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Do I search router web history on the web and then go on a link or do I have to log into the router itself? No if I find out he's watching I'm leaving. I doubt about that
You need to access your router’s admin page from the web. If you go to the make and model you can find instructions for how to do this assuming you have physical access to the device. Most people do not change the default login.

This is a simple generic article that discusses how to do this.

 

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Hey thanks for this. As from a woman's point of view, I was never bothered by my boob size. I've never had that big boobs but it wasn't small. Still isn't. Just mediumish. And it makes me sad because now I have. And I think it's ridiculous. Part of me resent him because he can't accept me as I am.

I've also hinted at getting a boob job done, but honestly, my husband didn't press on it and I don't think id want that. I am happy with my size. Never wanted big boobs. Always preferred small ones even on other woman. I know if I should do this operation, I'm going to regret it. And he will think it's OK that I change myself for him. I just don't think it's something I'll do.

But it is inevitable that mens porn use has an effect on women in general. It's sad actually. And totally based on fantasy. A normal woman can't compete with porn stars.... And frankly I don't want to. It's just hard knowing your life partner/ your soulmate isn't happy with your body. Knowing there's so many big boobed women all over the world. Many say you don't love someone because of looks but men are visual.... And it matter in a way. Can't ignore it and can't unhear what he said. It'll always be imprinted in my mind.
I think it's sad that so many women feel the need to have unnecessary operations just to get bigger boobs.
Please don't go down that route.
 

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I think it's sad that so many women feel the need to have unnecessary operations just to get bigger boobs.
Please don't go down that route.
I believe many women get implants and other surgery for their own vanity, attention seeking. There was a thread on here by man whose wife got her boobs blown up and liked to show off at the beach sans her husband. He was fine with that, so be it.

Personally if my wife had ever mentioned wanting augmentation, I would have asked her who she was wanting to impress, whose attention was she seeking, because it wouldnt have been for me.
 

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We are in marriage counseling. Can see he try but like I said I'll never forget this words.
"I'll never forget his words".

Words are EXTREMELY powerful. Whether said in jest, frustration, or in anger, yes you can forgive them for saying what they said, but sometimes it's hard to let go of and forget. Leaves you always wondering if what they said was what they truly felt.

Just like the thread by solo in coping with infidelity. She made a threat of taking away their child after finding out he was cheating. He still had the OW # in his phone and she was wanting to know possibilities on why he would have it? It was suggested (as one possibility) by a few (myself included) that even though she said what she said in anger that her cheating husband kept the OW # in his phone just in case things didn't work out with her. As it was also pointed out nobody but her husband knows the real reason why he kept the # but she came to TAM searching for possibilities.

So now Bea comes here with a different scenario, but she's shown how powerful words can be and sometimes as the one being on the receiving end of these words you'll never get over hearing them no matter how much the person says they're sorry.

Bea, totally understand where you're coming from on this.
 

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Hey thanks for this. As from a woman's point of view, I was never bothered by my boob size. I've never had that big boobs but it wasn't small. Still isn't. Just mediumish. And it makes me sad because now I have. And I think it's ridiculous. Part of me resent him because he can't accept me as I am.

I've also hinted at getting a boob job done, but honestly, my husband didn't press on it and I don't think id want that. I am happy with my size. Never wanted big boobs. Always preferred small ones even on other woman. I know if I should do this operation, I'm going to regret it. And he will think it's OK that I change myself for him. I just don't think it's something I'll do.

But it is inevitable that mens porn use has an effect on women in general. It's sad actually. And totally based on fantasy. A normal woman can't compete with porn stars.... And frankly I don't want to. It's just hard knowing your life partner/ your soulmate isn't happy with your body. Knowing there's so many big boobed women all over the world. Many say you don't love someone because of looks but men are visual.... And it matter in a way. Can't ignore it and can't unhear what he said. It'll always be imprinted in my mind.
Don't get the boob job, it's so gross. Most men don't like fake boobs, most kids do though.
 

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I'm probably gonna go against the grain here but maybe your husband just has an inappropriate sense of humor? I could see myself saying something like this as a joke. I play around with my GF sometimes and we call each other fat but we don't mean anything by it. If that's the case though, he should take his audience into account and realize that sort of humor just upsets you.
 

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I'm probably gonna go against the grain here but maybe your husband just has an inappropriate sense of humor? I could see myself saying something like this as a joke. I play around with my GF sometimes and we call each other fat but we don't mean anything by it. If that's the case though, he should take his audience into account and realize that sort of humor just upsets you.
Wel my mom died of anorexia and I myself has had an ED and he knows my weight is my insecurity... So I could see anyone else maybe make fun of me of poking at me about this. I think a joke is funny once, but repeatedly making such jokes knowing it's my insecurity is not right for me. But he did felt bad. Every time he did.... But I know if I make the same joke he won't like it at all and sulk for a long time.
But I hear what youre saying
 

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Wel my mom died of anorexia and I myself has had an ED and he knows my weight is my insecurity... So I could see anyone else maybe make fun of me of poking at me about this. I think a joke is funny once, but repeatedly making such jokes knowing it's my insecurity is not right for me. But he did felt bad. Every time he did.... But I know if I make the same joke he won't like it at all and sulk for a long time.
But I hear what youre saying
If you had eating dissorder that type of men is a symptom of your condition. Selfharm. You are with thos insecure little something, because you are unable to love yourself.
It is the typical borderliner-narcissist dynamic.

