You have no choice but to pay most of things.Thanks for this. Yeah, this is the kind of information I wanted from those who've gone through more of life than I have.
I'm gathering my partner is not going to like keeping finances separate, at least not if/when there comes a time when she wants me to spend more of what I have on her or foot more of our bills.
But I think it's the easiest thing to do, even with me paying most of our joint expenses. I'd rather pay more and have peace of mind with what I have available for my own saving and financial planning.
Assuming we stick together, we'll likely need further discussions on this b/c she'll need to make sure she's saving for her own retirement; I'm not going to hit 65 and happily keep working because of something frivolous like her wanting to travel more than work in her late 40's and 50's.
She's coming around, I think. I have seen some changes in her behavior. And when she saw I was serious about what I could afford and what I had, her housing expectations got a lot more reasonable.
Still, she has trouble distinguishing between "wants" and "needs" sometimes. I think - like TX Mom said - she's never really had to make tough financial choices in life, because she was on her own and could earn enough to do what she wanted. So when we met, despite having worked for 15 years, she never bought any property, and had very little saved. That was fine for her... but now, having started a family and stopped working... it's a problem for her.