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True....

Let's face it....Most guys are ugly as hell....i know a lot of guys...with only two exceptions I can think of, none of the guys I know care one iota about their grooming, their physique, their general appearance, how they smell.....anything.

Sure there are some rough looking women, but at least they seem to care a little more than the guys do.

Maybe that's a perspective from a hetero male, but looking at a lot of these guys walking down the street, and I do wonder if their women are like " yeah. Gimme some of that!!" LOL.
You only know 2 men who give one iota for their personal grooming and hygiene? This is terrifying. One thing I can say for my husband is that his personal grooming and hygiene are top notch. Probably even more so than some women I know. I feel like I know more than a few other men who maintain themselves in that regard.

Either way, I’ve never been made instantly horny by looking at even the most attractive man’s naked physique. You show some titties in a movie and my husband can get a boner. In saying that, seeing a naked woman in a movie usually arouses me more than seeing a naked man too. I have no lesbian fantasies and can honestly say I’ve never been attracted to a woman (although I think many women are beautiful), so I’m not sure what that’s about.
 

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You only know 2 men who give one iota for their personal grooming and hygiene? This is terrifying. One thing I can say for my husband is that his personal grooming and hygiene are top notch. Probably even more so than some women I know. I feel like I know more than a few other men who maintain themselves in that regard.

Either way, I’ve never been made instantly horny by looking at even the most attractive man’s naked physique. You show some titties in a movie and my husband can get a boner. In saying that, seeing a naked woman in a movie usually arouses me more than seeing a naked man too. I have no lesbian fantasies and can honestly say I’ve never been attracted to a woman (although I think many women are beautiful), so I’m not sure what that’s about.
I may have exaggerated, and to be fair, a lot of these guys are blue collar, hard working types...They aren't sitting in desks all day long and work with their hands and bodies.....And my idea of what I am talking about may differ from yours, but I dunno...

As to the second part of your statement, that's basically what I am talking about, when I say most women can get away with not being perfect and still being sexy...
 

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So women as a rule aren’t attracted to gym rats? Biceps, six packs, male endowment, size of his wallet (ok not a physical attribute)? So why do JJ Watt and “the Rock” have such a following?

Maybe they say such, but seriously doubt the truth of their words. When I got in shape more than two decades ago, and am no gym rat, wife took interest in the muscles, still makes appreciative comments.
 

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So women as a rule aren’t attracted to gym rats? Biceps, six packs, male endowment, size of his wallet (ok not a physical attribute)? So why do JJ Watt and “the Rock” have such a following?

Maybe they say such, but seriously doubt the truth of their words. When I got in shape more than two decades ago, and am no gym rat, wife took interest in the muscles, still makes appreciative comments.
There are plenty of men who are good-looking with muscles who come here to complain about wives who don't want to have sex with them.

"Gym rats" might be able to generate interest from women, but muscles and looks alone will never be able to MAINTAIN interest from a woman.
 
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So women as a rule aren’t attracted to gym rats? Biceps, six packs, male endowment, size of his wallet (ok not a physical attribute)? So why do JJ Watt and “the Rock” have such a following?

Maybe they say such, but seriously doubt the truth of their words. When I got in shape more than two decades ago, and am no gym rat, wife took interest in the muscles, still makes appreciative comments.
Many women are attracted to men with a good, fit physique. Most women that I’ve ever talked to about things like this are not actually very into a man with too many muscles though. There’s sort of like a perfect range and somebody who is just too muscly definitely doesn’t do it for me but I definitely like a guy who looks like he works out to a degree. For me it’s not even about the muscles or definition as much as it just shows that he takes care of himself and can be motivated and dedicated to something. Of course there are women out there who love a ton of huge muscles.

I think the thing is that most women don’t instantly get sopping wet and highly aroused just by seeing a guy with a nice body, whatever their personal definition of “nice” is. Some probably do. In contrast, I think many men can easily get erections and be ready to go just by seeing a very physically attractive woman in the nude (and often not even in the nude).
 

