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Discussion Starter #1
So there were some great conversations happening on another thread but unfortunately, they weren't really about the thread.

Let's discuss them here.

One topic being discussed was the difference between men and women where being attracted to looks is concerned.

I don't really believe there is much of a difference between genders and have found women to be just as susceptible to a good looking guy as a man is to a good looking woman.

@LisaDiane started this great topic on the other thread.

There were also good discussions about certain people attracting certain types.

@oldshirt had some valid points that were generating discussions.

Please invite anyone currently thread jacking the other thread with great topics to continue here.

Sometimes a thread jack becomes too intriguing to ignore and more interesting than the original post.
 

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For myself, there has to be some chemistry and initial attraction, but I was rarely interested in a very good looking man. Not sure why. For me its a mans character and integrity and values that makes him attractive or not to me. I could have the most good looking man ever but if he didnt have these things I would have no interest at all.
I do think, after being on this board for a while now, that some men do go after a woman for her looks alone and that often leads to a disaster because looks are never enough on their own.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
For myself, there has to be some chemistry and initial attraction, but I was rarely interested in a very good looking man. Not sure why. For me its a mans character and integrity and values that makes him attractive or not to me. I could have the most good looking man ever but if he didnt have these things I would have no interest at all.
I do think, after being on this board for a while now, that some men do go after a woman for her looks alone and that often leads to a disaster because looks are never enough on their own.
I've seen a lot of women behave the exact same way towards good looking men.

I really don't think gender factors in much difference at all.
Women as a whole are no less immune to shiny objects than men.

I know individuals are different and you haven't been drawn to looks but that is an individual trait that men can have as well.

I've known plenty of women along with men who have been immediately attracted to lookers and they didn't need anything else to try and start some sort of relationship with them.

I'm not promoting that behavior BTW. I've seen it usually doesn't go anywhere long lasting or worth while.
 

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I also agree that women do not really respond much differently to a really good looking man than men do to good looking women.

The main difference is there are very few beautiful men in the world. Men simply aren’t as visually appealing as women.

In nature, it is the boys that are pretty with their antlers and their names and their bright plummage and colors and the females are plain (that is so the predators see and eat the males and not the females in the nest with the babies, so beauty does have its drawbacks)

But in humans, the males are plain and the females are pretty. For most males their value is in the utility and labor and not their looks or genetic stock.

Very good looking men are rare but for the ones that do exist, they are hit on and approached and have much of the same options and opportunities as good looking women.

Most men find most healthy, fertile women attractive or at least attractive ‘enough.’

Where as most women only find a very select few men attractive at all and even fewer as beautiful.

When they do encounter a man they find highly attractive, they are just as sexually charged and adventurous as men.... perhaps even more so because there’s no “Me Too” movement or sexual harassment issues with women being assertive.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I also agree that women do not really respond much differently to a really good looking man than men do to good looking women.

The main difference is there are very few beautiful men in the world. Men simply aren’t as visually appealing as women.

In nature, it is the boys that are pretty with their antlers and their names and their bright plummage and colors and the females are plain (that is so the predators see and eat the males and not the females in the nest with the babies, so beauty does have its drawbacks)

But in humans, the males are plain and the females are pretty. For most males their value is in the utility and labor and not their looks or genetic stock.

Very good looking men are rare but for the ones that do exist, they are hit on and approached and have much of the same options and opportunities as good looking women.

Most men find most healthy, fertile women attractive or at least attractive ‘enough.’

Where as most women only find a very select few men attractive at all and even fewer as beautiful.

When they do encounter a man they find highly attractive, they are just as sexually charged and adventurous as men.... perhaps even more so because there’s no “Me Too” movement or sexual harassment issues with women being assertive.
I will differ in opinion about just how many women like a guy for his looks right off the bat.

I've been allowed in girl friend groups and been privy to their thoughts, conversations and actions and there is a lot of hunting and competition among them. A large number of women actually find quite a few guys at least cute and worth a flirt.

I've known many women who were very hungry for male attention and were attracted to quite a few men who were maybe average to just above in the looks department.

Of those women, a large percentage were willing to have sex pretty quickly with those guys to either attract them or try them out. They also were not able to get a guy's attention all that often either or have them go for them sexually near as often as they would have liked and definitely not as much as flawed studies seem to indicate.
 

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Just visually I can appreciate/recognize an attractive person, male or female. At that point I can say that it is purely objective, but I'm sure that it is influenced by my own visual history, such as the Playmate trope. For a more subjective attraction I need to have that interaction beyond just the visual, because then it becomes about me as well... how I view myself,what my expectations are etc.
 

