Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
121 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Going on 4 months separated. STBXW has moved all crap out months ago, already signed separated agreement, and she is pretty much dead to me (dealing with 180). Only thing i hate is coming home to an empty apartment. I go to the gym regularly and try to stay busy, but that cost money.
I hate being alone, I hate not having someone to come home to after a hards day of work. I find myself rushing or hasting to get back into a relationship and i feel i might make another mistake in moving to quickly into a relationship. I'm 29 btw

Any advice?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
get a dog. or actually, get several. you may think i am kidding, but it will completely change your perspective on life. as far as rushing back into a relationship, go on dates...don't have sex. that gives the ego a boost, but doesn't get anyone hurt. then, come home to the dogs and pretend you are daniel boone living on the frontier. cook for the dogs, etc. im not crazy, ive just been where you are.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,572 Posts
really would love a dog. Always wanted a German Sheppard. Just don't have the money for the upkeep right now :(
I used to feel that way at the beginning, but now I love being alone.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
I am going through this emotion right now of being alone. I hate coming home to an empty place. I struggle with loneliness everyday. I do have a dog which does make it easier. As the song says I wish I could find someone to love me like my dog, unconditional and never leave.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
Loneliness is very sad. I am alone a lot, even when my wife and I were considered to be in good terms. I would go for walks at night, for about an hour or so. By myself, but it was nice to see how everything changes at night. Rigt before the full blast of the hurricane hit my area, i walked a total of 5 or 6 miles. I found myself standing on this bridge and just watching cars whiz by below me. I have never really done that before, and it was remarkable. Even thoug I was alone, I didn't feel it. Thats likely from all the walking I did, it helped my mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
I used to walk alone too before the divorce. I just felt something wasn't right but didn't really know what it was. I also didn't want to believe it. I mean you never think its gonna happen to you. I used to just get in the car and go for drives too, then I would just park somewhere to try to clear my mind. I have never felt so alone before, its one of the hardest things for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
I used to walk alone too before the divorce. I just felt something wasn't right but didn't really know what it was. I also didn't want to believe it. I mean you never think its gonna happen to you. I used to just get in the car and go for drives too, then I would just park somewhere to try to clear my mind. I have never felt so alone before, its one of the hardest things for me.
I am going throug that now as well. I am only 4 days in, and its rough. You have been through a year, and also learn to take the news about him moving on. You should be proud of how strong you have remained. Try to stay interacted with people. If it isn't face to face, try to chat. It should drag your attention away.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
I look strong on the outside but inside I'm just shattered pieces. I used to be a pretty happy go lucky girl..laughing and smiling...I miss that person...others always loved to hear me laugh...he has since remarried and has a baby on the way...although he does contact me from time to time...and it's just so hard for me to tell him no because of how much I love him still....it's so hard for me to let go...its like I fight to hold on and I fight to let go...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
You need to bring that girl back...you can't stop living your life when your most important person isn't there. Thats what thing my wife and I always shared. We don't need eachother, but wanted to be with eachother. I need to remind myself of that. I have broken down today more then a handful of times. Then i pick myself back up. Always make sure you can do that...pick yourself up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
406 Posts
I'm at the point where I am starting to look forward to being alone. Having to see her every day, knowing the outcome, is just too hard. I dont see how I can start to move on with my life without some seperation. Only a few more weeks ...

That said, I'm sure that once I get moved I will start to feel the lonliness of not having my best friend around.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,168 Posts
I look strong on the outside but inside I'm just shattered pieces. I used to be a pretty happy go lucky girl..laughing and smiling...I miss that person...others always loved to hear me laugh...he has since remarried and has a baby on the way...although he does contact me from time to time...and it's just so hard for me to tell him no because of how much I love him still....it's so hard for me to let go...its like I fight to hold on and I fight to let go...
If you dont let it go, it will consume you...I didn't sleep for the first week...I just paced all around the apartment..Even though I try to stay busy, I can't keep it off my mind...the silence is just deafening..the emptiness is everywhere...

Stop talking to him...you are only setting yourself up for more pain..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
I feel for you as well. I'm in the same situation. My WH moved out 4 days ago. Im living in our 3,000 sq ft home by myself and it's so quiet and lonely. My kids are grown and out on their own. I'm lost and confused. I don't know how to act around him. I mean, do I greet him with a simple hello, a hug or kiss, like we've always done? I'm so unmotivated to do anything. I hope things get better for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
I hear ya on this one. when I was going through this stage I spent alot of time lifting and watching movies, reading, playing music, listening to music...

Like others mentioned, try and keep yourself busy. Honestly volunteer somewhere. Get out in the community. Once you're out there meeting people and helping or enjoying yourself it's not so bad. Hell, you'll probably meet some cool people to hang out with every now and then.

I didn't hit bars or sit at home drinking, in fact I avoided all alcohol. I lifted, went on runs, hung out with friends, volunteered at the humane society. Really anything to keep my mind off things. I met some really cool people too and learned something about myself and honestly think I'm a better guy for it.

It'll bounce back, always does OP!
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top