Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
620 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just curious........

I see so many opinions and people giving advice (leave your marriage, see a shrink etc. etc.) on here and many times I think... "damn thats horrible advice"..........

just wondering how many here have followed bad advice and what the outcome was.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,908 Posts
Any advice could be considered "bad" if it doesn't get the results intended. But there's no guarantees that anything attempted is actually going to work. Especially when dealing with relationships and people.

People speak based on their experiences and feelings, which obviously may be different than the next persons. Doesn't mean their advice is bad; they're just offering a different viewpoint that the OP can consider.

C
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,453 Posts
Different opinions can help give us a broader perspective upon which to draw our own conclusions and make decisions. Personally, I would never take the advice of a bunch of strangers, but I would consider their differing viewpoints.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,908 Posts
BTW, what frustrates me is people who get lots of GOOD advice, all consistent, and then they turn around and ignore it to do what they wanted in the first place. And get burned by doing that. That's the posts I don't understand...

Of course, they're doing the same thing... Taking in opinions and ideas, but in the end, it's their life and their decision.

C
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
231 Posts
BTW, what frustrates me is people who get lots of GOOD advice, all consistent, and then they turn around and ignore it to do what they wanted in the first place. And get burned by doing that. That's the posts I don't understand...

Of course, they're doing the same thing... Taking in opinions and ideas, but in the end, it's their life and their decision.

C
I don't think that it is bad advice. I think, too often, posters will come here looking for validation. If you feel that your husband is the anti-Christ almost always you're only going to accept advice that agrees with your perception of your husband. If your wife would be traumatized if you left you are most likely going to go with the advice that you think might avoid that trauma. The thing is that you have to be completely honest about your feelings and recognize when you really only need to vent and when you are open to new ideas, principles.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,453 Posts
BTW, what frustrates me is people who get lots of GOOD advice, all consistent, and then they turn around and ignore it to do what they wanted in the first place. And get burned by doing that. That's the posts I don't understand...

Of course, they're doing the same thing... Taking in opinions and ideas, but in the end, it's their life and their decision.

C
:iagree:

Sometimes people just aren't ready to do what's necessary, I guess. It's easier to give advice, sometimes, than to extract some wisdom from it and make the decision to change our lives.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,785 Posts
It's also difficult because, as anonymous strangers here, we don't know the people asking for advice, or their SO's, so what seems to be good advice to us, may not be good advice at all. What works for one couple may not work for the next.

When I'm given advice I consider how I think my husband would react to it. If I genuinely think he would respond well, or at least in a more positive direction, I'll apply it. If I think it would make him more upset, I don't.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
561 Posts
Well, here's the thing. I have come to this board for advice about a month ago. I was being told, "Don't say anything" and "If I were you, I'd say something". I decided I was going to say something and it backfired. I didn't chose that advice over other advice because 3 people said don't say anything and 6 people said to say something. I chose it because at the time I thought it was the best way to go.

Bottom line --- It wasn't bad advice I took, it was a bad decision I made.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,138 Posts
People get advice all the time from friends, colleagues, relatives, anonymous strangers on the internet. I'm sure whatever advice they hear on TAM, they've probably heard from people outside of TAM. The beauty of TAM is people here give a variety of opinions on a given situation. It's up to the individual to decide what to do with the assortment of advice. Ultimately the person who follows the advice is the one responsible for their life. No one is putting a gun to anyone's head or putting drugs in their drinks to follow advice. Also, people slant their stories in a certain way to get a response. You can tell some edit their backstories a lot, so much so you have to keep asking them more questions to understand the situation. People like that I think are just looking for validation, attention maybe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
187 Posts
I think the anonymity of advice here assures that it will be objective. Nobody here knows anyone else (I think) and nobody's life will likely be affected if someone else's marriage, relationship, or life falls apart ...or by the same token, succeeds wildly. There's no risk, and when there's no risk, the result is usually honesty :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
928 Posts
I think everyone brings their baggage to the advice table here but some do a better job of being objective. Others don't even underdstand the concept of objectivity and that's usually clear in their responses. I think the best thing to do is use the advice to provide some perspective on your situation. In the end you make your own decisions, but you can definately learn some new communication techniques here or begin to understand how your spouse might be feeling. In my case this site has taught me how differently men and women think about sex, marriage and children. I never listen to anyone person in particular. That would be down right dangerous in some cases :rolleyes:
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top