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I get it, what he doesn't know will not hurt him, right? Except that's never true. You have already transferred affection away from him. It has already hurt.
 

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It's supposed to be within yourself to naturally, instinctively discriminate and reject that that it's not advantageous.
No

Supposed by whom or by what?

What is natural to you is unnatural to others - that is how humans are. There is no known mechanism for us to "naturally, instinctively discriminate and reject that that it's(sic) not advantageous." How do you think that could happen?

As you say evolution is about the continuation of the species - but evolution is not aiming at anything, it is merely a process in which many different variations occur naturally; some aid reproduction, some don't and most have no immediate effect. Those that aid tend to become common - but common is not universal - otherwise the variations gained by sexual reproduction would cease and our ability to respond to changing environments might be (fatally) limited.
 
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No

Supposed by whom or by what?

What is natural to you is unnatural to others - that is how humans are. There is no known mechanism for us to "naturally, instinctively discriminate and reject that that it's(sic) not advantageous." How do you think that could happen?

As you say evolution is about the continuation of the species - but evolution is not aiming at anything, it is merely a process in which many different variations occur naturally; some aid reproduction, some don't and most have no immediate effect. Those that aid tend to become common - but common is not universal - otherwise the variations gained by sexual reproduction would cease and our ability to respond to changing environments might be (fatally) limited.
Common is not common, it is strong. If it were not for "common" you would have not been born, so common actually is respectable.

The "common" are not about to walk silently into this dark night!
 

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As an adult you have to learn to check your emotions at times. OP you say you will put a stop to the interactions with your attraction and that's the smartest thing to do.

Aside from being a married woman you are also a teacher so you have carerre concerns as well. Can you imagine what would happen if a married teacher was discovered to be having a lesbian affair with another staff member? Political correctness aside good chance they would run both of you out of the district.
 

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No

Supposed by whom or by what?

What is natural to you is unnatural to others - that is how humans are. There is no known mechanism for us to "naturally, instinctively discriminate and reject that that it's(sic) not advantageous." How do you think that could happen?

As you say evolution is about the continuation of the species - but evolution is not aiming at anything, it is merely a process in which many different variations occur naturally; some aid reproduction, some don't and most have no immediate effect. Those that aid tend to become common - but common is not universal - otherwise the variations gained by sexual reproduction would cease and our ability to respond to changing environments might be (fatally) limited.
No. You are wrong. There are forces within any species that gear towards that that ensures the most successful outcome, whether consciously or directed.

So that we don't go to far, take humans males for example; on a primeval basis, without specific cultural bias, most of them around the world would prefer and be attracted to the almost hour glass figure of females in order to mate and procreate, now take that female figure and let's say for example that for some biological reason, females with that shape can't after a while procreate, the pressure on males would be to switch to let's say for example to a pear shape female that is fertile every time. Here natural selection is taking place,and in humans is not only instinctive, but also a choice.

What you are referring to is the random environmental factors that affects most species that can't adapt to the changing factors, like an specialized species, such as pandas. Each species, and sub-species, would only eat a specific type of bamboo. This type of bamboo dies, the panda goes with it too.
We humans have passed that threshold, but the problem with it is that although not longer subjected to random environmental factors (to a point), we still are subjected to many other factors, such as ignoring genetic factors that even a "primitive" aboriginal can tell you that is a no no, such as continuous inbreeding, generation after generation.
Well, I could go on, but just have to go watch a movie, after that charred octopus and scallops and a bottle of wine. But we can continue tomorrow as to why genetic pressures in humans are being taking into consideration or not by western cultures.
 