Nothing that anyone here tels you, will change you or him. You will always be with men that treat you bad, unless you overcome your borderline personality.

It is not about your boob size. I bet there are many more ways he insulsts you and tries to humiliate and to minimize you. And you are too weak to get up and leave this guy, which a healthy woman would have done.

I hope you'll overcole this state of mind and leave.
You both don't have a healthy relationship and it goes deeper then just what he said about the way you look.

You won't believe me, but it doesn't matter.
I assune you are in therapy or gave ever been. If you are not currently, then go back.
Your waitloss isn't just because of a bit stress. You are going back to your Anorexia. It might be you are jumping from one extrem to the other.
Overeating and then starving yourself.

Your Problems are not your boobs. It is the personality dissorder you are suffering from.
If you have ED you have a personality dissorder and you know it. Your case is a psychological case and not a simple marriage advice case.

Good luck.
 

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I don't even want to be naked around him any more. My desire for him sexually isn't what it was.
So your husband by running his mouth has fouled up the marriage. I know once words are spoken they can never be recalled, so Is there anything that he could do or say that would begin healing the relationship? If not, then your resentment will just continue to build, and your declining desire for him will be picked up on. Round and round until the marriage disintegrates.

Am I overreacting? I can't get that comment out of my head and I can't stop thinking about the porn he watched with the big boobed women.
IMO you are NOT overreacting. People who love one another build one another up and would never hurt one another in any way. With words or deeds. Have always found my wife gorgeous and she is well aware of it by words and deeds. The words we speak to one another are affirming.

The question is where to from here for you and your husband. Is there a way back from the brink? Does he fully appreciate the gravity of the situation? That porn is not an option for him from now on? That you have now a zero tolerance for him consuming it?
 

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I'm probably gonna go against the grain here but maybe your husband just has an inappropriate sense of humor? I could see myself saying something like this as a joke. I play around with my GF sometimes and we call each other fat but we don't mean anything by it. If that's the case though, he should take his audience into account and realize that sort of humor just upsets you.
You'd be ok with your gf saying she wished your penis was bigger while she gobbled up huge penis porn?

Genuine question.
 

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You'd be ok with your gf saying she wished your penis was bigger while she gobbled up huge penis porn?

Genuine question.
I don’t have the exact body type my wife likes and I won’t because a large part of it is genetic. If she was rubbing one out to The Rock but she still had gas in the tank for frequent sex it wouldn’t bother me much. In fact I’d probably like it if she could channel some of that back onto me.

Sexual interest from the partner would be the criteria.
 

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I don’t have the exact body type my wife likes and I won’t because a large part of it is genetic. If she was rubbing one out to The Rock but she still had gas in the tank for frequent sex it wouldn’t bother me much. In fact I’d probably like it if she could channel some of that back onto me.

Sexual interest from the partner would be the criteria.
That's interesting to me.

Do you think this is a guy thing....to not care if she preferred something else as long as she's having sex with you?

Does she prefer this other type or is it one of more then one that she likes? Does she like yours too?

I don't know that I have one specific body type I like. My ex and current bf are both tall (bf is 6'3) but that wasn't a criteria for me. I do like his height but I'd be fine with a shorter guy too if I liked him. I prefer some level of fitness but there is a range that's fine with me. So I would be equally happy with different body types in a certain range.
 

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That's interesting to me.

Do you think this is a guy thing....to not care if she preferred something else as long as she's having sex with you?

Does she prefer this other type or is it one of more then one that she likes? Does she like yours too?

I don't know that I have one specific body type I like. My ex and current bf are both tall (bf is 6'3) but that wasn't a criteria for me. I do like his height but I'd be fine with a shorter guy too if I liked him. I prefer some level of fitness but there is a range that's fine with me. So I would be equally happy with different body types in a certain range.
@ccpowerslave didn't say it was ok if his W preferred someone else. Way far off.
 

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Do you think this is a guy thing....to not care if she preferred something else as long as she's having sex with you?
Probably, or it could just be a personality trait. I can easily picture a man being bent out of shape by it.

Does she prefer this other type or is it one of more then one that she likes? Does she like yours too?
She likes bodybuilder type frames with a massive upper body and arms.

I am a large guy, I am 6’4.5” and I’m not small but I’m also not big.

She has never watched boxing with me and gone, “damn look at that guy he’s hot”. The concessions I make are I train heavy arms and also bench press, but I am never going to look like The Rock.

