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Discussion Starter #201
I found out about the truth of what happened during the bachelor party in regards to the strip club. I am satisfied that he did not break my trust nor ignore my boundaries.


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I think this is a great answer.

Clearly you and he view things like strip clubs differently - and that may apply to a wide range of things. Why set your self up for misery - end it and each find someone compatible.


My take: as much as you both love each other, it looks like you are not compatible. This is a big think in a relationship, and in the long run it will eventually make you both fail.

It looks like to him going to a a strip joint it's not a big thing, because honestly, most men don't go there because they think they will get anything, it's just a male environment, except for the percentage of sick puppies that actually go there to try to get some/mentally masturbate. But to you due to your previous experiences all men are like that/will do what what's done to you and that's your dealbreaker, but it looks like he is/will eventually resent you for it because your are telling him what he can/can't do. This does not bodes well for the relationship.

There's not right or wrong just Imcompatibility. Just for the record I hate going to a strip joint. It makes me feel stupid being there, but I've been there a few times in my life, but thankfully, it's been a few decades for me since the last time.
 

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I found out about the truth of what happened during the bachelor party in regards to the strip club. I am satisfied that he did not break my trust nor ignore my boundaries.


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Well done.

I wish you a long and very happy marriage.
 

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I found out about the truth of what happened during the bachelor party in regards to the strip club. I am satisfied that he did not break my trust nor ignore my boundaries.


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Then, l will say this for future opportunities in your marriage... I will say, do not draw ultimatum's that you think you can bluff him. Boundaries of course. But you have to have the strength to do this. I am just saying, in a lot of marriages l see the weakest woman, is the one who say that will never happen to me and says in front of her friends I'll never back down. But in the end as so many do they back down.

I am not saying you are doing this but be wise not to.
 

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Discussion Starter #207
There was no backing down on my part. Before I got the whole picture / story Saturday I had pretty much told him if he wanted to act single then stay single, the wedding was canceled. He apologized several times for not sending me a text to let me know he was okay. So, wedding or not, he knows that it can’t happen again (the no text crap an no bachelor parties ever again.)

If he chooses to participate in infantile behavior, he will be single doing it.




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My fiancé’s son will be getting married soon. My fiancé casually stated something about visiting strip clubs might be on the agenda for his sons party. Not that he would be the one taking everyone but would be there if it happened.

Without missing a beat, I said that was a hard NO for me and our relationship. He knows how my relationship with my ex was so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I feel this way.

I explained that it was his choice to make. If he goes then there will be no marriage for us in December.

Am I just being a ***** about it or should I find a way to accept it if I could????




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Idk why bachelor parties are so common is the US, but that would be a dealbrraker for me.

If my partner prefers to risk my piece of mind and our relationship so he can go to a party, then he is not relationship material. He is already going to the wedding party and that should be enough, after all.
 
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