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Hi there - first of all his points referencing answers to my allegations are complete bull - he could argue his way out of a murder trial - having heard positive and negative responses I am assured I shouldn't be in this marriage.

With regard to asking why I knew about him coming on this site - he came up and told me! repeatedly and how awful I was and that was when the window incident happened.

With regard to him refuting most of what I said well see above.

It is disturbing that I let the abuse go on.

Not allowed on the computer or to eat/drink if he sees fit if I have annoyed him.

Also sorry but for my defence - I am not allowed on facebook or any media outlook - he is an IT person so monitors everything I type and all websites/addresses I go to/texts everything.

If this is not abuse then I don't really get what is.

I have been to womans aid and the police so many times - SS have been involved and I was told to leave him immediately otherwise my children would be taken away - I had to agree.

But I am sure he will say different.

To the person that likes a bit of action with the MIL then I find this disgusting - she is my mother and we lost my father - from brain cancer - in 2008. Rethink what you say.

Many thanks for anybody that has said kind words X.
 
Since joining TAM I've never heard of a situation where the husband and wife are both on the same thread and telling totally different stories. I don't know about anyone else, but my head is spinning here. Are they serious? Is someone just making this all up? What in the world is going on? If they are indeed serious, which one is being truthful? :confused:
 
Lima Charlie twisted person.

Can we get some mods in here to check some IPs or something?

Because this is ridiculous.

He monitors your activity so you can't post on Facebook? But you can come to TAM, where he already knows you are going, because he told you to come here, and start trolling around, because he's an IT guy, and he'll know your password or something.

Moderators please?

I could have wasted the last ten minutes on Reddit looking at pictures of grumpy cat.
This could imply that the wife is, indeed, prone to exaggeration, to put it mildly.

Rusty, be careful of calling people out. It can lead to bans. Just PM a moderator. Leave it to them. It's the safest option.

My wife is prone to exaggeration. If I make a vague suggestion she claims that I 'ordered' her to do something. Utter BS, but she can't see that. A friend called her on it once. Friend said: "Matt never told you to do anything. He just made a suggestion. "
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Since joining TAM I've never heard of a situation where the husband and wife are both on the same thread and telling totally different stories. I don't know about anyone else, but my head is spinning here. Are they serious? Is someone just making this all up? What in the world is going on? If they are indeed serious, which one is being truthful? :confused:
It has happened before. I have also seen it happen in real life, too, with two people telling two entirely different stories to explain why their marriage had fallen to pieces.
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This is a big mess. First if I may suggest, seeing a professional about the "cutting " problem. You slashing away at body parts and possibly worse, is not the way to go. What your wife, if you can call her that, is doing is just disgusting. On top of that your son finds her in the water closet, with some guy. She may be the mother of your children, but her judgment is way off. On top of that you quit your job, to attempt to fix it. She has some serious boundaries that are being crossed. Time to nuke this, in it's entirety. Expose this to everyone. Her behavior will only get worse. Your health is also in question. Please see someone to help you through this, you are not equipped to handle this alone. I'm not saying you aren't strong enough, it's just her behavior and your physical response to this, is a cry for help. Do it for your mental stability and for your kids. Having one stable parent, is a must. Please keep coming here for support, you will get it from us betrayed, online friends. BTW, we don't pull punches, this stuff, however hard to read is intended to help you not hurt you. Good luck.
 
Hi there - first of all his points referencing answers to my allegations are complete bull - he could argue his way out of a murder trial - having heard positive and negative responses I am assured I shouldn't be in this marriage.

With regard to asking why I knew about him coming on this site - he came up and told me! repeatedly and how awful I was and that was when the window incident happened.

With regard to him refuting most of what I said well see above.

It is disturbing that I let the abuse go on.

Not allowed on the computer or to eat/drink if he sees fit if I have annoyed him.

Also sorry but for my defence - I am not allowed on facebook or any media outlook - he is an IT person so monitors everything I type and all websites/addresses I go to/texts everything.

If this is not abuse then I don't really get what is.

I have been to womans aid and the police so many times - SS have been involved and I was told to leave him immediately otherwise my children would be taken away - I had to agree.