So whether she likes my body or not I don’t know because she never says. She will grab and hang onto my back or arms and she likes feeling muscle so it is in there and she will grab it.

Now with that said I have the same slack with her.

Maybe bringing it back to the OP when I met my wife I think she was a 36C which IMO is chef kiss perfect. She is now a 38D and 2 sizes bigger. I don’t care. Would I be happier if she returned to her earlier figure? I don’t even know because I am happy with how she is now.
 

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@ccpowerslave didn't say it was ok if his W preferred someone else. Way far off.
He implied it with the comment that he didn't have the body type his wife likes because he's not genetically predisposed to it.

I was trying to understand that better and he responded. I think it's a good discussion and relevant to the OP because people have preferences but that doesn't mean they aren't happy with what they have.

Though it does seem like OP's husband has been either a jerk or thoughless about it. There are some things you think but keep to yourself.
 

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It's one thing if he said it one time. We all say things that we don't really mean and apologize for. However it sounds like Bea is saying he's made these same comments numerous times and thus it leaves her feeling like this is how he really feels (what's in his heart). No matter how much he tries to say he's sorry and that he was just kidding she's going to think he really meant it.

Again words are powerful!!
 

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Probably, or it could just be a personality trait. I can easily picture a man being bent out of shape by it.



She likes bodybuilder type frames with a massive upper body and arms.

I am a large guy, I am 6’4.5” and I’m not small but I’m also not big.

She has never watched boxing with me and gone, “damn look at that guy he’s hot”. The concessions I make are I train heavy arms and also bench press, but I am never going to look like The Rock.

So whether she likes my body or not I don’t know because she never says. She will grab and hang onto my back or arms and she likes feeling muscle so it is in there and she will grab it.

Now with that said I have the same slack with her.

Maybe bringing it back to the OP when I met my wife I think she was a 36C which IMO is chef kiss perfect. She is now a 38D and 2 sizes bigger. I don’t care. Would I be happier if she returned to her earlier figure? I don’t even know because I am happy with how she is now.
Makes sense, though i bet you're smart enough to keep that kind of thing to yourself. For me, how I feel about a guy's body is intertwined with how I feel about him in general.

I do really like his height and big shoulders/arms, but If said shoulders and arms were a little smaller that would be fine. Because I love him and he's in the range of what i like I appreciate where he is right now.

I'm not great about verbalizing things either, though I have on occasion mentioned that I thought his body was great. And I have a lot of great sex with him so that should give him a clue.

It seems to me that you are the same wirh your wife, and I've seen the same from many men on this site. Thet might im theory have traits they like (big breasts, long legs, etc) but they're bonded to their wife and are thus happy with her in a range, a little bigger or smaller.

OP doesn't seem to have this with her husband. He's not bonded enough that he's happy with a range....the woman had his child and all he can think about are larger breasts. And of course he has to tell her that and disguise it as "jokes" which makes him kind of a douchebag. And it clearly hasn't occurred to him that he might not be ideal either, but he's probably watching porn with huge boobs and not so toned men.

This is going to be difficult to work with, especially with the porn, which is likely contributing to this detachment.
 

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OP doesn't seem to have this with her husband. He's not bonded enough that he's happy with a range....the woman had his child and all he can think about are larger breasts.
I agree.

The time to be picky about that kind of stuff is when you’re first getting together. At least for me I wanted someone who I was physically attracted to who was ticking the boxes. I had opportunities with women who were not ticking the boxes and I completely passed them by.

As such, when you’re starting with someone in the wheelhouse of what you like if they change a bit it doesn’t matter because they’re in the same range of what you like.

Case in point my friend was a high level professional fighter and walking around he had a six pack. He has a one pack now. He told me his wife said, “I miss when you had a six pack.” Now keep in mind this guy is still strong AF he can win a pull up competition against guys who are fighting now without even training for it. He doesn’t care his wife said that because he knows he is legit.

So that is kind of how I feel. I am not threatened by my wife going “damn look at that piece of totty” or even getting off on it if she directs enough at me because I think what I offer is still not bad.

Not sure if that makes sense.
 

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I agree.

The time to be picky about that kind of stuff is when you’re first getting together. At least for me I wanted someone who I was physically attracted to who was ticking the boxes. I had opportunities with women who were not ticking the boxes and I completely passed them by.

As such, when you’re starting with someone in the wheelhouse of what you like if they change a bit it doesn’t matter because they’re in the same range of what you like.

Case in point my friend was a high level professional fighter and walking around he had a six pack. He has a one pack now. He told me his wife said, “I miss when you had a six pack.” Now keep in mind this guy is still strong AF he can win a pull up competition against guys who are fighting now without even training for it. He doesn’t care his wife said that because he knows he is legit.

So that is kind of how I feel. I am not threatened by my wife going “damn look at that piece of totty” or even getting off on it if she directs enough at me because I think what I offer is still not bad.

Not sure if that makes sense.
To me that makes sense.
 
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