[BrandiMichelle]

HELP! We are 22 and 23 and to be honest my husband is a pretty big guy. So for the longest I thought maybe alot of sex may wear him out easily.
The thing is though I'm only asking for sex a couple times a week. I would never cheat on him and he knows that. But he only gives it to me 1 a month, I guess when hes ready to release. But I swear I can't take it. I'm so HORNY ALL THE TIME. And he just does not get it. What do I do?

 

[BrookeT]

Get him to a doctor and see if there is a medical issue that is causing his low drive. It's not normal for an early 20's male to only want sex once a month.

Most men that age would probably be going for it daily, at least.

 

[EleGirl]

Yep get him to a doc. Low hormones have to be check first.

Does he spend any time using porn?

 

[LiamN]

Sure, check with a doctor to see if there is a medical reason, but has he always been this way? If so, it may simply be his libido is simply low. In this situation you should make it clear to him that you have needs to be met. Many couples overcome this problem by introducing someone else into the equation. Seriously, you should consider it..... You are not cheating if your husband agrees to an open sexual relationship - in fact many men get very turned on by this.
Bottom line: you have needs and you deserve to be happy. That is your top priority.

 

[BrandiMichelle]

I've talked to him about it several times and I think he is embarrassed about. But he doesn't make it seem like he "can't" like it won't work, he makes it seem like he just only wants it every once in a while. I just don't feel comfortable bringing someone else into the bedroom because I don't want him to feel inadequate when it comes to pleasing his wife. Getting him to a dr will be a challenge. He's one of those types of guys that loathes the dr. I'm just suffering and we won't let me masturbate so I feel like I'm going to BLOW! Literally. Lol. This is just so confusing.

 

[BrandiMichelle]

I've even considered it being me just overreacting or maybe it's just because I'm young. I feel like I could have sex all day. I just don't know.

 

[Mavash.]

You aren't overreacting. He's NOT normal and there is something causing this.

 

[IndyTMI]

He won't let you masturbate...something is not right here.
I encourage my wife to masturbate, and she likes to watch me as well.

 

[Mavash.]

Yes the no masturbating thing sounds pretty controlling to me. It's all I'm not going to give you sex but just suffer while I do nothing about it.

Right.

 

[EleGirl]

I've talked to him about it several times and I think he is embarrassed about. But he doesn't make it seem like he "can't" like it won't work, he makes it seem like he just only wants it every once in a while. I just don't feel comfortable bringing someone else into the bedroom because I don't want him to feel inadequate when it comes to pleasing his wife. Getting him to a dr will be a challenge. He's one of those types of guys that loathes the dr. I'm just suffering and we won't let me masturbate so I feel like I'm going to BLOW! Literally. Lol. This is just so confusing.

Even if the issue is that he does not want sex often it can be a low hormone issue.

Does he use porn?

 

[Syrum]

I agree with Elegirl.

Do not waste your life away not having sex. It is normal and healthy to have a sex drive.

You will become very resentful over time and it will have serious repercussions in your marriage.


Does he masturbate and use porn? If so he may have an issue there.

His health and weight is a problem. he needs to go to a Dr.

He needs to understand that this is serious.

Sadly many men (and women)do not change unless given a serious ulimatum.

Mine would be- No more porn (If he's using it)
Get healthy together
Go to counseling together
Learn to communicate without embarressment about sexual needs
Make each other feel desired
have regular sex
Get hormones checked and if testosterone is low, start therapy.

I would say these are a must or I will have to leave, because I deserve a regular sex life and to feel wanted. I am to young to stay in a relationship where the man I love acts like he does not sexually desire me, and has no sex drive.

He could also try doing lunges and other things to boost his sex drive.

 

[Maneo]

I assume you have tried to find out what really turns him on so you can use that to try "jump starting" his sex drive more frequently?

 

[SimplyAmorous]

If he has lower Testosterone, he should have other symptoms, like falling asleep after work...just not alot of PEP, some brain fog, more moody....gaining weight does lower it some though.

Is he on any MEDS ? Meds for depression can ZAP his sex drive down to near zero.

Are you sure he is not sneaking to Porn when he is alone?

Was it always like this - did any EVENTS in the past cause STRESS & you suddenly noticed his drive took a dive?

Him not allowing you to masterbate ~ Ok, got real problems there....he thinks it's fine to deny his wife, refuses to go to the Doc to get checked.... then thinks he can control your self Pleasure ....that's a :wtf: argument right there.

You need to stand up and say...."look buddy, I didn't get married to be in a sexless marriage !" You are teetering on it with just 12 times a year.... (Sex Therapists deem 10 times or less a year SEXLESS).

 

[eddy.mitchell]

Get him to a doctor and see if there is a medical issue that is causing his low drive. It's not normal for an early 20's male to only want sex once a month.

:iagree:

 

[MaritimeGuy]

It's not normal for a 23 year old man to only want sex once a month. Telling you not to masturbate is unacceptable. I think you need to be more assertive about your needs in the relationship. If he's dismissing them this early on I question the prospects for this relationship.

 

[Memento]

I've even considered it being me just overreacting or maybe it's just because I'm young. I feel like I could have sex all day. I just don't know.

You are not exaggerating at all. You are both very young and it is not normal for a man that age to want to have sex once a month. Take him to the doctor and check is testosterone levels. His he under additional stress? His is watching porn behind your back?

I had a similar problem with my husband, recently. I wanted to talk, but he felt uncomfortable and dismissed it. Very much like you, I got increasingly frustrated. However, when he was ready to talk, he told me what was bothering him. Besides his low t, he was feeling very stressed at work and having a newborn, made him feel even more under pressure. He also complained that he felt physically tired. I told him that I felt frustrated that I always initiated and that he refused me. I got to a point that I thought I was the problem.He also admitted watching porn once in a while and he said it was easier for him... Since we had a honest conversation with him, we have been having sex almost everyday. :smthumbup: And no porn!

Being able to communicate with your spouse is vital for a couple.

 

[CuddleBug]

He's 23 and you're 22, in the prime of your life's and no kids yet. You should be having sex all the time and if he already has a low sex drive, once a month??? Red Flag!!! You are normal with a healthy sex drive, so it's not you. Get your man to go to a gym, take natural testosterone boosters and he will get a high sex drive, trust me!!! I do this and I'm 39 with a sex drive like when I was in my teens / 20's still. My wife 34 sounds like your man though. She hasn't changed in 13 years of marriage. Will he do the same to you?

 

[BrandiMichelle]

He does not watch porn. And I've tried everything,like offering the back rub and kissing and rubbing a little more than hits back.. but it's like he. doesn't get it. i mean I'm no model but at 5'9 170 pounds and DDDs something should behappening.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[LiamN]

Here is something you could try: set up a movie night and rent an erotic one (such as Eyes Wide Shut or even The Story of O). Tell him you are curious about it and want him to watch it with you. That should get the juices flowing, assuming there really isn't a medical problem.

 

[IsItme71]

for one dont put out the ultimatum that there is no more porn! he will seek that out reguardless, how about letting him atch you pleasuring yourself, or woman handle his member in the shower, be spontanious, do wild and crazy things,thats what us men want, think like a man!!!:smthumbup: