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IMO, a couple hung up on physical appearance are going to have problems. My wife loved me when I went from normal to obese and back again from age 20 to 45. She never said a word. My wife going through four pregnancies has had a lot of changes obviously. I loved her no matter, because she is a beautiful person inside. What happens to OP if she ever needs surgery to deal with BC? Her husband has already poisoned that well with his juvenile hangup about one part of his wife’s anatomy.

Just this old man’s 2 cents
 

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My wife likes watching the show Reacher. She freely admits that she thinks he’s hot. I’m honestly not jealous at all. If I lost some weight, shaved, and got contacts I’d look a lot like him. I’m taller than the actor who plays him. We have a good sex life so why would I worry?

I’m not sure it goes both ways. She’ll ask me from time to time if I think an actress or celebrity is hot and I’ll give an honest answer. I think the question has to come from her though. A few years back we were at the Arnold Classic Expo and if you’ve ever been to one of those shows there are lots of well built women running around. She was lifting at the time and working on her butt. I saw a woman with a particularly good backside and asked her if that’s the look she was going for. She gave me the stink eye and said “never do that again”. I apologized and haven’t.
 

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My wife likes watching the show Reacher. She freely admits that she thinks he’s hot. I’m honestly not jealous at all. If I lost some weight, shaved, and got contacts I’d look a lot like him. I’m taller than the actor who plays him. We have a good sex life so why would I worry?

I’m not sure it goes both ways. She’ll ask me from time to time if I think an actress or celebrity is hot and I’ll give an honest answer. I think the question has to come from her though. A few years back we were at the Arnold Classic Expo and if you’ve ever been to one of those shows there are lots of well built women running around. She was lifting at the time and working on her butt. I saw a woman with a particularly good backside and asked her if that’s the look she was going for. She gave me the stink eye and said “never do that again”. I apologized and haven’t.
Reacher is a good example. The most recent one. We have both read all the books, and W says the same. Doesn't bother me a bit.
 

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Honestly don't know if this is helpful. I apologise if it isn't.

I am also really into women with big boobs. My wife is tall, slim, but has always has larger than average boobs for her frame. Her weight has fluctuated over the years, and her breast size also went up after kids. But she has always liked the attention that her boobs get from guys including me.

She had vaguely talked about getting an uplift after we were finished having kids, but I made it a point never to try and express an opinion on any breast surgery she might want.

However... she has also caught me watching porn on multiple occasions, and while I've watched different types, she always caught me when I was watching big boobs porn. I don't know what happened first, her catching me, or her first talking about an uplift, but I think the uplift talk came first.

Fast forward a few years, and we are now done with kids, and my wife talked again about the uplift, but her thoughts went very quickly from, just an uplift to get them back to "pre-kids", to getting an uplift and maybe some implants, to full on wanting a big boob, boob job.

She has now had the operation and has gone from a DDD cup to a FF cup. They are very big, and hard to miss on her slim body. She often mentions how guys stare at her. Part of me felt guilty because even though I never hinted at her getting big boobs, I worry that she got them because of the porn she saw me looking at.

That said she seems really into them now and likes dressing to show them off.

Actually, now that she has been getting used to them, she has occasionally mentioned that they aren't as big as thought. Part of me thinks she might even eventually want to go bigger.

My wife isn't like most people, so I doubt this is helpful, but your situation rung a few bells, so I thought I'd mention it.
My wife got implants as well. I knew she wanted them while dating. She said she knew I had no problems with her chest, but she was self conscious about them. The implants did wonders for her self confidence. She wears clothes that are a little more sexy. She also wears a bikini top on the beach and sex got better. She went from a small C to DDD and is completely happy with them. She also doesn't have the fake boob look. Many people think all implants look and feel fake, but that isn't true. It all depends on what size and profile of implant used as well as saline or silicone.

But I believe that most women overthink their chest. Most guys don't care about the flaws that women see with their chest. It's about like men losing their hair. Yes, many of us are self conscious. But a vast majority of women don't care

As far as your wife wanting to go bigger, I would advise her against it. Mine became afraid when she heard about implant illness. She talked to a physician (not surgeon) who said that in rare occurrences the body will have an allergic response to the material of the implant. But you would know within 24 hours, not years later. She also said in her experience, most of these implant illness cases are where implants that are far to large were installed. It pinches nerves, cuts blood flow, and stretches muscles which causes a very broad list of symptoms. Also most of the patients she sees are completely convinced they have implant illness because of what they have read online. But most discover their implants are oversized, they have thyroid issues, or naturally declining hormones due to age.
 

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My wife’s best friend from college is a fat girl but according to my wife has really good boobs. A few weeks ago I completed the Wordle of the day and my wife hadn’t yet. I told her “BFF would get this one” because the word was actually her friends new (recently remarried) last name. I look over and she had entered “boobs” as her next guess.
 

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Hi everyone

.....My husband has always been a huge boob lover.

......I recently discovered he'd been secretly watching porn ......It broke me. Lost even more weight because of the stress and I went down to 50kg...... He said "you are almost perfect, all you need is a DD cup". At that moment I was so shocked. And then I started crying and he said it's just a joke. After that I remembered he made "jokes" like this a couple times before.

