[loveloss]

Me and my husband have been married 4 years. We have a 1 almost 2 year old son together.
My husband went overseas in March 2011, and came back March 2012. Ever since he got back he has changed into a totally different person than the person I married. While I know that he was going to change, I had no idea it'd be this bad. He has severe anger issues, a personality disorder (can't remember the name of it) and PTSD. (Which hes in Therapy for). When he came back from overseas he got put into a WTU (Warrior Transition Unit). Where they go to get help for their issues and so they can transition them back into the Civilian culture! Well its been 7 months since he was put into the WTU. So we lived apart alot the past 2 years.
We got a house in the town that his WTU is in, and he got to live with us, but things are not turning out as I expected. We fight ALL THE TIME, and he throws things at me.
Not to mention, I have anxiety and depression and PTSD also, so I don't think my problems along with his problems mix good lol.
But one day he literally threw a remote control at my head and missed me by 5 inches.
He has had bad thoughts from being overseas of hurting and killing me, which is the MAIN reason he was put in the Warrior Transition Unit, and has to take nightmare medication. Because on his R&R, I woke up gasping for air because he tried to choke me to death in my sleep. (Not on purpose, but he has really bad nightmares and was asleep when he done it). So as far as me feeling safe with him... I don't.
I know I love him to peices, and I want so bad to make US work. But I am really starting to think its not going to happen. We both changed in the last two years. He joined the Military and I had a baby. So his life consist of the Army and my life revolves around my son and family.
He makes me feel like a peice of ****. Like all the time. He has got into a habit of lying to me, hiding stuff from me, doing stuff behind my back that he KNOWS will hurt me... He shows no care, concern or remorse for anything he does. He even insinuated the other night, if I wanted to be with another man its not something he'd want to see but he doesn't know HOW he'd react unless it happened... REALLY? You are my husband and you don't know how you'd react? Try caring for once in your life.... While I do realize he has alot of traumatizing issues, its no reason to make his family feel like **** over it.
He rarely has sex with me and when he does he makes it seem like a chore. I personally think he enjoys masturbating more than being with me but I guess thats what happens when thats all you CAN do for almost 2 years.... I feel rejected, and like he couldn't give a **** less about me! I don't know how much more I can take of this..

This really isn't about advice, I just needed to get it off my back...

 

[Chris Taylor]

Can you two go to counseling in addition to hi going to WTU? It may help with your understanding of what needs to be done during the transition.

BUT... you can't abide by violence in the home. If it isn't helping him, you should seek help for yourself and your child.

 

[unbelievable]

There'd be adjustments to be made if he came home without legs. The difference here is that he can (and likely will) overcome his PTSD. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with but you have to know he didn't ask to have his noodle scrambled and if you had spent two years in the same environment, you might be even more screwed up.
You can't abide or risk his violence. You have a baby to consider. You might see about having him moved back into the barracks until he can get his headspace adjusted enough to live peacefully with his family. You can and probably should spend time with him but in a controlled, safe environment. Screw a bunch of waking up being choked!

 

[wiigirl]

Can you two go to counseling in addition to hi going to WTU? It may help with your understanding of what needs to be done during the transition.

BUT... you can't abide by violence in the home. If it isn't helping him, you should seek help for yourself and your child.

:iagree:

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