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Bad three-way

12K views 31 replies 26 participants last post by  lifeistooshort 
#1 ·
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
 
#4 ·
A little late for this advice, but being honest a threesome isn't something I'd do once I have strong feelings for someone else. Bringing another woman into the bedroom is on my girlfriend's bucket list, but when we talk about it, there really isn't any scenario where its worth the risk. Fantasy is so different from reality. I really don't think she'd find it hot to actually see me having sex with someone else. I think she'd find it nauseating, I also doubt I could even let go and enjoy myself, because I'd be worried that she was ok with everything that is happening, even if we discussed ground rules before. In a nutshell, if you love your spouse/partner. I don't think its worth the risk. Why potentially ruin a relationship for a one time experience?
 
#6 ·
How many times have we here said that as mentioned...99.99% bringing a third person to a marriage is a bad idea.

From us newer persons to those that have been on this forum for years and much experienced - others reading or lurking - pls note this thread and take to heart what we're sharing;

It's just mostly a very, very, very bad idea.
 
#9 ·
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
First off you devalue yourself, and you witnessed your soon to be ex do the same to you. Now because you devalue her first is why she has issues, because you see her differently, no need to wonder why you state enough in your post.

You broke the ideal, that she was worth so much more, you let it happen. Because of you she'll quite possibly be forever changed, and not for the better.
 
#10 ·
I will say it again and keep saying it. Opening a marriage is the death knell. I have met very few people in my forty plus years of doing this that are mature enough to handle it. You are asking for mind movies and an unfortunate lever in an arguement. Sorry I just have never ever seen this work on any level.
 
#12 · (Edited by Moderator)
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
Could have told you that.
If you are going to have a threesome, only do it with a partner who is expendable.
 
#14 ·
A lot of things in life might seem like a lot of fun in the moment - blowing your life's savings in an indulgent weekend, ax throwing in your living room, or whatever. But lots of "fun" things have consequences and you can't have your cake...

From what you've said, it sounded like you had trouble getting comfortable with it so it sounds like you should have listened to your instincts. But you realize all of this now. You can't undo it or "unsee" what you've seen her do. Or "unhear" what you've heard.

How did it cause a fight? Perhaps if you discuss openly how you feel but do not blame her for "liking it". Is that how the fight happened?
 
#15 · (Edited)
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
Of course.
I would NEVER be ok with someone else having sex with my wife.
I would divorce if she even pushed for this to happen.
Yeah, you ruined your marriage.
Duh.
Divorce, you both earned it.
I wouldn't have ever dated my wife after learning she had ever had a threesome.
Even being willing to do that grosses me out
 
#18 ·
I’m late to this as well, but I do want to say that open relationships can work well. Clearly for the OP, he had no idea the impact this experience would have on him until he tried it. Now he’s tried it and some level of insecurity has been exposed. I don’t think that one must necessarily conclude that open relationships are always a bad idea or marriage killers. I think it highlights that relationships are complex, people have insecurities and perhaps some psychological/emotional issues to work through before it can be successful. There are plenty of examples of couples who are swingers and otherwise have open relationships who have been doing so for decades and it brings them closer together and enhances their relationship. Correlation does NOT equal causation. I think what is happening here is these experiences (when they go wrong), highlight our individual weaknesses that need some therapy/focus to heal/overcome/improve.
 
#19 ·
I’m late to this as well, but I do want to say that open relationships can work well. Clearly for the OP, he had no idea the impact this experience would have on him until he tried it. Now he’s tried it and some level of insecurity has been exposed. I don’t think that one must necessarily conclude that open relationships are always a bad idea or marriage killers. I think it highlights that relationships are complex, people have insecurities and perhaps some psychological/emotional issues to work through before it can be successful. There are plenty of examples of couples who are swingers and otherwise have open relationships who have been doing so for decades and it brings them closer together and enhances their relationship. Correlation does NOT equal causation. I think what is happening here is these experiences (when they go wrong), highlight our individual weaknesses that need some therapy/focus to heal/overcome/improve.
Why is this considered a weakness?

That's a way out from left field statement.

I hope that doesn't apply to different situations:
You got robbed, it was your weakness that allowed yourself to be robbed.
You got hit by a drunk driver, your weakness allowed the drunk to smash into you.
You dog died, your weakness not to be a better pet owner and prevent the dog from dying.

I realize that I am going in an abstract thought process direction here.

It seems a bit odd that someone would suggest that the OP realization that he didn't like his wife getting railed really well from another man, a weakness.

I truly hope you didn't intend it the way I'm interpreting it..
Of course, I could be way off here.
 
#21 · (Edited)
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
What was your wife's reaction to you being with her and another woman?
 
#24 ·
OP's weakness was even considering allowing a 3rd person in the marriage bed. Being upset by it afterword is a strength, IMO. Hope he learned his lesson and won't repeat the bad decision in his next marriage.

Like another poster, I wouldn't have married my husband had he ever participated in a threesome, regardless if it was with 2 women, or 2 men. It is gross and depraved IMO.
 
#27 ·
  1. Ok so me and my wife of ten years decided to have our first threesome. We had both done it previously before we met each other. She wanted two guys and of course I want one with two females. I found A friend because we agreed I choose the male and she chooses the female. So there's no problem there. Everything went ok. Had only a few problems getting going starting off because of being comfortable but once I was then it was fun. We all finished and said goodbye and went home and had really hot sex until sunrise as we usually do every day of the week. I Swear it's a wonder my wife could walk the next day. But when I woke up the next day it hit me hard out of nowhere it seemed. Whenever I would look at her I seen her having sex with him. Or her giving oral to someone else. Not to mention she always had the hottest sounds when she is taken hard. But now I can't stand the thought of it. She never really orgasm harder for either of us, but she did orgasm hard. she did really love it. But...... It caused a huge fight and now I'm sitting alone in a empty house. Sucks. It was saposed to be hot and something new for both of us. Now it has ruined my marriage. I would never recommend it to another couple. If your looking to spice stuff up with your wife then DO NOT BRING ANOTHER PERSON IN YOUR BED!!! Do role-play or public sex.
 
#28 ·
So, you invited a man to your wife's bed. You shared her, she sucked you, she sucked him, you ****ed her, watched her get ****ed, she trusted you enough to orgasm with you, trusted you enough to orgasm in front of you with him and now you're punishing her for fulfilling and enjoying your fantasy? Threesomes didn't do this. You did. The sensuality of a threesome is not an assault on your ability to satisfy your wife, but rather a celebration of your strength and willingness to satisfy her beyond what any one man could accomplish. Threesomes are not simply sex with someone else, but rather threesomes are sex with two. It is a sensual overload that can't be compared to one on one sex. The heightened sensuality it what drove you and your wife through the night until sunrise. Now, because you choose not to understand that it's a celebration not a competition.

We've had many threesomes. It's a privilege to witness her carnal explosions with two cocks, two mouths and four hands. Our joy with each other only deepens. Forgive yourself for punishing her. Celebrate together your courage to indulge.
 
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