Now I feel sooooo insecure and I don't even want to be naked around him any more. My desire for him sexually isn't what it was. I feel unwanted and disgusted that he feels he can comment on my body.

.......Am I overreacting? I can't get that comment out of my head and I can't stop thinking about the porn he watched with the big boobed women.
You get to decide what you want to feel. Your husband obviously has hurt you emotionally.

However, as to overreacting, I would say it depends. If you want to end your marriage no you are not. If you want to continue to be married to the father of your children, then I would say yes you are.

I think you are overreacting because you are making changes in the way you treat him that will ultimately destroy the marriage. You are hurt and have every right to be hurt, but you can choose how you respond to that hurt. You are allowing it to reduce the sex and intimacy you have with your husband. You are also making childish comparisons, about his having a belly and not having 6 pack abs. You really need to discuss this as adults tell him that he has hurt you, which he KNOWS, as you have said he no long feels like he can't comment on your body. You need to work it out with him (if you want to continue your marriage) so that you can forgive him and the two of you can move on with your life and include as much sex and intimacy as you both need.

Choose whether or not this is worth divorcing him over, and if not, work on mending the bridges the two have you have built.

Good luck.
 

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@Bea22,

Have you told your husband how much him commenting on your body has hurt you? If you have, what does he say?

I was married to a guy who commented on the imperfections of my body often. At first, I just blew it off. But after several years of this it got to me. Not long before I filed for divorce, one day he started at me about what I needed to fix. I turned to him and told him something like, "You know, I never told you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but you have the flattest ass I've ever seen. Really, you should get an ass lift." His reaction was telling and amusing. He was furious. How on earth could I criticize him like that? He was so hurt. I pointed out to him that he'd been doing stuff like that to me for years, turnabout is fair play. He never got over me insulting his ass.
 

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I agree.

The time to be picky about that kind of stuff is when you’re first getting together. At least for me I wanted someone who I was physically attracted to who was ticking the boxes. I had opportunities with women who were not ticking the boxes and I completely passed them by.

As such, when you’re starting with someone in the wheelhouse of what you like if they change a bit it doesn’t matter because they’re in the same range of what you like.

Case in point my friend was a high level professional fighter and walking around he had a six pack. He has a one pack now. He told me his wife said, “I miss when you had a six pack.” Now keep in mind this guy is still strong AF he can win a pull up competition against guys who are fighting now without even training for it. He doesn’t care his wife said that because he knows he is legit.

So that is kind of how I feel. I am not threatened by my wife going “damn look at that piece of totty” or even getting off on it if she directs enough at me because I think what I offer is still not bad.

Not sure if that makes sense.
I am somewhat like your friend in that if I'm fit and feeling good a small comment wouldn't bother me because I know I'm holding up pretty darn well.

But it might make ne think less of the guy that said it depending in the context and our dynamic. I might have good enough self esteem that I'm not affected but still think he's a douchebag for saying it, which in turn would make him less desirable

I do think OP needs to work on her own self esteem so that douchebag comments don't drive her to avoid eating. That would help a lot. Never let another determine your self esteem, or at least try to minimize the effect.
 

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You get to decide what you want to feel. Your husband obviously has hurt you emotionally.

However, as to overreacting, I would say it depends. If you want to end your marriage no you are not. If you want to continue to be married to the father of your children, then I would say yes you are.

I think you are overreacting because you are making changes in the way you treat him that will ultimately destroy the marriage. You are hurt and have every right to be hurt, but you can choose how you respond to that hurt. You are allowing it to reduce the sex and intimacy you have with your husband. You are also making childish comparisons, about his having a belly and not having 6 pack abs. You really need to discuss this as adults tell him that he has hurt you, which he KNOWS, as you have said he no long feels like he can't comment on your body. You need to work it out with him (if you want to continue your marriage) so that you can forgive him and the two of you can move on with your life and include as much sex and intimacy as you both need.

Choose whether or not this is worth divorcing him over, and if not, work on mending the bridges the two have you have built.

Good luck.
I get what you are saying here. But it really comes down to how much each spouse can take and dish out with each other but understand that it's just joking.

My wife and I can absolutely be brutal with each other, but we laugh and know that we are not serious about what we are saying. One example is after an evening of cooking out with friends and having a lot of drinks, she wants sex. I shamefully couldn't get the flag pole working with all the food and alcohol 😂. She starts laughing and said I guess the sex ship captained by broke **** Popeye has sailed 🤣🤣🤣. I looked at her and said well sailing through the huge waves of that jello rear got me seasick and I wasn't able to get to port 😂😂.
 

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But it might make ne think less of the guy that said it depending in the context and our dynamic.
Yes it depends. This guy is a big time crap talker and he can dish it and take it.

My wife I would never criticize how she looks it is just not happening unless it is something stupid she’s doing on purpose like picking out an ugly outfit to get a reaction. That’s just clothes.

In the RARE occasion she feels suspect about her body I just compliment her because as you suspect I am not stupid (usually).
 
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