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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so I am in a much less than lovely long term marriage that I had no intention of leaving, still wobbling on that one but it is getting much worse because of his behavior. My cyber cheating has stopped because of fear on both of our parts, only to add to my depression because I really care for the person that I had only reconnected with from my past. But my H has behaviors that have just gotten worse and worse, he is rude, mean, antisocial, bossy. My family cannot understand why I am still here, even his brother can't. His brother is the only person who really gets to see the real him from the outside. Everyone else thinks that he is a saint, so if I walk away I will be the villian... All of our friends just can't see past that facade that he puts up, he works so much that he does not have to fake it much. I just worry that it is really beginning to hurt out kids now, because he is treating them the way he treats me at times. Otherwise he villifies me in front of them, either way it is awful. But do I take them from their warm home and change the only thing they have ever known. I am scared because I am seeing signs of depression in my oldest child and she almost hides from him, I know he is too hard on her and is awful to her about her weight. So what do I do, Yes I cyber cheated, I admit that, I was wrong, I am very very alone in my life but do I stay for a stable home for my children or do I change their whole life?
 

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abbylee,

Sorry to hear this. I have a fairly strong Christian background but I will tell you that I do not believe that staying for the children is the right thing to do. Kids are not stupid and they know if you (or they) are being mistreated.

Now, without knowing the details of what you say, I would say talk to him, try to get him in counseling and if nothing changes, leave. If it is already physical or emotional abuse, leave NOW.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We are christians also, I have tried so hard to get him into christian counseling, but he will not go. He does not believe that he has any kind of problem. He believes that I am just depressed. I believe that I made a vow before God and that is why I am still here, I think that is the only reason I am still here. And yes I know they know I am being mistreated
 

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Could the cyber cheating have anything to do with his mood getting worse?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
No, the mood has been years in the making and the cyber cheating started in feb and ended in march and was txt only, he knew nothing about it. He is far too involved in his own business and work to pay attention to my txting. The mood has been a long term thing.
 

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Only you can decide what you can bear but do not stay strictly for the kids or because it is the "right" thing to do. The kids will be better off with two separated loving parents than with two that are together but fighting all of the time.

Have you gone to counseling on your own? It might help you dig through some of your own thoughts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I went to counseling until he put his foot down and forbade me from continuing. I got to go about 5 sessions.. It wasn't the money either, we have insurance that covered it.
 
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