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In your opinion is bad\boring sex just as bad as no sex?

By bad I mean one partner isn't interested...no position change...no initiating...just going through the motions to get it done.

Is that just as bad as not having sex at all?
 

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I guess if you always have to have your other half be madly keen and enthusiastic or you arent interested, then dont bother. There will be times when one or both just feel exhausted, ill, tired, sad or whatever. If its a constant month in month out year in year out thing, then something is clearly very wrong in the relationship.
 

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There are a lot of threads in TAM on the subject.

As @Diana7 alludes to there are encounters in any ltr time to time where no one is swinging from the chandeliers but if it happens regularly that's a sign of deeper issues.
 

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I think it's worse than no sex if it's the only sex you get. We all have off days, which is not the issue here. If things get to this point routinely, it's time to move on, IMO.
 

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I can't help but quote my Dad when I was 13 years old. He spent 2 years in South Pacific combat during WW2. "Even 'bad' sex is pretty wonderful". He also said there were no ugly women, just some less beautiful than others. Sorry for the detour.
 

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I can't help but quote my Dad when I was 13 years old. He spent 2 years in South Pacific combat during WW2. "Even 'bad' sex is pretty wonderful". He also said there were no ugly women, just some less beautiful than others. Sorry for the detour.

Ha ha, when I was stationed at Ft Stewart GA the male to female ratio was about 16 to 1. It was about 45 minutes from Savanah and out in the middle of nowhere, so men weren't especially picky.

One guy I knew was dating a woman who was 8 months pregnant by someone else. I will never forget what he told me:

"Life, there are two kinds of standards.....ft Stewart standards and normal standards. After a year here even Frankenstein starts to look pretty good".
 

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I've been holding out on this thread because no matter how bad things are emotionally, the sex is actually pretty good . . . when and if it happens. In other words I have a fair amount of experience with no sex. Much less experience with boring sex.
What Diane has said here is a very good point.
I guess if you always have to have your other half be madly keen and enthusiastic or you aren't interested, then don't bother. There will be times when one or both just feel exhausted, ill, tired, sad or whatever. If its a constant month in month out year in year out thing, then something is clearly very wrong in the relationship.
Mrs. Nail has no problem at all letting me know when she is tired, more interested in her book, ill, more interested in her book, sad, more interested in her book, or whatever, usually more interested in a book. And I'm pretty sure she has made the right choice over boring sex.
I had an interesting encounter with her kindle account over the holidays, but that's a story for another topic.
 

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Bad as in one partner literally isn’t interested and is submitting to use as a masturbation device = semi-rapey and cringe inducing. Much worse than nothing at all.
 

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In your opinion is bad\boring sex just as bad as no sex?
Worse. Even if I orgasm from the bad sex it's not satisfying and I am left still physically frustrated only with added mental and emotional unhappiness to sweeten the suck.

If the uninterested person is going through some temporary high stresses causing their lack of enthusiasm then no the fact they are still making themselves available should appreciated.
If my husband is really tired from working or just isn't feeling well and is willing, but not going to be into it, I decline. I appreciate the offer, and will let him know that, but I'd rather wait until he's able to be into it.

Now, if he's tired from work or not feeling in top shape, but is still into it, then I'll just do all the work.
 

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Sometimes I think she does it just so she can say "we have sex all the time" (1-2x a week average ) but with the least amount of effort she can muster, hoping ill stop initiating. The absolute worst part.... having the solid 10 at gym hit on you constantly, knowing there's nothing you can do.
 

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Sometimes I think she does it just so she can say "we have sex all the time" (1-2x a week average ) but with the least amount of effort she can muster, hoping ill stop initiating. The absolute worst part.... having the solid 10 at gym hit on you constantly, knowing there's nothing you can do.
Ouch ouch and ouch
 

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Sometimes I think she does it just so she can say "we have sex all the time" (1-2x a week average ) but with the least amount of effort she can muster, hoping ill stop initiating. The absolute worst part.... having the solid 10 at gym hit on you constantly, knowing there's nothing you can do.
Of course there is something you can do: file for divorce and then accept the 10's advances.
 
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In your opinion is bad\boring sex just as bad as no sex?

By bad I mean one partner isn't interested...no position change...no initiating...just going through the motions to get it done.

Is that just as bad as not having sex at all?
Man, when I was dating, there was a LOT of lazy sex by men who liked to just lay back and wait.....But now, if you're married, I'd expect a certain amount of lazy but otherwise loving relaxing sex on both sides. Every run can't be a marathon, you know.

If, on the other hand, you're talking about a partner who would just rather not, isn't into you that way anymore, then I agree with others here. Time for a change, maybe. Maybe. Depends on the rest of the marriage and if you've become close in other ways.
 
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