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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm a long time reader of this forum, but first time poster, so here goes!!!

Background:
My wife and I have been in a relationship together for nearly 8 years. We have 2 children (5 and 3). We have overcome alot of rocky / challenging times in the first half of our relationship, mainly due to us both bringing baggage into it initially.

The irony is that in the first few years we fought ALOT, but our sex life was amazing - both in terms of quality and quantity - and she would say the same. Over the last few years (probably 2-3) it has slowly degraded - usual story - 2 small kids, long work hours etc etc. However, our relationship is stronger than ever - we just love each other so much.

To the now:
As the frequency of our intimacy has reduced, I guess the quality began to drop off a little as well.

We are now at a point where I am incredibly premature when we do try it (embarressed!). It has me so anxious and wound up in knots that I sometimes cum without orgasming and often without even getting a proper erection. It's stressing me out big time, and making me feel very inadequate.

My wife is being really supportive and patient as we try and figure out ways of overcoming this - we are both very committed to getting this important part of our relationship back on track. Whilst I'm still very attentive to her needs of stimulation via other techniques, the missing ingredient is becoming a big strain.

I can't bear the thought of losing her if I can't fix the problem - she promises me this wouldn't happen - but I can't get those thoughts out of my head.

I guess it has become a real problem in the past 1-2 months. I don't want it to fester and become a real barrier between us.

I would really appreciate to hear from people who have been through similar circumstances and successfully come out the other side. I know I need to relax more, but I'm finding it so hard!

Feeling quite confused, lost and to be honest - like I'm no longer a real man anymore. :(
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks folks - I appreciate your thoughts.

I actually have found it somewhat therapeutic putting my thoughts down coherently in this posting.

I guess I just need to:
- take the pressure off myself
- focus more on pleasuring her rather than the end game for A-grade sex
- maybe take it out of the bedroom as well, as I'm feeling a bit of negative energy from recent activities in there anyway.

Hopefully in time (and not too long a time), things will fix themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks Waiera.....

We have talked about seeing a doc..... we are trying to work to a bit of a plan.... if we can't fix it between ourselves by the end of December, then we will go and see someone.
 
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