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Discussion Starter #141
Absolutely righteous however. You want to look at other women stripping? Why not your wife?>:)


Watching your wife strip is great but would ya want all those smelly guys reaching in her g string? Not a good retirement.
Best left for home enjoyment.


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Watching your wife strip is great but would ya want all those smelly guys reaching in her g string? Not a good retirement.
Best left for home enjoyment.


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Wouldn't happen here except at home.:smile2:

I have always thought that it would be funny for a guy to go to a club and see his wife or daughter performing.

Whoops! Hahahahahaha!!!>:)
 

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Discussion Starter #144
Setting and enforcing a boundary is not the same as being controlling, issuing ultimatums or having a parent child relationship.



At the end of the day he still gets to make the decision.

@frusdil I am not controlling but as I stated in the first post it is my boundary. It’s up to him to decide. This could be a big changing factor in my life. One I will take on and deal with to the best of my ability. I can and have lived by my choices. I hate being backed into a corner.


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THRD was an extremely jealous person. He would never like or approve his SO or spouse doing this.....ogling. The thought that she enjoyed it would be painful.

Why tempt the devil?

For the same reasons he would not go to these strip clubs himself.

One time while on active duty in the Army, he sat in the car while his buddies went into a strip club. Not because he was a prude, rather because he had pride. He did not want others to think that he felt this behavior was enjoyable. He felt sorry for the women in there, felt some contempt for the men.

When he saw that they were going to spend most of the night in there, he knocked on the window where they were sitting and told them he would be next door at a normal tavern, drinking a beer and watching TV. He would have walked back to base had it been closer!

Naturally, they teased him for not going. He laughed it off.



KB-
 

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Meriam-Webster defines an ultimatum as a “final proposition, condition, or demand
especially : one whose rejection will end negotiations and cause a resort to force or other direct action.”

YourDictionary.com: “The definition of an ultimatum is a demand which, if not met, will end a relationship or otherwise result in some serious consequence. When a woman says to her boyfriend ‘marry me or I am leaving you,’ this is an example of an ultimatum.”

How does a “boundary” not qualify as an ultimatum?
 

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Yeah, pretty much anything other than penetration isn't really sex, and not really full on cheating. Inappropriate, distasteful, maybe even disrespectful, but not actually cheating. And yeah, because of they way they are, I am not worried a bit about things happening and me not finding out.
I call bull**** on that.

I have seen real bachelorette party pictures - not from the internet - of a woman on a hammock with her legs spread and her tits out, with the "stripper" between her legs dry humping her.

I have seen pictures of that same stripper rubbing his speedo-covered **** in a woman's face.

One of these women was about to be married and the other was in a 15+ year relationship with children.

Both of those things are cheating. And inappropriate. And distasteful. And disrespectful.

And again, both are cheating.
 

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Bachelorette parties where male strippers do that? Are you sure you aren’t talking about Dancing Bear porn videos?

Yeah...I have always thought that. There are a few legendary threads around here that I think are bunk and that one is one of them. For those that don't know what it is...my friend Deformed Hubby told me that there is this dancing bear website with women and male strippers....its supposed to be "real" but its all an act and everyone is a paid performer. The videos have been circulating a while and are marketed as "real", and they have been scaring the crap out of men whose wives/girlfriends are going to bachelorette parties. I am not saying a woman wouldn't get ornery with a male stripper, but....I don't think the fairer sex would engage in it nearly as much as men do. They react to strippers much differently than we do.
Plenty of bad **** goes down at bachelorette parties, just the same way that bad **** goes down at bachelor parties.

Here is the recipe: stupid drunk idiots who think that a bachelor/bachelorette party is some kind of limbo where the rules of behavior that constitute cheating doesn't exist, add some "ringleader" types who cajole, pressure, and normalize behavior that is unacceptable, and a "stripper" in a private place that is not a strip club.

You don't think it happens? It happens all the ****ing time. You have the internet, start googling and you'll find plenty of pics and videos of idiots doing this stuff. And it is easy to tell what is staged a "Dancing bear" video and what is real.

Women in particular seem to want to take pictures of each other doing things that will haunt them for the rest of their life, kind of a "mutually assured destruction" practice.
 

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What a timely thread.

My wife and I have very different boundaries on this topic, with mine being very close to yours. We also have very different sexualities and views on sex. Very early on in our dating, I made it clear that I had a deal breaker hard boundary when it comes to sexual contact with people who are not me. So no surprises for her.

My step daughter is getting married in September, and her bachelorette party is at the end of August. It is a destination party where they are renting a condo for several days, and the plan is to be constantly drunk the entire time. Activities include wineries, swim up bars, and strippers at the condo. Several of the women who are attending have a tendency to push boundaries and are flexible with what they consider acceptable sexual interaction while in an exclusive relationship. They are also unable to keep their damned mouths shut about such things, so anything that happens will be a secret for about 2.4 seconds. In short, this is a disaster waiting to happen.

I am not going to harp on my wife, or give warnings and ultimatums before she goes because she's an adult and knows exactly where I stand, and I have to trust her to make the right decisions.
"Strippers at the condo"

I guarantee you that what will go down will be way outside of "stripping" and there is a good chance that it won't be just the males stripping.

See what I bolded there? Big mistake. Warn her. Tell her exactly what's up. Because when the liquor starts flowing, inhibitions go down, peer pressure goes up, rationalization starts, and bad things happen.

And then you have to deal with it rather than preventing it.