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Thanks everyone, I don’t feel as bad now. I just hate that masturbation has been my primary sexual outlet in my marriage. My wife has body image issues yet I tell her all the time how hot I think she is. I was hoping she would have at least offered to help me last night but nope she rolled over and went to sleep. Then again she doesn’t like touching me there anyway.

I guess that’s why I say no sex over bad, as at least I don’t have to feel unwanted during the act. I know my issue is I’m a very good provider, and I have tried being a good lover but she just doesn’t respond, and when we discuss it she says she doesn’t know why.

I just want a woman to desire me in that way, get excited with seeing me naked, and be willing to touch me without feeling like she hates it.
Took me until coming here and receiving a beating from some good people.

How bad do you want to have a woman desire you and get excited to see you? How bad do you want a woman to touch you and like it?


You just said you are a good provider. That's awfully nice of you to keep providing for her to meet her needs. I bet she feels nice and safe and secure jn the life you are providing.


Soooooo...... what happens when you start to take that away? Will she be upset that you are no longer meeting her needs?

Sounds like a GREAT conversation starter about how both her needs and his needs are important in your marriage. You are already at the point that took me DECADES to realize. No sex at all is preferable to bad sex. Sounds like you have nothing to lose - and I mean that. Nothing is rolling over in bed and going to sleep after another day where you provided.
 

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There are plenty of men who are good-looking with muscles who come here to complain about wives who don't want to have sex with them.

"Gym rats" might be able to generate interest from women, but muscles and looks alone will never be able to MAINTAIN interest from a woman.
I get it. Years ago I used to date a really hot girl that was always trying to have sex. The trouble with her was she was about as annoying as a female could possibly get. As attracted to her as I was, eventually I got to where I lost almost all interest just from her personality.
 

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Either way, I’ve never been made instantly horny by looking at even the most attractive man’s naked physique.
Ditto this. While I notice and can appreciate a good-looking man, it's not a sexual appreciation. It's not a "hey I want to jump his bones" thing, it's "hey he looks hawt".

Admittedly I'm not very visual in any aspect of life so I'm the last person who'd be turned on by looks alone but I think there is so much more to sexual arousal for many women.
 

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Discussion Starter · #131 ·
Ditto this. While I notice and can appreciate a good-looking man, it's not a sexual appreciation. It's not a "hey I want to jump his bones" thing, it's "hey he looks hawt".

Admittedly I'm not very visual in any aspect of life so I'm the last person who'd be turned on by looks alone but I think there is so much more to sexual arousal for many women.
In contrast, as a guy, I see an attractive woman at the store and I think "I wonder what she looks like naked or what is she like in bed?"

I think that general idea is also why men are more drawn to porn than women...in general of course. If I want to have some visual fun, I watch some porn and it achieves that goal. I am not necessarily drawn to the looks of the women or anything about them aside from them just having sex.

Probably biological in nature from the very basic instinct of males needing to reproduce.
 

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For me, seeing an attractive-looking man is exciting. I think, "Wow!" My heart rate may go up (especially if I'm seeing him in person instead of a picture). But I don't get aroused. Arousal can come from thinking about sexual situations or fantasies (with or without a visual). Or, of course, if said attractive man makes advances on me. But just seeing a picture of a man, watching a video of a man, or seeing a man in person is not going to arouse me unless I imagine (or experience) him being with me intimately. That's why I can't see how a man can get aroused to the point of orgasm by watching porn unless he's imagining himself with the actress.
 

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I've seen women in person that I found so attractive that I could think of literally nothing else, just how bad I wanted to have sex with them. My heart will race enough that I can feel it pounding in my head.
 

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Discussion Starter · #134 ·
That's why I can't see how a man can get aroused to the point of orgasm by watching porn unless he's imagining himself with the actress.
When I watch porn, its not imagining myself with that woman but that "situation". i.e. sex on a beach or others watching or a threesome. Something I have not done. Thats the fantasy of it. Its not the actual person, its what they are doing. There are guys in the sex scenes but I am not attracted to them nor even really watching them...its the entire scene as a whole...not just the actress.
 

