Okay, Random, you don't want to be that guy that has the affair, and I SO respect that!
If you WANT THINGS TO CHANGE, then you must REQUIRE CHANGE - from her and from yourself.
Get into MC with your wife. If she REFUSES to go, get into IC for yourself. Find out about WHO YOU ARE, what you WANT, what you NEED out of life. You can't improve your marriage by yourself. You can improve YOURSELF by yourself. After working on yourself and your boundaries (give it at least 4 months of counseling), see if you're still interested in working on your marriage. If you aren't (or if wife STILL refuses to enter MC with you), then pull the plug.
Life is too short to wish it away year after year. Either way, this friend of your wife's should be HANDS OFF forever (if you stay married) or for at least 18 months (until your divorce is FINAL, NOT FILED - FINAL).
Good luck!
Well, wishing and wanting are NOT going to make it happen. You're too nice, you're a doormat and she doesn't respect you.
If you WANT THINGS TO CHANGE, then you must REQUIRE CHANGE - from her and from yourself.
Get into MC with your wife. If she REFUSES to go, get into IC for yourself. Find out about WHO YOU ARE, what you WANT, what you NEED out of life. You can't improve your marriage by yourself. You can improve YOURSELF by yourself. After working on yourself and your boundaries (give it at least 4 months of counseling), see if you're still interested in working on your marriage. If you aren't (or if wife STILL refuses to enter MC with you), then pull the plug.
Life is too short to wish it away year after year. Either way, this friend of your wife's should be HANDS OFF forever (if you stay married) or for at least 18 months (until your divorce is FINAL, NOT FILED - FINAL).
Good luck!