[TheLoveInside748]

Hello all, I have not written on here since my first separation. But all your advice before helped me out and i really hope i can get some insight on my current situation. I know i am not the only person in the world this has happened to and i really hope i can talk to many about their experiences and advice on this... Here is goes...
My husband and i split 2 1/2 years ago. We have had our "lets get back together" moments but none were really sincere. Till now. We sat down finally and finally had a long conversation about our future whether it was with each other or not. We both decided we had grown and and it was time to fix our marriage and piece our family back together.( we married way too young and immaturely) So this is where we are, together.. piecing it together...one problem...
When he left me, he left for another woman. Someone from his past. A year ago, he told me she was pregnant and that he was completely upset that it happened. But that there was nothing he could do but accept he had a child on the way, which of course devastated me...When he asked me about him coming home, he asked if i could accept the fact i would have a step daughter and that i would help him raise her as my own, as our own but having his ex still in our lives for the sole purpose of the baby. Nothing else.. It was a hard decision bc i feel i should have just walked but i love this man and i have brought myself to realize that i can help raise her together with him.
What i am asking is..... Has anyone had this type of thing happen? How did you handle this? How hard is it? I know i dont want to walk but that baby did nothing wrong and it is not her fault by any means that this happened. I am a forgiving person, and believe i can get passed this, just need a lil advice/help along the way.
Thank you for listening and if you have had this situation before or have this situation, please help me? Even if you just have advice, please? Thank you

 

[fivewastedyears]

Hi. I am sorry your dealing with this and know how hard it can be.
I havent been through it but my best friend has so it sure felt like I did. In her case, her husband left and ended up moving with the OW (a stripper). When he reconciled with my gf after about a year and a half, the stripper ran off and they were left to raise the boy who was 1 at the time. It was really hard for her at first, she cried and cried, and prayed and prayed, but that little boy is her son now in her heart and he calls her mommy he doesnt know she isnt his mom but he is only 5. This situation is different because the mom has not been heard from since and I really believe that helped my gf deal with the situation because she didnt have to deal with her. I suppose if the OW has accepted the fact that their relationship is over and it is just about the child and she is mature, with time , patience and lots of love and understanding from your husband, you can work it out

 

[Tinkerbell24]

No. But I can sympathise with the "married too young" part. We are in the process of reconciling after being apart for 15 months. Good luck to you, I hope everything works out for you two.

 

[Michael A. Brown]

Having a separated parents is really a big burden for a child. It is really important for parents to make sure that their relationship will last long.

 

[TheLoveInside748]

Having a separated parents is really a big burden for a child. It is really important for parents to make sure that their relationship will last long.

It is really hard having separated parents. I couldnt agree more. I have watched my children go thru it and that is why we decided to reconcile. But mistakes happen and this baby is in the middle. I will accept her and i know it will be hard knowing she really isnt mine. When we first married, at 18, we told each other we didnt want to end up like our parents. Both of us were raised by single mothers with multiple children. But the fact we were immature and never really thought of the consequences of marriage and what is needed in a marriage is why we split. Now realizing this, we are going to make it work. Thank you for commenting and yes i completely agree having parents apart is one of the hardest and emotionally draining on a child.

 

[TheLoveInside748]

No. But I can sympathise with the "married too young" part. We are in the process of reconciling after being apart for 15 months. Good luck to you, I hope everything works out for you two.

Thank you. I hope all will be well. Good luck to you as well. It maybe a long and draining process but ive learned, if you really want something, dont give up. Its within arms reach. Hope all works out with you too.

 

[TheLoveInside748]

Hi. I am sorry your dealing with this and know how hard it can be.
I havent been through it but my best friend has so it sure felt like I did. In her case, her husband left and ended up moving with the OW (a stripper). When he reconciled with my gf after about a year and a half, the stripper ran off and they were left to raise the boy who was 1 at the time. It was really hard for her at first, she cried and cried, and prayed and prayed, but that little boy is her son now in her heart and he calls her mommy he doesnt know she isnt his mom but he is only 5. This situation is different because the mom has not been heard from since and I really believe that helped my gf deal with the situation because she didnt have to deal with her. I suppose if the OW has accepted the fact that their relationship is over and it is just about the child and she is mature, with time , patience and lots of love and understanding from your husband, you can work it out

Thank you. Only time will tell and your response gives me hope that i can do this.

 

[1lostintranslation]

Oh hunny. First things first it is wonderful and a huge asset that you are willing to take on the OW's child. This will require a lot out of you. I haven't had this happen to me. However this happened to my brother and his wife. He is military. They married very young, 19 yrs old. He had just joined the military and was gone lots, and they kept separating. During that time they had a LO, and then 2 yrs later she got pregnant with someone else's child, then fast forward another yr HE got someone pregnant. Needless to say a tad bit different than your situation however i can say my sister in law had a much harder time accepting the child he created than the other way around. They are now divorcing...much too much damage done. However if you TWO are committed to working through this and you believe this is where you are suppose to be and your husband is committed to doing whatever it takes to make the situation right then go for it. Like I said before it will require much from you....and say lots of prayers. Your mind will be your biggest enemy