Go find some pics on the internet and show her how disgusting these parties get.
 

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@Tomara - not only are you within your rights to enforce this boundary, ultimatum whatever the **** anyone wants to call it - you are smart to tell your fiance exactly how you feel about it.

Nothing good can come from it. At best, nothing untoward happens. At worst it gets completely out of hand.

Prior commenters trotted out the oft-cited, "trust" of your partner to know the line to not cross.

This is exactly how bad **** goes down, because "the line" is moved throughout the night with alcohol, pressure and increasingly lowered inhibitions.

He needs to know your line.

In fact, the more innocent types are the most vulnerable and may often make a bad choice that affects them for the rest of their lives.

***

And by the way, for any readers, I am no prude. I worked in night clubs in my youth that were frequented by strippers.

I ****ed some of those strippers. And in general, in my life, I get it going with the chicks.

But I have never been to a strip club, never wanted to go to one.

I'm not paying anybody to tease me and get me hot and bothered. I find that to be ridiculous.

Because if chicks are getting naked for me, then I want to be rubbing up on them and then ****ing them.

But that's just me.
 

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I don't understand the need for these things.

I mean, most people have been around the block before they get married, so this just seems like a way to justify what is at best inappropriate behavior and at worst cheating.

When I got married I went to a Mexican restaurant with about 10 girlfriends and we all drank and yakked about women stuff (yes, that included husbands...but it was all in good fun).
 

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Nothing good ever happens in a strip club. I have only been to one three times in my 57 years, and the first time was in the Corps and one of my buddies slugged a guy who turned out to be an officer, thankfully nothing further transpired. Second time one of my drunken friends pulled out a camera and took a photo of the stripper and the two bouncers roughed him up. The last time was with a group of couples as the wives were curious as to what went on in one of those joints, and several drunks tried to hit on the ladies. If my pals and I were not sober, we would have been in trouble for breathing the **** out of this group. Commons sense prevailed and we promptly exited the joint. I have absolute no interest in going back to one.
 

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Nothing good ever happens in a strip club. I have only been to one three times in my 57 years, and the first time was in the Corps and one of my buddies slugged a guy who turned out to be an officer, thankfully nothing further transpired. Second time one of my drunken friends pulled out a camera and took a photo of the stripper and the two bouncers roughed him up. The last time was with a group of couples as the wives were curious as to what went on in one of those joints, and several drunks tried to hit on the ladies. If my pals and I were not sober, we would have been in trouble for breathing the **** out of this group. Commons sense prevailed and we promptly exited the joint. I have absolute no interest in going back to one.
The theme of all these stories being when your buddies are drunk, they start ****. When sober, you walk away. I dont know how that's a strip club issue. I know people who I can't hang out with when they drink because something always goes down. Doesn't matter if it's at a strip club or a house party.
 

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Discussion Starter #157 (Edited)
Honesty if G wishes to see naked and get his jollies he can stay home. If he wants to pay a few bucks to see naked then I would love to make a few bucks. We both will enjoy.

But, I still can’t pole dance for him without hurting myself

I stand by my boundary/ ultimatum. I even asked my father his thoughts on the subject and he said he didn’t understand that kind of behavior.

If G want to go for a few cocktails early in the evening I am fine with that. He needs to come home when the boys go out to the strip club.


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OP, personally, I’m offended he is even considering going. If he knows your history, and loves and respects you, why would this even be a consideration?

When his son mentioned it, he should have told him right then he would not be attending this, no discussion...He should have told him that he knows it would hurt you, and he would never do that intentionally. End of story!

You say you have been together for 4 years, and have a great relationship. He already knows exactly how you feel about this stuff. Why not be a man and just make the right decision here, without dragging you into it? Does he need to justify to his son that his future wife won’t approve? Absurd!

Shame on him that this was even a discussion with you. The only thing he should have said to you about it, should have been IF you inquired, “Baby of course I told him I’m not going to a strip club, I would never do that to you.”

If he is a man that wants to go to this, is he the man for you?
 

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Back in the late 80's early 90's when male reviews were popular, I was part of a community group and on the Ladies Artillery. :) It was our job to hold fund-raisers throughout the year to support the men and women in the department.

At one point we started holding male reviews in our main hall because they were really good money-makers. The guys were not overly pleased with that choice of fund-raiser, but it was fun as hell. I ain't gonna lie.

But here's the truth - these women turn into animals. I'm not kidding. Animals. The dancers have always told us that women grab their privates, offer them sex all the time, and all kinds of things. I saw the grabbing first hand during the shows and I saw women whispering in their ears and coming onto them as well.

One night in particular, at the end of the night around midnight, there were even more horror stories. My then-husband walked into the mens room to go to the urinal and he saw one of the stalls was occupied. All he could see was the bottom half of a woman on her knees (and the bottoms of her high heels) and some guy's bare feet in front of her knees (he was obviously standing in front of the woman). Gah.

Secondly, a drunk woman and one of the strippers had to be pulled off the pool table back in the guy's lounge, and told to go get a room somewhere else.

Lastly, more than a few women got into trouble when their friends were foolish enough to bring cameras and ended up taking pictures of the 'fun,' getting pictures of their friends in compromising positions with the dancers. Some were completely innocent and the pictures were just funny because you could clearly see that the dancer was just funnin' on them, but some of the other pictures were not so innocent or goofy. More than one wife got in hot water and that's all I'm going to say about that. :surprise:
 
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