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That's a pretty bad interpretation of the conversation. All that was really said over and over and over was that all men are dogs.
 

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I am very attracted to good looks. However, that often doesn't last beyond speaking to that person (or observing their behavior) - if I ever even talk to them. Personality and attitude matter a lot to me, and I wouldn't have sex with someone if I can't see myself at least liking them. That said, I've sometimes become attracted to someone if their personality really works for me - as long as I'm not actually put off by their appearance.
 

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I have seen the prettiest woman turn from princess to detritus in how I perceive her just after opening her mouth (or my ex-wife the moment I discovered her true character she kept so carefully hidden).

Inversely I have seen a rather plain Jane sparkle after a short amount of interaction.

There is no denying that a physically attractive woman would draw my glance first (I am only human), but character and integrity will keep it.

I think our brains raise and lower the perceived attractiveness of a person based upon the bond we form with them.
 

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I will differ in opinion about just how many women like a guy for his looks right off the bat.

I've been allowed in girl friend groups and been privy to their thoughts, conversations and actions and there is a lot of hunting and competition among them. A large number of women actually find quite a few guys at least cute and worth a flirt.

I've known many women who were very hungry for male attention and were attracted to quite a few men who were maybe average to just above in the looks department.

Of those women, a large percentage were willing to have sex pretty quickly with those guys to either attract them or try them out. They also were not able to get a guy's attention all that often either or have them go for them sexually near as often as they would have liked and definitely not as much as flawed studies seem to indicate.
Right I get that. The thing is a lot of other traits and characteristics go into into a woman’s attraction and desire besides looks and many women are willing to fudge a little on looks if a guy has other characteristics that she values.

But throw in a Calvin Klein underwear model or Chippendale and a woman is going to go gaw-gaw just as much as a man would for a good looking woman.

It’s just that there are only a few underwear models or chippendales out there, so if a woman wants to be partnered, she’s either going to have to settle for a more normal looking guy or wait her turn for the Chippendale.
 

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I've seen a lot of women behave the exact same way towards good looking men.

I really don't think gender factors in much difference at all.
Women as a whole are no less immune to shiny objects than men.

I know individuals are different and you haven't been drawn to looks but that is an individual trait that men can have as well.

I've known plenty of women along with men who have been immediately attracted to lookers and they didn't need anything else to try and start some sort of relationship with them.

I'm not promoting that behavior BTW. I've seen it usually doesn't go anywhere long lasting or worth while.
I have also seen nice looking women attracted to men who were pretty plain, its the way men treat the partners and their character that seem to make or break a relationship.
 

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I will differ in opinion about just how many women like a guy for his looks right off the bat.

I've been allowed in girl friend groups and been privy to their thoughts, conversations and actions and there is a lot of hunting and competition among them. A large number of women actually find quite a few guys at least cute and worth a flirt.

I've known many women who were very hungry for male attention and were attracted to quite a few men who were maybe average to just above in the looks department.

Of those women, a large percentage were willing to have sex pretty quickly with those guys to either attract them or try them out. They also were not able to get a guy's attention all that often either or have them go for them sexually near as often as they would have liked and definitely not as much as flawed studies seem to indicate.
Having mixed with and got to know countless women over the years I cant say I have met many as your describe.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I have also seen nice looking women attracted to men who were pretty plain, its the way men treat the partners and their character that seem to make or break a relationship.
No argument here. I've seen more than one odd couple that seemed made for each other and Mrs. Conan and I might even fit that description from an outsider's point of view.

When I first fell head over heels for her, a lot of folks didn't get it and one of my friends even asked me flat out why I was with her because he knew a couple of the ladies I had attracted.

Don't get me wrong. Mrs. Conan is vivacious, in shape and cute. She has no problems attracting potential mates but some of the women I ran with were actual models. Mrs. C was the only woman that ever struck me like lightning however and everyone acknowledges that I made a great decision with her.
 

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Having mixed with and got to know countless women over the years I cant say I have met many as your describe.
I have been involved with literally hundreds of women, in their groups and close friends.

You also move in very different circles from many of us. I do not doubt the verity of your posts but in believing them, I conclude you have been around very different people and circumstances than many of us.

I believe you and your experience. It doesn't discount what is going on in other places however.
 

