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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone

My husband has always been a huge boob lover. When we started dating is was a 34C and a little more chubby (68kg) and I'm 1.64m tall. He once told me after sex when I was laying down that my body is perfect and he loves every inch of it.

Fast forward 8 years later, I lost weight and look fantastic (53kg). Had a baby in 2017 and is back to my ideal weight. Everyone else says I look good, i feel good, I get compliments etc. My husband has always been very jealous as well. Obviously my boobs aren't as big as it was, but they still look good naked. It's now 32B- which is considered medium.

I recently discovered he'd been secretly watching porn and kept it from me and lied about it since the beginning. It broke me. Lost even more weight because of the stress and I went down to 50kg and I knew it was too skinny but couldn't eat. He told me at that time that he wish my boobs were bigger. He said "you are almost perfect, all you need is a DD cup". At that moment I was so shocked. And then I started crying and he said it's just a joke. After that I remembered he made "jokes" like this a couple times before.

Now I feel sooooo insecure and I don't even want to be naked around him any more. My desire for him sexually isn't what it was. I feel unwanted and disgusted that he feels he can comment on my body. He's not perfect looks wise. He has a bit of a tummy and I like toned guys with a 6 pack but I'll never even say that to him because I know it'll hurt him. I understand you can't be 100% happy with anyone and there will always be stuff you wish you could change.

Am I overreacting? I can't get that comment out of my head and I can't stop thinking about the porn he watched with the big boobed women.
 

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He's an ass and I wouldn't want him touching me, either.

Personally, if my husband EVER even hinted he thought my boobs should be bigger would go right for the jugular "My boobs are smaller than you'd like, your penis is smaller than I'd like. I suppose we should both just get over it."

And, since porn is an issue, maybe go for extra credit and whip out a big dildo and flash him a screen of huge dude porn.

See how he likes it.
 

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Hi everyone

My husband has always been a huge boob lover. When we started dating is was a 34C and a little more chubby (68kg) and I'm 1.64m tall. He once told me after sex when I was laying down that my body is perfect and he loves every inch of it.

Fast forward 8 years later, I lost weight and look fantastic (53kg). Had a baby in 2017 and is back to my ideal weight. Everyone else says I look good, i feel good, I get compliments etc. My husband has always been very jealous as well. Obviously my boobs aren't as big as it was, but they still look good naked. It's now 32B- which is considered medium.

I recently discovered he'd been secretly watching porn and kept it from me and lied about it since the beginning. It broke me. Lost even more weight because of the stress and I went down to 50kg and I knew it was too skinny but couldn't eat. He told me at that time that he wish my boobs were bigger. He said "you are almost perfect, all you need is a DD cup". At that moment I was so shocked. And then I started crying and he said it's just a joke. After that I remembered he made "jokes" like this a couple times before.

Now I feel sooooo insecure and I don't even want to be naked around him any more. My desire for him sexually isn't what it was. I feel unwanted and disgusted that he feels he can comment on my body. He's not perfect looks wise. He has a bit of a tummy and I like toned guys with a 6 pack but I'll never even say that to him because I know it'll hurt him. I understand you can't be 100% happy with anyone and there will always be stuff you wish you could change.

Am I overreacting? I can't get that comment out of my head and I can't stop thinking about the porn he watched with the big boobed women.
Your husband doesn't want a wife, he wants a boob rack.
He wants boobs. The rest of the woman is irrelevant to him.
Of you are thib with vbig boobs, it is easier to focus on the boobs and not the rest of you.

Guys like him have issues. They are scared of women, that is why they wish women with overproportionally thin bodies and unproportionally large boobs and bottoms.

They want sex toys not a human being.
Why do you want to be with a man that tells you, you aren't perfect to him. This is what he is telling you. 'Almost'.
Maybe spent slme time telling him his inperfections. Hide some magazins with sexy men jnder your pillow or somewhere he can easily find them in.

When you are in bed look at him. Pull out obe of the magazins with sexy guys and then look at him and the news paper and tell him, that you wish he would look more like those guys in the magazin.
Ask him, why he hasn't a six pack, why he hasn't more hair on his had, why is voice isn't deeper, his shoulders not broader or why he isn't Chris Hemsworth or who ever you find attracktive
Then get up, pack your things and go.

Honestly, you are a woman. There are hundreds of men outside craving to have sex with you, but there aren't as many women outthere craving to have sex with your husband.not even a friction.

He needs you more then you need him.
 

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It must be tempting to go”tit for tat” and tell him about your preferences since he’s willing to complain about your chest.

It’s stupid and callous for him to suggest going trom a B to DD. That’s not possible without surgery.
 

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Thanks so much 😊✌ haha just wanting advhce how to "get over it". Don't know how
You “get over it” (if there is such a thing) by realizing that he is an a$$ and accepting yourself as perfect the way you are. You don’t need his validation to accept and be happy with your own body. His comments about your boob size are stupid and thoughtless. The words of a moron doesn’t make it true.

Some would say get rid of the negative influence (Him).

I would say MC.
And maybe IC for you to help build your self-confidence around this body-shaming topic.
 
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Honestly don't know if this is helpful. I apologise if it isn't.

I am also really into women with big boobs. My wife is tall, slim, but has always has larger than average boobs for her frame. Her weight has fluctuated over the years, and her breast size also went up after kids. But she has always liked the attention that her boobs get from guys including me.

She had vaguely talked about getting an uplift after we were finished having kids, but I made it a point never to try and express an opinion on any breast surgery she might want.

However... she has also caught me watching porn on multiple occasions, and while I've watched different types, she always caught me when I was watching big boobs porn. I don't know what happened first, her catching me, or her first talking about an uplift, but I think the uplift talk came first.

Fast forward a few years, and we are now done with kids, and my wife talked again about the uplift, but her thoughts went very quickly from, just an uplift to get them back to "pre-kids", to getting an uplift and maybe some implants, to full on wanting a big boob, boob job.

She has now had the operation and has gone from a DDD cup to a FF cup. They are very big, and hard to miss on her slim body. She often mentions how guys stare at her. Part of me felt guilty because even though I never hinted at her getting big boobs, I worry that she got them because of the porn she saw me looking at.

That said she seems really into them now and likes dressing to show them off.

Actually, now that she has been getting used to them, she has occasionally mentioned that they aren't as big as thought. Part of me thinks she might even eventually want to go bigger.

My wife isn't like most people, so I doubt this is helpful, but your situation rung a few bells, so I thought I'd mention it.
 

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Have you asked him to stop the porn? If so has he?
In your place I would have no interest at all in having sex with a man who makes such horrible comments and who makes his obsession worse with porn.
At the very least I would give him the choice between me or the porn.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Honestly don't know if this is helpful. I apologise if it isn't.

I am also really into women with big boobs. My wife is tall, slim, but has always has larger than average boobs for her frame. Her weight has fluctuated over the years, and her breast size also went up after kids. But she has always liked the attention that her boobs get from guys including me.

She had vaguely talked about getting an uplift after we were finished having kids, but I made it a point never to try and express an opinion on any breast surgery she might want.

However... she has also caught me watching porn on multiple occasions, and while I've watched different types, she always caught me when I was watching big boobs porn. I don't know what happened first, her catching me, or her first talking about an uplift, but I think the uplift talk came first.

Fast forward a few years, and we are now done with kids, and my wife talked again about the uplift, but her thoughts went very quickly from, just an uplift to get them back to "pre-kids", to getting an uplift and maybe some implants, to full on wanting a big boob, boob job.

She has now had the operation and has gone from a DDD cup to a FF cup. They are very big, and hard to miss on her slim body. She often mentions how guys stare at her. Part of me felt guilty because even though I never hinted at her getting big boobs, I worry that she got them because of the porn she saw me looking at.

