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41 Posts
Hello again guys.... well the last few weeks have been torture...
He was threatning me with an out of country divorce for over a month from Guam and that he would take the kids away because i will not be able to support them unless i agree to his terms which is nothing in writing for me and for my "replacement" to raise our kids so i can go get a job to support myself... since i would not agree, two weeks ago, he calmly and matter of factly told me how i should kill myself because the kids will be better off with him and my "replacement" and nobody would miss me and offered ways to help me (a bottle of wine and some pills since i didnt have the stones to take a knife to myself). I had the divorce papers drawn up by a paralegal the following day and still held on to them... I cant even say why - well yeah i can, even through all of that i stupidly i dont know... had some kind of hope although mentally i knew there was never a possibility of going back.
On Sunday our anniversary he followed me through the house showing me pictures of his "choice" (apparently there was more than one in the running) A 20 year old asian girl - he has an eighteen yo from a previous marriage. He is leaving to be with her at the end of next month in her country and get married (he doesnt know ive filed). I filed the papers on Monday - he still hasnt been served and we are still living together
I am worried about how he will react when he does but even worse..I suddenly feel like the loneliest person on the planet even with 4 kids running around - im sure you guys know what i mean its just not the same. I am drowning in negative emotions and no matter how hard i try to look at the bright side - i cant find it... At 42 soon to be 43 -I feel like i wont be able to make it through this with my head above water. And that what it feels like - like im drowning and i know it and theres nothing i can do about it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
He was threatning me with an out of country divorce for over a month from Guam and that he would take the kids away because i will not be able to support them unless i agree to his terms which is nothing in writing for me and for my "replacement" to raise our kids so i can go get a job to support myself... since i would not agree, two weeks ago, he calmly and matter of factly told me how i should kill myself because the kids will be better off with him and my "replacement" and nobody would miss me and offered ways to help me (a bottle of wine and some pills since i didnt have the stones to take a knife to myself). I had the divorce papers drawn up by a paralegal the following day and still held on to them... I cant even say why - well yeah i can, even through all of that i stupidly i dont know... had some kind of hope although mentally i knew there was never a possibility of going back.
On Sunday our anniversary he followed me through the house showing me pictures of his "choice" (apparently there was more than one in the running) A 20 year old asian girl - he has an eighteen yo from a previous marriage. He is leaving to be with her at the end of next month in her country and get married (he doesnt know ive filed). I filed the papers on Monday - he still hasnt been served and we are still living together
Thanks for letting me vent.