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Discussion Starter #1
Please tell me honestly, this question is VERY curious to me...
Do you enjoy it or are you even turned on by your husband asking for sex?

Or do you prefer some flirting/teasing to get you in the mood and more spontaneousness?

For my wife, me asking for sex is an instant turn off for her. Turning her off also makes her back off and then go off at me for not being affectionate with her (not turning her on = not being affectionate in her books), but it seems asking is common in many marriages.

I've known my wife for 7 years now, together for 6, married for 4, and never had to ask for sex. If anything I order her around if I really need her lol
 

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I think him asking is a turn off actually. In the bedroom is the only place where I like to be submissive 90% of the time. It's less of a turn on if he asks and less of a turn on if I initiate.
 

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I find being asked for sex really weird.
It has never happened to me but I am SURE that it would be a turn off.
Sex for me 'just happens' (and often too!!)
 

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I have NEVER asked ANY woman for sex.
Asking for sex is a big turn off for most women.

The seduction process is what turns a woman on initially, whether you are married to her or single and dating.

When you are single , its a fast easy process.

Within marriage ,its a continuous, sometimes difficult,process.
 

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It depends on how the asking is done.

When I get a "baby how about we go to bed" I push him out of the way and race him to the bedroom.

But all his actions are asking for sex in a non verbal way which does it for me, he is romantic, caring, helpful, interested in me and so damn sexy I cannot say no.

We don't have any set ways, sometimes kissing will lead to sex, sometimes talking will lead to sex, it can be a long slow lead up or a desperate rip your clothes off kind of mood.

He doesn't have to second guess my reaction to any way he shows he wants me.
 

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I just find it interesting how many men do it, and on a thread I read that a counsellor even told a husband to ASK for sex... wait wat? A counsellor who believes in asking?

Makes me wonder really if there's an exception to the rule - if perhaps there ARE women who like to be asked before the deed. Never met one myself but there's gotta be some around if even counsellors recommend asking!!
 

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Oh hello again! You found me lol - your thread inspired me to ask this question actually

I'm not so sure about the different beds thing, I still don't see the connection =/
 

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There is less intimacy when sleeping apart and even touching a partner can be an awkward thing outside the bedroom. Without the natural touching in a shared bed the process of having sex is made more difficult.
 

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I assume counselling has touched on rekindling the flame? Are these current dynamics acceptable to both of you?
 

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Nothing beat sex, so trying to have it by asking is just a proof of lack of creativity.
There are infinite ideas to initiate sex so why go lame ? And if you're really not in the mood of going imaginative, make the asking more appealing.

We had a crown that we called the sex crown. Whenever I feel the need, which is pretty always, I just wear it and go naked around the house minding my own business. It made her laugh, and it doesn't always work but at least it's better than just sayng: Can we have sex ?
 

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Depending on how the question was stated.......

Direct: Wanna do it? Doesn't do it for me

Indirect: (whispered in my ear) What would my hot little babe like for dessert? This would definitely get a reaction from me.
 
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ask me for sex? um no.

no one should ask for sex. you ask for a cup of tea.you ask for someone to hand you a magazine. you ask what's for dinner.you do not ask for sex.

in my opinion of course.

asking for sex is lazy to me.if you're too lazy to SHOW me you want sex then I'm too lazy to reply with a yes when you ask me.
 

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asking for sex is lazy to me.if you're too lazy to SHOW me you want sex then I'm too lazy to reply with a yes when you ask me.
What if I walk over to your house with my fly unzipped, would that work?


I think asking for intimate things is kind of creepy. "Hey, can I rub your thigh?"
 
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