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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Say a h tells his w she is beautiful many times in person and via texts and emails but she never tells him he is handsome. She says love you back but never he has handsome. This may sound childish and stupid but should the husband be concerned? He has always been considered attractive. What gives? Mind you, she was never the type to go talking that way even when they were dating. She only said it a hand full of times she they have known each others. But it stupid for the h to wonder what's up?
 

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Mind you, she was never the type to go talking that way even when they were dating.
If somebody's not fulfilling a 'need' you have when you're dating, irrespective of what that need is - DON'T MARRY THEM - and don't whine about it later. Undisclosed expectation of change isn't part of a marriage contract. Neither is an expectation to remain approximately the same - but it's implied.
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Sounds a bit sophomoric to me.

Read up on Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 by Athol Kay
Everything you've been taught about women is wrong.

Beef yourself up with real knowledge. Hit the gym, get fit. Get strong get confident be a man. Fishing for a compliment? Work on you. Let her see other ladies ogle you. Now there's a compliment. She's yours. You're hers.

Earn your compliment.
 

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If she was stingy with the compliments while they were dating, why would he expect them after they were married? If affirmation was important to him he should have married someone else. Does she treat him like she values him? I'd rather have a woman treat me like I was loved than have one who showered me with BS compliments and treated me like furniture. Pay attention to how people act, not what they say. The truth is in their actions.
 

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. . . But it stupid for the h to wonder what's up?
No, it's not stupid for you to wonder what's up.

I guess you have to swallow your pride, and ask for her to appreciate you. I know it's not easy. I fish for compliments all the time from my husband; I always have. He goes along - maybe just out of affection for me - but it still makes me feel better.

All the logical statements that people are making here; that she didn't provide lots of compliments before marriage; so why are you expecting them now? They are right, logically speaking.

But this is the type of issue where "the heart wants what it wants". Maybe this is something you have gradually realized that you need over time?

You've got to tell her it's important to you if you want it.
 

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What's wrong with those two words?
On the assumption that this is a serious question to my flippant comment. Because, when a woman uses these words to describe an eligible man, it is an indication that she doesn't take him seriously. In other words she sees him as childish and not dateable.
MN
 

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On the assumption that this is a serious question to my flippant comment. Because, when a woman uses these words to describe an eligible man, it is an indication that she doesn't take him seriously. In other words she sees him as childish and not dateable.

MN

Really? I have been with guys who I thought were hot/handsome/sexy/cute and adorable. Well I was involved with him, so I didn't (and don't) see him as a child.
 

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My gf could shower me with compliments all week, but a 'look', a touch, pausing for a cuddle and resting her chin on my shoulder are the things that really tell me how she feels about me.
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Say a h tells his w she is beautiful many times in person and via texts and emails but she never tells him he is handsome. She says love you back but never he has handsome. This may sound childish and stupid but should the husband be concerned? He has always been considered attractive. What gives? Mind you, she was never the type to go talking that way even when they were dating. She only said it a hand full of times she they have known each others. But it stupid for the h to wonder what's up?
Truth is.. I was never a GUSHER about my husband -when it comes to looks till I had a rise in my hormones then went a little bat crazy for his body, suddenly he became VERY
TO ME... then It's like everything I took for granted came rushing to the surface.. Poor guy.. I was steam rolling him with compliments.. but I meant it all.. I couldn't shut up...not that he was complaining...

He, on the other hand , has always been complimentary to me.. (I just sucked it up :eek:)... we don't do texts & emails though, it's more an "in person" thing.

I can't say he ever took this personal (back then).. he felt loved by my touch & always wanting to be with him....this was "enough".
I shouldn't have needed hit with a brick
though to be giving back more so on my end.. (He is not the type to ask for this , he'd never have such a conversation with me, this I know)....

It's just A LOT of FUN to get down & FLIRT with each other.. Looking back.. it's something I neglected :(.. but those days are gone !
 

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Really? I have been with guys who I thought were hot/handsome/sexy/cute and adorable. Well I was involved with him, so I didn't (and don't) see him as a child.
And you used those words successfully? It's ok to think them.

I know I have 2 decades on you but the last guy I heard complain about being called cute and adorable was a tad younger than you. He agreed to accept "ruggedly adorable".
MN
 

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On the assumption that this is a serious question to my flippant comment. Because, when a woman uses these words to describe an eligible man, it is an indication that she doesn't take him seriously. In other words she sees him as childish and not dateable.
MN
My wife calls me that all the time. The look in her eyes when she says it is all I need to see.
 
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