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In my experience, ladies are just as shallow as the men, but they are more in denial of the fact. They also tend to be more specific about what they are attracted to physically. Personally, I find many different kinds of ladies attractive but I've seen women list off very distinctive traits a man must have in order for her to get some chemistry with him.
 

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Over my long years, my impression is this. Men care about big boobs and skininess first. Nearly any woman with big boobs will have some men coming around. I've seen it over and over. Ideally, most want big boobs and skinny, a combo that isn't common. Like I worked with a woman who was overweight and wore the same slovenly clingy sausage-y pure polyester clothes she must have had in high school before the teenage pregnancy. She has a totally mundane face and kind of pissy personality, and she always attracted men. Now, these men were nothing special, but just saying, she'll never be alone because Boobs.

In the 1970s, before so much plastic surgery, the boob preference was still present, but it wasn't mandatory -- because hardly any women had big boobs since it's unnatural unless you're fat or just a rare genetic type. I am so glad I was dating in the 70s and not since then! In the 70s, men actually appreciated a woman who could wear a dress slit to her waist without hanging out, some of them.

I've seen good looking men date skinny women with big boobs and a really bad face and ruined hair. They aren't looking up there, those particular men. They're just all about what she looks like bouncing on top of them from below.

With women, I've seen some who I just can't fathom how they could want to have sex, much less marry, some of the guys they let into their lives, for both physical and personality reasons. Yes, good looking guys will always get a lot of play, but different women have vastly different opinions what is attractive. One of my acquaintance's husband looks like Alfred E. Newman and is a total recluse full of conspiracy theories who is uninvolved with the family (or anyone) as much as possible, and because she was abandoned by her father when young, he has been able to convince her that he is attractive and women want him. He's also bad for sex, real bad, again, uninvolved. If she ever dumps him, he will never be able to get another woman to go out with him unless he pays her.

I have always seen women or known women and thought, Jeez, you could do better. Or why do you keep that jackass around? Women put up with a lot of crap, I guess out of insecurity, or maybe that's what's familiar to them from childhood. Don't know. The women whose fathers abandoned them chase jerks all the time trying to score a victory, I guess, they didn't get from their absent dad. It's like, "This guy doesn't want to do his part being a partner or a father. I'll show him and do it all myself while he just sticks around, unlike my dad, who just disappeared." They really do this. It's just the saddest thing.

Depends too what crowd you run in or if you are more mainstream with women and what they find attractive. The king of our big group of music type people locally was a short guy with a great personality and a beautiful face.

My crowd, the women, didn't like the look of jocks at all and didn't find big weightlifting or beefy male stripper bodies attractive. They liked lean and good hair, nice face. But there's all kinds.
 

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I have posted about this a few times over the year or so that I've been on this site...

In my experience, with most women, looks are NOT the same for them that they are for men. Men can become physically aroused enough to HAVE sex with a woman they don't like, just because she attracts them. Visual stimuli causes a physiological response in men FOR sex, no matter if her personality is attractive or not. I just haven't spoken to ANY women who are like that. Not that there aren't SOME who are, there could be.

Sure, women can appreciate HOW a man with the body type that attracts her looks, and maybe that attraction triggers her to fantasize about HIM wanting her and what they would do together, and THAT turns her on physically. But purely visual...? NO. I've NEVER heard of that. I believe it's biologically different...and makes good biological sense! I think men want to look, and women want to be looked at. That's what I see play out over and over and over.
 

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A man's looks will grow on me if I find his personality appealing. Having said that, there are certain types of men I find more attractive physically then others. For instance, I've always liked taller men and I find it harder to get past a big belly, but I married someone who is short and stocky so, in the end, it's not about looks for me. Chemistry is what counts. I think that's true of attraction for both men and women.
 

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I've seen a lot of women behave the exact same way towards good looking men.

I really don't think gender factors in much difference at all.
Women as a whole are no less immune to shiny objects than men.

I know individuals are different and you haven't been drawn to looks but that is an individual trait that men can have as well.

I've known plenty of women along with men who have been immediately attracted to lookers and they didn't need anything else to try and start some sort of relationship with them.

I'm not promoting that behavior BTW. I've seen it usually doesn't go anywhere long lasting or worth while.
I would say that maybe you've been around a certain TYPE of women then...OR...the guys who looked good had something EXTRA that attracted those women...I believe most women are more attracted or turned off by a guy's ATTITUDE than his LOOKS.

And I could be wrong...but from what I've heard and seen with the women I've been around, it's NOT the same as men at all.

But it's also subtle...it can appear to be more visually driven than what's really going on underneath, possibly.
 
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