistically, it how we are programmed.
It's why they dress up, wear makeup, beautiful hair, etc...
 

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Not to jump in & interrupt about my own thing, but this is actually very interesting. I had posted something about my husband & his porn addiction& being a sex addict. Has been his whole life, and he's 49... Well, he's also Bipolar/manic depressive. I never thought to connect the two. When we first got together, he was on a bunch of meds for it. But they caused a ppl ot of problems w/ sex. Soon after, he quit taking them & hasn't taken them since bc we have had a great sex life for 11 yrs & don't wanna interfere lol sounds crazy, but we handle his moods ok w/out the meds i suppose...but he's the kind of man that has to have sex/affection/reassurance to feel loved/wanted. Since he's been an addict for so long, it's going to be a long road w/ this..... Any advice? Lol before i legit start considering what our future looks like....
My advice is to tell him going to a therapist and getting back on meds are a condition of you staying in this marriage.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Yeah I will find out more . Not sure how much more I can did . The abuse thing I must ask now . Never had that crossed me !
I don’t feel like I’m living with a ideal vision . I was just wondering what other people’s experience is with a wife or significant other with the same issue .
Every man loves a woman idealistically, it how we are programmed.
It's why they dress up, wear makeup, beautiful hair, etc...
I see your point now .
 

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I see your point now .
Pick the right time and place to talk to her about abuse....be empathetic.
I'd bet my car on it, that she has some sort of sex issue in her past.
As bad as this sounds if she's been sexually abused it's time to bail!! You cannot fix that.
My ex was abused by her step father from age 8-12....She's now 50 and a complete disaster.
I nearly died of a heart attack trying to salvage the crap that was my marriage ......I was in love with a ghost.
 
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