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My husband and I have been together for 9 years. We let a friend stay with us in our home after Thanksgiving. She was staying with family, and needed to get out of the house of 2 toddler boys of her aunts.
I started to suspect more than a friendship between them when I would come down the stairs and here one leave the room, such as the kitchen, or shift away from each other on the couch. I placed it in the back of my mind, thinking no, my husband would never cheat on me.
I had checked his facebook one day. She had responded to him "You only kissed me once, jk haha" and he responded with "(me) too close." I confronted both of them. She said it was a brotherly kiss on the cheek and she would never kiss him romantically, that it would be gross. I believed it but I did keep my guard up.
She knew that she would be staying at our home for 2 weeks or so, but would only bring a few days worth of clothes. My husband would offer to take her to get more clothes. Their trips were a little longer than picking up clothes, and coming back home. But yet again, I put my thoughts in the back of my mind. He would never cheat.
I confronted my husband about my suspicions. He reassured me nothing was going on between them. He told me I was the only woman he wanted to be with. I would never leave them alone for long periods of time. This did frustrate him to the point of an arguement.
I started to set up a voice recorder in the room when they were left alone. They never admitted to cheating. There were a few comments though that made me wonder.
Of course, she needed to go get more clothes. So I had set up the recorder in the vehicle on Monday.
I was anxious what I would listen to when he got home. I kept my anxiety to myself and took care of our daughter. I had arranged with him to have him and I time earlier in the day, since we don't have date nights anymore. He agreed that we needed our time, so he said he would go to her relative's home, and return so we could spend time together.
He came home, and we had spend time together. We also made love. I had waited until he went to sleep to listen to the recorder. Not even 5 minutes from pulling out of the driveway, he was touching her in the vehicle. 8 minutes into the recording, I couldn't listen anymore. I woke him up and confronted him. I asked him if he touched her in the vehicle. He kept asking me what was I talking about. Everything calmed down and he fell back asleep. I knew I should not have listened to the rest of the recording, but I needed to know what happened. I listened to details of what he wanted to do to her, and where they were going to have sex. They arranged to go to a park near her relative's house. He wanted to have sex in the vehicle, but she said the vehicle was too small. My heart broke even more. I woke him back up and told him that I had recorded them in the vehicle. I woke her up and confronted both of them. He was making excuses and she told me that she didn't have excuses, that she shouldn't have done it. They both professed they were sincerely sorry. I had asked if this was the only time, and my husband responded that it was the one and only time the affair had happened. After my husband following me around the house like a lost puppy for an hour, I told them both to leave.
I called her on Tuesday to find out her side and why. Monday was not the first time. They had sex 2 other times since staying with my husband and I. All of the places they had sex were familiar places we have spent as a family. That was a double stab to my heart.
My husband has shown remorse over the situation. He says it was a mistake, and he will never hurt me again. He continues to tell me he is sorry and has done everything everything I have asked him to do.
I had asked him and her if they were going to tell me. She said she wanted to tell me everything, but never could find the right time. I had mentioned to him if he didn't get caught, it would have continued. My husband did not respond (as he has no filter on his mouth) which usually means yes. I know in my heart that the affair would have not stopped if they were not caught. I feel that their remorse comes from being caught, as they were continuing the affair.
I'm lost at this point. I don't know what to think, or what to do. I don't know if I should trust his remorse. I'm seeking advise and opinions other than my family.
Thank you.
I started to suspect more than a friendship between them when I would come down the stairs and here one leave the room, such as the kitchen, or shift away from each other on the couch. I placed it in the back of my mind, thinking no, my husband would never cheat on me.
I had checked his facebook one day. She had responded to him "You only kissed me once, jk haha" and he responded with "(me) too close." I confronted both of them. She said it was a brotherly kiss on the cheek and she would never kiss him romantically, that it would be gross. I believed it but I did keep my guard up.
She knew that she would be staying at our home for 2 weeks or so, but would only bring a few days worth of clothes. My husband would offer to take her to get more clothes. Their trips were a little longer than picking up clothes, and coming back home. But yet again, I put my thoughts in the back of my mind. He would never cheat.
I confronted my husband about my suspicions. He reassured me nothing was going on between them. He told me I was the only woman he wanted to be with. I would never leave them alone for long periods of time. This did frustrate him to the point of an arguement.
I started to set up a voice recorder in the room when they were left alone. They never admitted to cheating. There were a few comments though that made me wonder.
Of course, she needed to go get more clothes. So I had set up the recorder in the vehicle on Monday.
I was anxious what I would listen to when he got home. I kept my anxiety to myself and took care of our daughter. I had arranged with him to have him and I time earlier in the day, since we don't have date nights anymore. He agreed that we needed our time, so he said he would go to her relative's home, and return so we could spend time together.
He came home, and we had spend time together. We also made love. I had waited until he went to sleep to listen to the recorder. Not even 5 minutes from pulling out of the driveway, he was touching her in the vehicle. 8 minutes into the recording, I couldn't listen anymore. I woke him up and confronted him. I asked him if he touched her in the vehicle. He kept asking me what was I talking about. Everything calmed down and he fell back asleep. I knew I should not have listened to the rest of the recording, but I needed to know what happened. I listened to details of what he wanted to do to her, and where they were going to have sex. They arranged to go to a park near her relative's house. He wanted to have sex in the vehicle, but she said the vehicle was too small. My heart broke even more. I woke him back up and told him that I had recorded them in the vehicle. I woke her up and confronted both of them. He was making excuses and she told me that she didn't have excuses, that she shouldn't have done it. They both professed they were sincerely sorry. I had asked if this was the only time, and my husband responded that it was the one and only time the affair had happened. After my husband following me around the house like a lost puppy for an hour, I told them both to leave.
I called her on Tuesday to find out her side and why. Monday was not the first time. They had sex 2 other times since staying with my husband and I. All of the places they had sex were familiar places we have spent as a family. That was a double stab to my heart.
My husband has shown remorse over the situation. He says it was a mistake, and he will never hurt me again. He continues to tell me he is sorry and has done everything everything I have asked him to do.
I had asked him and her if they were going to tell me. She said she wanted to tell me everything, but never could find the right time. I had mentioned to him if he didn't get caught, it would have continued. My husband did not respond (as he has no filter on his mouth) which usually means yes. I know in my heart that the affair would have not stopped if they were not caught. I feel that their remorse comes from being caught, as they were continuing the affair.
I'm lost at this point. I don't know what to think, or what to do. I don't know if I should trust his remorse. I'm seeking advise and opinions other than my family.
Thank you.