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For the past few months I’ve developed an attraction to my coworker. We are both teachers. I’m married. She’s not. I haven’t acted on this attraction, but it’s there. We’ve both acknowledged it and that’s as far as it’s gone.
I don’t want to have an affair, I love my husband very much. But this attraction is something I can’t explain. It’s stronger than I am and I need some help dealing with this. Do I tell my husband? Do I quit my job? It’s the middle of the year that not as easy as it sounds walking out on a classroom of students. Any advice is welcome. Thanks.
You most certainly tell your husband. This is an issue and you need to be honest to him about it, even if you are planning to go full radio silence with your co-worker. After you tell him, it is up to you and him as to what happens after that. If your husband is alright with you having a relationship with another woman, but maybe not another man, then work from there. If he wants to be full monogamous, then you have to make your decisions from there. Only you can decide whether you are monogamous or polyamourous. After that you then have to decide what you are willing to do without. This also goes for your husband. If you determine that you are poly but you can live without having other relationships, then power to you. If he decides that he is monogamous but is alright with you being poly (yes such relationships exist), again power to him. Bottom line is that you two have options, and you both have to determine what is best for your marriage, and whether or not it remains a marriage. He might decide that even the potential now for another attraction to be formed will be too much for him. Hopefully not, but it would be a valid decision for him. Communication is key.
 

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Vows are vows and you are faithful or not.

I'm not really concerned about the rigging.😉
@ConanHub Well I sure as hell am! I don't swing that way. I agree about the vows of course.

Why do we need someone to help her to cheat? Wow.
@Diana7 there are many paths in life. Open your mind a little.


Point taken Dictum.
@EB123 I would ignore this guy. He's just enjoying beating up on you.

I do think you should tell your husband, though. I don't like being played the fool, I don't think many men do. It doesn't sound like anything really serious has happened to this point, and I think being honest with your husband will make you both feel better: get it off your chest and boost his confidence in you and your marriage.

You most certainly tell your husband......Communication is key.
Ah, the master finally shows up. @EB123 Grok @maquiscat , he walks a different path, but is well worth listening to.
 

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@ConanHub Well I sure as hell am! I don't swing that way. I agree about the vows of course.



@Diana7 there are many paths in life. Open your mind a little.




@EB123 I would ignore this guy. He's just enjoying beating up on you.

I do think you should tell your husband, though. I don't like being played the fool, I don't think many men do. It doesn't sound like anything really serious has happened to this point, and I think being honest with your husband will make you both feel better: get it off your chest and boost his confidence in you and your marriage.



Ah, the master finally shows up. @EB123 Grok @maquiscat , he walks a different path, but is well worth listening to.
It's actually much more prudent to ignore someone who plays fast and loos with morals as it suits them. I won't point fingers, just quoting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #94 ·
@ConanHub Well I sure as hell am! I don't swing that way. I agree about the vows of course.



@Diana7 there are many paths in life. Open your mind a little.




@EB123 I would ignore this guy. He's just enjoying beating up on you.

I do think you should tell your husband, though. I don't like being played the fool, I don't think many men do. It doesn't sound like anything really serious has happened to this point, and I think being honest with your husband will make you both feel better: get it off your chest and boost his confidence in you and your marriage.



Yeah Norman, I could see that guy has got some issues and is taking them out on me. I’m not replying to him anymore, it’s getting a little creepy tbh.

And you’re right, I am going to talk to my husband. Thanks for the advice.
 

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Yeah Norman, I could see that guy has got some issues and is taking them out on me. I’m not replying to him anymore, it’s getting a little creepy tbh.

And you’re right, I am going to talk to my husband. Thanks for the advice.
@EB123 , agreed!

You seem like a very nice person, I wish you the best!
 

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you are also a teacher so you have carerre concerns as well. Can you imagine what would happen if a married teacher was discovered to be having a lesbian affair with another staff member? Political correctness aside good chance they would run both of you out of the district.
in today's society????

Probably nothing at all.
 

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Actually, In most school systems, there are two quick ways to get fired: romance and finance.
Dating coworkers is a horrible, horrible idea at a school. Everyone knows both parties pretty closely, and if they break up, causes strain in the work atmosphere, and if they are caught romancing by the kids or other adults, it messes up the work atmosphere too.

Best not to have romance with coworkers period, but especially not in a school. And it’s a den of gossip anyway. Doesn’t need stoking.
 

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Common is not common, it is strong. If it were not for "common" you would have not been born, so common actually is respectable.

The "common" are not about to walk silently into this dark night!
Is this a persecution complex I see before me?

Common - Prevalent, the most widespread or typical etc. etc..
 
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