[Tryingtobreath]

Ever wonder if the other BS is on here asking questions about YOUR situation? Some stories on here make me think, "wow, I wonder if that's the posOM's Wife!?

I wonder if there is a way to post some sort of specific identifying info about your situation almost as a feeler to see if anyone else on TAM is involved in your story.

Ex: I could post the employer my exwife works for and see if anyone on here has a betraying spouse working at the same location.

Thoughts?

(this is obviously for people that don't want to contact the other betrayed spouse directly for whatever reason)

 

[mahike]

I am not sure this is the place for this. Not knowing who the other person is on this site allows us to be completly honest in seeking and giving help

 

[Tryingtobreath]

I completely get that.

But some workplace affairs could be exposed to the other spouse by means of simply stating "my cheating wife is working for "xyz corp".

Anonymity is still there, but it would send out a lead I guess to the other betrayed spouse.

 

[C-man]

Not a good idea, in my opinion. There's a certain safety in revealing specific details of a situation but leaving out specific identifying info.

Besides, so many of these situations follow a script that plays out again and again. That's the real value - at least to me. You can learn from other's experience because a lot of times the situations are very similar so you get a lot of input which people give freely.

I think exposure should be done outside of this forum - by whatever means possible. But using this site for exposure would probably lead to a lot of flame wars and close/deleted threads.

 

[LookingForTheSun]

You could just send a PM to someone if you think you are connected. Ask them if their spouse works for XYZ corp...then it stays hush-hush to everyone else.

 

[Pit-of-my-stomach]

There are no monsters under the bed.

Some degree of PTSD is common in situations were someone exeriences extreme emotional trauma. With that comes a hightened sense of paranoia. The fact that almost all stories involving infidelity are earily similiar, and contain painfully familiar nuances feeds into that.

Not to say it's not possible. Obviously people get struck by lightning and someone has to win the lottery but chances are, your minds hypervigalance is responsible for the conspiracy you see. I convinced myself of various things during my journey, that now amaze me.

There are ten's of millions of people out here, and countless resources they could be using to cope this. The odds are better that you get a knock at your door soon because you won the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.

Take a deep breath and try to calm your mind.

 

[canttrustu]

There are no monsters under the bed.

Some degree of PTSD is common in situations were someone exeriences extreme emotional trauma. With that comes a hightened sense of paranoia. The fact that almost all stories involving infidelity are earily similiar, and contain painfully familiar nuances feeds into that.

Not to say it's not possible. Obviously people get struck by lightning and someone has to win the lottery but chances are, your minds hypervigalance is responsible for the conspiracy you see. I convinced myself of various things during my journey, that now amaze me.

There are ten's of millions of people out here, and countless resources they could be using to cope this. The odds are better that you get a knock at your door soon because you won the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.

Take a deep breath and try to calm your mind.

This. And remember you are likely not eating or sleeping well which can contribute to some not so clear thoughts. Get some exercise and eat something nutricious. Take some Melatonin and then in the morning see if things look the same.

Good luck. And Fwiw, I wouldnt put it out on here even it turned out that the OW was on here if her name or company was involved. But she sure would get a personal visit if she were here drumming up her bs. Now, I'd love to speak w/ her H.......but unfortunately Ithink they are two peas in a pod and deserve each other.

Get some rest if you can and see how it looks after you've gained some perspective.

 

[Tryingtobreath]

Good advices.

The odds would be ridiculously in favor of NOT pairing up with the other betrayed spouse on here. You're right.