That said she seems really into them now and likes dressing to show them off.

Actually, now that she has been getting used to them, she has occasionally mentioned that they aren't as big as thought. Part of me thinks she might even eventually want to go bigger.

My wife isn't like most people, so I doubt this is helpful, but your situation rung a few bells, so I thought I'd mention it.
Hey thanks for this. As from a woman's point of view, I was never bothered by my boob size. I've never had that big boobs but it wasn't small. Still isn't. Just mediumish. And it makes me sad because now I have. And I think it's ridiculous. Part of me resent him because he can't accept me as I am.

I've also hinted at getting a boob job done, but honestly, my husband didn't press on it and I don't think id want that. I am happy with my size. Never wanted big boobs. Always preferred small ones even on other woman. I know if I should do this operation, I'm going to regret it. And he will think it's OK that I change myself for him. I just don't think it's something I'll do.

But it is inevitable that mens porn use has an effect on women in general. It's sad actually. And totally based on fantasy. A normal woman can't compete with porn stars.... And frankly I don't want to. It's just hard knowing your life partner/ your soulmate isn't happy with your body. Knowing there's so many big boobed women all over the world. Many say you don't love someone because of looks but men are visual.... And it matter in a way. Can't ignore it and can't unhear what he said. It'll always be imprinted in my mind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Have you asked him to stop the porn? If so has he?
In your place I would have no interest at all in having sex with a man who makes such horrible comments and who makes his obsession worse with porn.
At the very least I would give him the choice between me or the porn.
When I found out and confronted him he swear he's going to stop after he saw what it did to me and when I stopped eating. I haven't found anything on his devices since then. It's been 9 months. But just after I found out he made this comment...? So truth is, I'll probably never know if he really stopped.... Will anyone ever truly know? If someone wants to do something they will.... Even if it includes being sneaky and deleting history on the internet
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I think you should consider telling him you'd prefer less of a gut. You don't have to do it in a nasty way....you can do it calmly.

The point is that a little empathy can go a long way and there's value in reminding him that few people are perfect physically and that includes him.
I've promised myself if he ever critize my body again I will show him a pic of Chris Hempsworth and tell him he's almost perfect he should just be built like this man 😂😂 sorry not sorry
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
You “get over it” (if there is such a thing) by realizing that he is an a$$ and accepting yourself as perfect the way you are. You don’t need his validation to accept and be happy with your own body. His comments about your boob size are stupid and thoughtless. The words of a moron doesn’t make it true.

Some would say get rid of the negative influence (Him).

I would say MC.
And maybe IC for you to help build your self-confidence around this body-shaming topic.
We are in marriage counseling. Can see he try but like I said I'll never forget this words.
 

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It's just hard knowing your life partner/ your soulmate isn't happy with your body. Knowing there's so many big boobed women all over the world. Many say you don't love someone because of looks but men are visual.... And it matter in a way. Can't ignore it and can't unhear what he said. It'll always be imprinted in my mind.
This is the sad thing. His thoughtless words have forever damaged your marriage. He shot himself in the foot.
 

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So truth is, I'll probably never know if he really stopped.... Will anyone ever truly know? If someone wants to do something they will.... Even if it includes being sneaky and deleting history on the internet
If you want to have more certainty on many routers by default they’ll have a history of anything visited. Search “router web history”, most people won’t know to scrub that. With that said, if you catch him and he is lying about it and you’re not going to act on that, there’s no point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
If you want to have more certainty on many routers by default they’ll have a history of anything visited. Search “router web history”, most people won’t know to scrub that. With that said, if you catch him and he is lying about it and you’re not going to act on that, there’s no point.
Do I search router web history on the web and then go on a link or do I have to log into the router itself? No if I find out he's watching I'm leaving. I doubt about that
 

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If you were in this situation, feeling badly about yourself etc … but he was just your bf, would you stay with him?
 
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