Howdy Eddy,Mostly my insecurities of being able to provide while she stays home and mothers.
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Well, been there. I took on a second part time job. Kind of sucked but we did have our weekends together. Being as such, my W did concentrate on keeping a budget at the market, lights off when no on in the room and being thrifty when spending for odd and ends.Mostly my insecurities of being able to provide while she stays home and mothers.
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Many women are 'this'.
To some extent.
Most women are biologically able, and ready to be a mother.
Whether they enjoy the experience or not.
Admit, to enjoying it.
Most inwardly do. Feeling that life grow within you and then see it emerge, it positively affects the mothering of the baby.
Being a wife?
That is a horse of a different color.
Her emotional color, taint, ain't, may not be ready for that, of course.
Being a wife is not a singular activity.
A women must maintain a home, manage the children, manage and balance her husbands needs.
Oh, and balance her own needs. That she neglects.
A wife must be the mate, the match for her husband, in a positive way for the marriage to be successful.
And do all this without an instruction book.
If the wife had a good mother, who was a good wife, she may have a clue.
If not, many mistakes can be made....and are.
A wife is a cook.
Is a traveling companion.
Is a friend of the husband.
Is a receptacle for his woes and needs.
Is a receptacle for his sperm laden semen.
The duties of a wife and mother often overlap.
And in overlapping the duties become skewed.
A wife cannot be a husbands mother, well, should not be this.
But, often is...this.
By choice, by circumstances.
The husband may need mothering more than is 'proper'.
The boundaries become blurred, when to be a mother, when to be a wife.
Being able to turn off the mother, become the wife in bed.
It is hard, hearing the children cry, scream and cry...
Hearing the husband moan.
The children want this, they want that. They want it, now.
The husband wants, waits impatiently.
One minute mother is cleaning up a big mess.
The next minute she stopping a fight.
The next minute the wife is taking off her clothes so her husband will stop moaning.
The boning begins, the moaning then stops.
Until, the next ten minutes of her long day.
[THM]- Lilith McGarvey, a Fifth Dimensional lady.
Here is the deal. It's very easy for things to go this way and it very often does in a marriage. I myself feel into this situation for many years but not to the point
that it was terrible. If there is any point in your marriage life that it is important to focus on you and your wife it is now. I'm not saying to disregard your
children by any measure. You and your wife need to have the conversation about husband/wife time as well as taking good care of your family. Your wife
may be overloaded like crazy with the needs of young children. This is the part where you step up and give her what ever she needs to be able to do "marriage"
time. Baby sitters, call Mom ....etc etc. Your wife will never know how much you miss your marriage if you don't speak up because she is buried under the kids.
You said providing is your concern. But the title of your thread implies she is neglecting you now that she is a mom. Is that the case? Because part of being a "great mom" is having a strong, happy family. The spouse comes first.Heard understood and acknowledged. She’s had over five years of slack but I’m not counting.
I just keep telling myself I should be lucky to have her in my life and the opportunity to raise our happy son.