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its the entire scene as a whole...not just the actress.
That is evidently the draw of group sex. One poster in here talked about being on beach with multiple other couples. No swapping, but the sights and sounds were amazing. Another talked about he and his wife doing it with couple they know watching. Not participating, just watching them.

Not our cup of tea, but whatever floats a person's boat.
 

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I gotta chuckle at some of these responses......

So now, ALL guys, even the ones with great bodies/physiques do nothing for the typical woman in terms of arousal...

Years ago, I worked as a doorman/bouncer in a strip club....They would occasionally run these hen parties(bachelorette and just get togethers) where they would have a couple of hotter male strippers come in and they would have a private room...

Let's just put it this way....They were FAR more raunchy and jacked up than most of the bachelor parties we ran...They put the guys to shame, even the conservative looking and older women.... Stuff I saw, I don't even want to talk about it...lol..

So either they were putting on an act, or some of you aint the typical woman, but just to be sure, many women do get aroused at the sight of a nice male specimen.... 😉
 

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When I watch porn, its not imagining myself with that woman but that "situation". i.e. sex on a beach or others watching or a threesome. Something I have not done. Thats the fantasy of it. Its not the actual person, its what they are doing. There are guys in the sex scenes but I am not attracted to them nor even really watching them...its the entire scene as a whole...not just the actress.
It would make me feel better about my husband's previous porn usage, if he felt the way you do. But I think he was aroused by the women themselves. That's why he did searches for "big t*tt*es" and had clips of just those women with no other actors or actresses. And if he was aroused by the women themselves, it's highly unlikely he wasn't thinking/wishing/imagining himself with them. To me that's mental cheating.
 

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I gotta chuckle at some of these responses......

So now, ALL guys, even the ones with great bodies/physiques do nothing for the typical woman in terms of arousal...

Years ago, I worked as a doorman/bouncer in a strip club....They would occasionally run these hen parties(bachelorette and just get togethers) where they would have a couple of hotter male strippers come in and they would have a private room...

Let's just put it this way....They were FAR more raunchy and jacked up than most of the bachelor parties we ran...They put the guys to shame, even the conservative looking and older women.... Stuff I saw, I don't even want to talk about it...lol..

So either they were putting on an act, or some of you aint the typical woman, but just to be sure, many women do get aroused at the sight of a nice male specimen.... 😉
If the male stripper is making eye contact while stripping or dancing or if he makes physical contact with the woman in any way, then that is not simply a visual. The male stripper is making advances (although fake) on the woman, so, of course that would be arousing to her. The same as it is arousing for a female stripper giving attention to a male patron. I was saying that seeing an attractive man from a distance (who is not trying to entice or flirt with me) or seeing a photo or video of an attractive man is not sexually arousing to me. If an attractive man is showing interest in me, then that would be arousing.
 

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I gotta chuckle at some of these responses......

So now, ALL guys, even the ones with great bodies/physiques do nothing for the typical woman in terms of arousal...

Years ago, I worked as a doorman/bouncer in a strip club....They would occasionally run these hen parties(bachelorette and just get togethers) where they would have a couple of hotter male strippers come in and they would have a private room...

Let's just put it this way....They were FAR more raunchy and jacked up than most of the bachelor parties we ran...They put the guys to shame, even the conservative looking and older women.... Stuff I saw, I don't even want to talk about it...lol..

So either they were putting on an act, or some of you aint the typical woman, but just to be sure, many women do get aroused at the sight of a nice male specimen.... 😉
A lot of those guys wear prosthetic....parts in their underwear to seem more endowed than they really are. A friend of mine owns a local dive bar and they host these parties on occasion. Also, you're very right about how the ladies respond to them. Strip clubs with men watching women are often kinda quiet, calm, and we can't touch the women. When male strippers come out, the ladies scream their fool heads off non-stop and a lot of them are straight up having sex right there.
 
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