But I am sure he will say different.

To the person that likes a bit of action with the MIL then I find this disgusting - she is my mother and we lost my father - from brain cancer - in 2008. Rethink what you say.

Many thanks for anybody that has said kind words X.
If he is so controlling to the extent he doesn't let you use/view websites, how come he is allowing you to post your responses on here?

Your responses make him out to be some sort of monster, given that you say he is controlling what you do in every other sphere - why let you paint this picture of him?

It seems rather equitable of him really. This does not fit your picture of yourself. I mean him. Him. sorry.
 
First of all I don't know what a water closet is!!

Secondly yes he will read what I put.

Thirdly he didn't quit his job - he's working fro home so perhaps read what I put properly.

And lastly I came on here - only because my husband told me he had been going on here and everyone agreed with him and he defended me (?) then I read what he had put - to say my side whether I am a loony/stupid/disgusting/etc. etc.

Anyway enough.

I am sure there are many of you out there that have a hell of a lot of problems that perhaps need addressing instead of gossiping on a marriage site.

X
 
First of all I don't know what a water closet is!!

Secondly yes he will read what I put.

Thirdly he didn't quit his job - he's working fro home so perhaps read what I put properly.

And lastly I came on here - only because my husband told me he had been going on here and everyone agreed with him and he defended me (?) then I read what he had put - to say my side whether I am a loony/stupid/disgusting/etc. etc.

Anyway enough.

I am sure there are many of you out there that have a hell of a lot of problems that perhaps need addressing instead of gossiping on a marriage site.

X
Not at all. We are, I am sure, quite captivated by your story and concerned that the correct outcome ensues.

A water closet, by the way, is a toilet.
 
Sorry I was being sarcastic - of course I can guess what it is - it just is a ridiculous name for a hall and group of toilets.

In english a closet is a cupboard.

In english water is well water.

X
Well, I'm from England, where we speak English, and a water closet - a WC - is a toilet.
 
Sorry I was being sarcastic - of course I can guess what it is - it just is a ridiculous name for a hall and group of toilets.

In english a closet is a cupboard.

In english water is well water.

X
By the way, did your twelve year old son catch you with another man kissing or having any sexual contact?
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Hi - no there was no eye contact with regards to sexual/touching or anything from my son.

However tonight has taken a twist.

It is my sons parents evening and I as a hands on parent that always monitors my sons homework/correspondence at school and deals with all sporting activities - squash three times a week - rugby once a week and fesitvals - swimming youngest. Organise all things regarding my mother looking after them to get them in a different environment. She takes them swimming/gym/squash/rugby if she is available but she is very busy with her own life and the gymnastics that has consumed her life teaching since my dad died.

She is fully welcomed to that - it is so good for her - and she in turn is so good with the grandchildren.

However my husband said I wasn't allowed to go to the parents evening and he would go - even though drunk out of his face - my son started saying no I don't want you to - i want mummy to not you - look at you and he got livid and started to go after him - I held his jumper to stop him and he knocked me to the ground, my head hurts - he also slapped me - my middle child witnessed this - however my husband said he did no such thing and then that confuses my second child as he knows what he saw - he husband just refutes everything - he then strangled my eldest when he came down and started saying again he didn't want him to go to parents evening.

Then my husband said I was a lazy fat ***** and was disgusting and so awful and do nothing ever - and said that about 10 times in my face aggressively and then again in front of my children I am a slag etc etc.

I said so you are saying you didn't strangle me the other day and he said no - he did though - I couldn't breathe.

He refutes it all.

I dread him coming back from the parents evening.

I know that the kissing of another man was unacceptable but maybe after 14 years of abuse I had/have enough.

He has a new job earning 18,000 a month - I dont care - I would love just a simple house and simple car or not without him screaming at me and demeaning me and telling me I am disgusting and fat and my back doesn't hurt after 3 csections and I am lazy and so awful. Sorry X
 
ok many thanks for your help - so nice considering it is a forum where things are discussed and I am very very uspet.

Yes no more - some of you just want to gossip obviously and not take peoples problems about marriage on board.

Sorry for bothering.

Regards S
 
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