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I posted a few weeks ago about how irresponsible my husband is and have taken all of your advice(except leaving him) and it helped. But now he's just getting under my skin and I feel agitated all the time. I need to know if feeling this way is normal or if it it is my own personal issue. Because if it's my own personality issue, then I am going to have to deal with it no matter who I am with which means I need to quit being so mean to my husband.

My background-I was an only child who's mother worked a lot so I was left alone 90% of my life since age 7. So I am used to a lot of "alone" time. I enjoy time to "create", learn, read etc. and just basically be left alone to concentrate and let my mind follow through with a creative thought processes as I am working. If I get stuck, I research through what I am stuck on and then continue with what I was working on. I am getting NO time to do this since I live and work with my husband.

He finds it funny to see me concentrating and then he purposely interrupts me with some comment, like "hey...you aren't in the middle of something are you"? and then laughs. He does this at home and at work about 10x day no exaggeration. I have told him that this is taking my productivity down to about 50% and THAT costs us money. It also prevents me from ever being able to loose myself in a book or anything to calm down and relax. He will do that 3x to me while I am reading 1 page of a book! Then he laughs because I have re-read the same sentence 3x. I finally just put the book down. He told me he does this because he likes being around me and he is sorry that he requires constant attention. That he just loves me and enjoys my company. The problem...I feel mean for getting angry about it and now I am glaring at him and being rude to him for this most of the day and night. Day after day.

While trying to discuss this with him, he told me about how his mother took custody of him for 1 week when he was a kid and then checked him into the mental part of the hospital. He was diagnosed with ADD, hyperactivity and I don't recall what else. I just learned of this 2 days ago. I guess I could see these diagnoses as a possibility to his behavior but he has an IQ of 123(the average is 98) so I wonder if the behavior is controllable? I don't know. Then today at work, a woman from the local high school stopped in and wanted to know if we could let students job shadow in our shop for 1 hour a day. I told her no. We work on heavy equipment that we take apart and on average weighs 2 tons & it is too big of a liability to have kids around it. Our insurance company doesn't even want customers in the shop area. Well, 2 hours later a different woman calls about the same thing & he told her yes. I went balistic! He has only been open 4 mths, is behind on work. Opened this shop because he didn't like working with others and didn't like people looking over his shoulder. He hates kids. Plus, we were canceled from our first insurance carrier & it was difficult to find another. I had explained all of this to him & emphasized the liability risk and the sue happy world we live in now and he still told her yes. So now he thinks i'm "miss grouchy, negative who hates the world". I told him that I am 8 yrs older than him, have started & owned 4 successful businesses & that "business is business" & he needs to start thinking like a business owner. That I'm not grouchy or hate the world, I just have learned from bad situations and it's reality. However, I know that i am acting grouchy & have been for weeks now due to all of the above mentioned. So....is it me or is it him? Which one of us has issues? Please don't hold back. I need to know if I maybe have issues of needing too much personal space or if this would drive most people nuts?
 

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You both have some issues, in my opinion.

1. He exerts control on your time by purposely disturbing you.
2. You exert control by trying to assert your age and experience as being more important than his.

His behavior is not funny, though he thinks it is. I think it's immaturity and dominating. If I was in your shoes, I'd come up with something equally immature to address it. "I charge a $1 consultation fee that you'll have to pay if you disturb me between these hours." I'd be lighthearted but completely serious.

On the other hand, it's not your own business, so he has authority on those decisions, too. I'd encourage you to find a way to let HIM research whether it's a good idea, and to demonstrate that he's prepared for a worst case scenario. Maybe you could say, "I think it's a cool idea, and I understand why you want to do it, but I my experiences make me fear the worst. Can you show me how you'll be able to ensure a child's safety and get our insurance company's approval so I can support your decision?"
 

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Hahaha omg, Kathy's post is priceless. I would definitely try those.

I would definitely be annoyed at the constant interruptions. It's one thing to spend time together, another to need some alone time to yourself. ADD is hard to live with. Is he on medication to treat it?
 
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