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I am looking for advice and I need it from someone not involved. And yes I spoke to my husband about it first. For reference, it is about texts, my husband and his female boss (she is mid 30's and attractive and divorcing), who I will call A. I noticed, what I thought was an odd text from A. I proceeded to look back and noticed others that I found too "friendly". And way too many emoticons
They are as follows: A-Please don't kill me and don't be mad at me, but I have to cancel our meeting. I'm so so sorry. (seems a little less than a professional text, at least to me).
A-Make sure you RSVP for the company party (why text only him about RSVP?).
H-okay
A-I LOVED your joke about the party. You are so funny!
Is it me or do these seem overly friendly? Or are they just fine and our past issues are clouding my judgment? Tell the truth I can handle it :)
 

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They seem overly friendly to me, especially coming from a boss. She has poor boundaries. It doesn't necessarily mean that your husband is encouraging it.

Was the RSVP a group text?

What is your husband texting back? If he is not saying much, he could just be putting up with it for the sake of his job.
 

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I am looking for advice and I need it from someone not involved. And yes I spoke to my husband about it first. For reference, it is about texts, my husband and his female boss (she is mid 30's and attractive and divorcing), who I will call A. I noticed, what I thought was an odd text from A. I proceeded to look back and noticed others that I found too "friendly". And way too many emoticons
They are as follows: A-Please don't kill me and don't be mad at me, but I have to cancel our meeting. I'm so so sorry. (seems a little less than a professional text, at least to me).
A-Make sure you RSVP for the company party (why text only him about RSVP?).
H-okay
A-I LOVED your joke about the party. You are so funny!
Is it me or do these seem overly friendly? Or are they just fine and our past issues are clouding my judgment? Tell the truth I can handle it :)
I literally have hundreds of these kinds of texts from coworkers. None of them are inappropriate.

I cannot speak to what his judgement, or lack thereof is or was. But these on their own are literally nothing.
 

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Depends. We have no idea about the dynamic at your husband's job.

I've always been more professional with text messages but it has gotten a little off the cuff in conversations spoken.
 

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I will add that it could be something on A's side.

Your husband's one response signifies nothing.

She could be a bit too flirty but your husband isn't necessarily buying.

So you know why she is divorcing?
 

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''Please don't kill me or be mad at me...'' lol

Sounds like a teenager texting someone. It's inappropriate mainly because she's in a position of authority over your husband. #mentoo

But ''please don't kill me, etc...'' sounds like your husband isn't entirely innocent in these exchanges.

I'd simply ask him what is meant by the texts and see his reaction? If he gets red in the face, and extremely defensive and starts calling you ''crazy,'' then you know something's up.
 

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It's funny - I work in a conservative finance / law environment. I read your posts and thought "never would my boss text me like that!" - but my boss is also in his 60's and extremely conservative / old school.

Then I thought about my husband - he works in the alcohol industry, with a very different work culture than mine. Texts like the ones you describe are common place in his world. Maybe not from his "boss" but from co-workers and customers.

You know the situation better than any of us. I would say if he isn't hiding these texts, he probably isn't hiding anything more sinister.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
That could be and I hope it is. And he doesn't "seem" to be encouraging them on text, but the "joke" he told was on a phone call. I certainly don't see and shouldn't see all of their exchanges.
 

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They seem overly friendly to me, especially coming from a boss. She has poor boundaries. It doesn't necessarily mean that your husband is encouraging it.

Was the RSVP a group text?

What is your husband texting back? If he is not saying much, he could just be putting up with it for the sake of his job.
The RSVP was texted only to him. I just thought it was strange.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I literally have hundreds of these kinds of texts from coworkers. None of them are inappropriate.

I cannot speak to what his judgement, or lack thereof is or was. But these on their own are literally nothing.
I appreciate your perspective. It is possible that just because I would not send these types of texts to a subordinate doesn't mean there was any ulterior motives behind them.
 

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Nothing is more important to a woman than a man's attention.
She's fishing for his attention in an overt way.

They are not friends, she has motivations beyond co workers.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
It's funny - I work in a conservative finance / law environment. I read your posts and thought "never would my boss text me like that!" - but my boss is also in his 60's and extremely conservative / old school.

Then I thought about my husband - he works in the alcohol industry, with a very different work culture than mine. Texts like the ones you describe are common place in his world. Maybe not from his "boss" but from co-workers and customers.

You know the situation better than any of us. I would say if he isn't hiding these texts, he probably isn't hiding anything more sinister.
No, he isn't hiding texts, but the reality is that I certainly am not there for in person, email, or phone conversations. And I shouldn't have to be. I just thought if my male supervisor would text me in an overly friendly matter, I would take notice. But that doesn't necessarily make it wrong.
 

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No, he isn't hiding texts, but the reality is that I certainly am not there for in person, email, or phone conversations. And I shouldn't have to be. I just thought if my male supervisor would text me in an overly friendly matter, I would take notice. But that doesn't necessarily make it wrong.
Are you invited to the company party? She seems a little too keen that he goes.
I would say that her texts are inappropriate, especially as she is his boss.
 

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You can’t make someone feel the same way about things as you. You and some others see overly friendly, I see a young manager trying to be everyone’s friend. Plus, excessive emojis is common to me for her age group.


You glossed over past issues. No, “it has been suggested“ doesn’t answer the question. What is or are the specific issues or issue triggering you?
 

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